Mending Hearts
by JeffAndShannon
Summary: Adam sits at home recovering from his operation. But one guy just won't get off his mind. (Slash. You have been warned.) I still own nothing and I still know no one.
1. On the Edge

Adam watched the monitor carefully, blocking any other noise around him. He'd been away from the ring for months now and it was killing him not to be there. He missed the action. He missed the drama. He missed the backstage antics. He missed . . . HIM. He was on the screen right now. And he was losing, unfortunately.  
  
He wasn't sure when it first took hold of him, but it was getting stronger as time went on. Maybe it was because he wasn't there right now. Absence making the heart grow fonder and all of that. Whatever it was, a waning flicker of interest had turned into a full-blown obsession for the tall, blond Canadian. He couldn't stop thinking about the guy. It hadn't even been this bad when he'd been trying to hide his feelings all those years ago.  
  
Jay. Adam felt the twinge of guilt about what was going on. Jay was his best friend and former lover. His first lover, too, male or female. They started dating each other towards the end of their senior year in high school, but kept it quiet. Jay was open about his own sexuality but Adam wasn't comfortable telling anyone else. He was scared of what his parents and other friends would say. Jay had said that it didn't bother him to hide their feelings for one another, but Adam knew that the inability to openly show his affection for his lover hurt him. It had started the small rift in their relationship that over a few years developed into a chasm too wide to sustain. They were still friends, but now things were awkward between them and Adam couldn't figure out how to fix it.  
  
Adam shook himself out of his thoughts and winced when he saw the wrestler on the screen take a bump to the back of the head. That wasn't planned, he thought grimly. The opponent could have done that better, but what can you expect from a rookie? Adam didn't agree with the company's new approach of bringing younger, less experienced guys in before making them go through a rigid developmental program. Yeah, they passed through OVW, but not for long anymore. It made for unpredictable falls and more injuries.  
  
He knew the company's storylines called for the wrestler on the screen to take a lot of losses, like now. And like last week. We can't have the belt changing hands, now, can we? No, he wouldn't be able to wear that particular gold belt for a long time. It and tonight's losses were meant to hype up the gimmick he was involved in and to push the wrestler's teammate. Adam liked the tag partner he teamed with. They'd been friends for years, in fact. But he hated that he had to keep losing and to some very inferior opponents just to boost the other guy's program.  
  
He watched as again the wrestler took a bump that looked avoidable. His blood started to boil. Considering his own injuries, he would have expected the company to take a stronger stance on training the rookies to deal blows better so that they didn't hurt anyone if they could help it. He watched uncertainly as the man lifted his head and blinked his eyes.  
  
"At least he's moving," Adam grumbled, taking a long sip of his beer.  
  
Once, when Jay was fighting RVD, Adam could have sworn that that the unorthodox former ECW champ had given his former lover a concussion with what looked like a DDT, but was actually so poorly executed it was hard to tell. Adam intended to have a chat with Rob the next time he saw him. But he would have to do it without Jay finding out. There was nothing that pissed the smaller Canadian off more than being coddled.  
  
One of the wrestlers on the screen got up and leaned against the turnbuckle. His opponent stalked him from the other corner. Adam leaned forward in his chair unconsciously biting his fingernail. Just as the guy launched his attack, the other man jumped out of the way. Before the guy could get up, the man leaped on him and went for a pin. He was kicked off, of course, but Adam smiled at his tenacity.  
  
He thought back to the days he first started wrestling completely solo. He and Jay had been so distant before the team's break up that they'd hardly spoken at all. They'd already been broken up, romantically speaking, for nearly half a year, but Adam didn't think they hated each other. When Jay was sent out to deliver the "conchairto" though, his eyes even looked alien. Like he and Adam were strangers. After that break, they'd used the storyline as an excuse to get away from each other. But no matter what happened, Adam still counted Jay as his best friend.  
  
His own matches became phenomenal. He'd been given the biggest push ever, with opponents like Chris Jericho and championship matches. But when he won the tag title with Hogan and then again with Mysterio, he knew Jay was watching somewhere sadly. Just as he watched sadly as Jay went on to Raw and won the tag title with Lance Storm and then Chris Jericho. It was as if the management was reminding them both that they were no longer a team and likely would never be again. That they should get used to different partners.  
  
He'd had a lot of time to think about things while he convalesced from his operation. There were a lot of things he hoped to make right when he got back. He would find a way to get himself back on track with Jay.  
  
After another couple of near pinfalls, the guy on the screen finally jobbed to the rookie. Adam shook his head and watched as he lay in the middle of the ring with a dazed look on his face, his opponent dancing up the ramp in celebration.  
  
In two weeks, Adam would be visiting his old Smackdown friends when he went on a promotional tour with them. Coincidentally, also in two weeks, one of Adam's good friends would be leaving Smackdown for Raw. While Adam was sorry he wouldn't be working with him again, at least for a while, he wasn't devastated. Because that meant that in two weeks Adam would have HIM all to himself.  
  
"I'm coming back soon, Shannon," he whispered to the figure on the screen hobbling out of the ring. "I just hope I can catch your interest when I get there."  
  
***********************************  
  
NOTE: I hope that opener went right. I wanted you to think of Jay until the end. Adam still has unresolved issues, as you can see, but he knows what he wants. This isn't a sequel to "Through the Years" and Shannon and Jeff aren't in love with each other in this one. There will be other couples here, too. Probably lots of them! Or at least several choice combinations. Do you like it so far? 


	2. Moving forward

"Hey, buddy!" Chris Benoit greeted Adam as he walked into the hotel. "It's been forever!"  
  
"It's only been a few months since I've seen you," Adam smiled.  
  
"It felt like forever," the shorter man grinned. "You've been working out again, huh?"  
  
"Does it show?"  
  
"Well, you look better," Chris grinned. "And not like the 200 pound stick figure I've heard about on the internet."  
  
"For the last time," Adam grumbled, "I don't know who that fan saw, but it wasn't me! I haven't gone to one game this season."  
  
"Well, you know how rumors start," Terry smiled as he sidled up to the two Canadians. "How's the neck feeling?"  
  
"Fine, Mother," Adam laughed. "And yours?"  
  
"Stop being a wiseass," Terry, also known as Rhyno, frowned. "You still haven't been cleared yet."  
  
"Yeah," Chris agreed, mirroring Terry's paternal expression. "We know how easy it is to give into the urge to overexert it, too. Like when you visit a friend and start playing muscle men in a bar when you're not supposed to."  
  
"I didn't hurt it again," Adam sighed defensively. "And Lance pulled back immediately when I asked him to. We were just horsing around."  
  
"I read his account of it and yours," Terry replied. "I also read between the lines."  
  
"Meaning?"  
  
"Meaning we know you must have been in a lot pain to even say something," Chris finished for Terry. "Stop pushing yourself before your body's ready. Or I'll put you in a crossface and really give you something to complain about."  
  
"Yes, Mothers," Adam grinned.  
  
"Did you see Matt on Raw?" Terry asked changing the subject, much to Adam's relief.  
  
"Yeah," the tall blond replied. "He looked good."  
  
"Poor Shannon, though," Chris muttered.  
  
"Why?" Adam frowned deeply. "What happened?"  
  
"Matt's a friend of yours," Chris said with an arched eyebrow. "So don't take this the wrong way, but he's a prick sometimes."  
  
Adam remained quiet but beckoned for an explanation with his eyes.  
  
"He used the kid," Terry cut in. "He used his longtime friendship with him to get him into bed, told him they'd be a rising force on Smackdown then took the first chance he could to jump to Raw. He didn't even ask the writers to work something out for Shannon before he left. Like the kid didn't mean a thing to him."  
  
Adam tried to keep a neutral expression on his face but it was hard. Matt slept with Shannon? But he and Adam talked just before the Canadian's operation and Matt had indicated that he was pining for someone on Raw, though he wouldn't say who. Matt had gone a little crazy when Jeff left, so Adam just assumed that he was missing his brother. But Matt and Shannon never seemed like anything more than two old friends teaming up together. Adam hadn't revealed his infatuation with the smaller blond to anyone, so Matt couldn't have known. But if this was true, Adam figured the dark- haired Southerner had gone a little crazier than he'd first suspected. It didn't sound like the friend he knew.  
  
"So, how's Shannon doing?" he asked as nonchalantly as he could muster.  
  
"Well, he's okay for now," Terry said. "Heyman is coming up with a new image for him and working a small program where his character is punishing Shannon's for not telling him Version 1.0 was leaving for the competition. But the kid's still pretty down in the dumps."  
  
"I can't believe Matt did something like that," Adam sighed.  
  
"Believe it," Chris said shrugging. "He's been different lately, Adam. Not like the Matt you used to hang with."  
  
"But the poor kid," Adam said.  
  
"Yeah, we agree," Terry said. "That's where you come in."  
  
"Me?" Adam asked jerking his head back up to meet Terry's gaze, then Chris'.  
  
"Yeah, you," Chris smiled. "The kid's got no one to travel with at the moment, seeing as how Matt kept him close after you left."  
  
Adam nodded silently, but inside his head the wheels were turning. Travel with Shannon? Oh, they didn't need to ask him twice. He'd do it gladly. He'd also try to get the smaller blond to cheer up and open up. He wanted to know what the hell happened since he'd been gone.  
  
"Can you do this for us?" Chris asked sincerely.  
  
"Yeah, no problem," Adam smiled.  
  
*******************************  
  
Shannon studied the carpet beneath the chair he sat on thoughtfully. It was a nondescript piece of gray with little rust-colored dots woven through it. Sterile. Antiseptic. Like hospital carpets, he decided. He'd seen enough hospital carpets in his time. Between his own injuries and his father's, he'd seen the inside of many a hospital in his young life. Thoughts of his father further depressed him. How he missed the man. This wasn't a hospital, however. It was the lobby of another hotel. He'd seen a lot of those, too.  
  
Matt hadn't been gone long but Shannon already felt cold inside. He knew the older man hadn't loved him. He'd never lied to Shannon about where his heart was. But he had promised that their relationship in the ring was going to help make Shannon into the caliber of star he and Jeff were. He also promised not to hurt him. But that seemed to be too much of an oath to keep, too.  
  
Shannon had attempted to keep his feelings for Matt on a friendship level and had resisted Matt's advances at first. He knew the other man loved someone else, but he didn't know who that person was. He just didn't want to end up feeling dumped in the end. But Matt was persistent and Shannon had had a crush on the older Hardy for so long. One night, though, when he and Matt both had a little too much to drink, he gave in. He thought it would be a one-night-stand, but Matt surprised him in the morning with a long kiss and a promise not to hurt him.  
  
Well here he was, hurt and alone. He didn't even want to talk to Jeff, because his voice reminded him of Matt's. And he didn't want to hear Jeff tell him he'd warned him. He had warned him, of course, but Shannon hadn't heeded. He didn't need a reminder, though.  
  
"Hey, Shannon?" a deep voice called to him from his left.  
  
He looked over to see Adam Copeland, better known as Edge, leaning against the wall. He didn't look like a man convalescing from a major neck operation at all. He looked the same. Better, even. Shannon hadn't had many conversations with the stunning Canadian before he'd left for the surgery, but he did like the man. He'd always treated Shannon as an equal, even though the smaller blond was a "lowly" cruiserweight.  
  
"Hi, Adam," Shannon smiled halfheartedly. "How's it going?"  
  
"Could be better," Adam grinned back. "I could be back already."  
  
"Yeah," Shannon nodded looking back down at the carpet. "I guess."  
  
"How are you doing?"  
  
The question brought Shannon's eyes back up. What had he heard? Were the rumors making the rounds again? He was embarrassed enough about what happened. Adam's eyes showed no hint of pity, though, so the small blond couldn't be sure.  
  
"Doing okay," Shannon shrugged.  
  
"I have a favor to ask you," Adam smiled sheepishly back at him.  
  
This piqued the younger man's interest. What would "Edge" need from "Shannon Moore, M'Fer" anyway? He nodded for the taller man to continue.  
  
"I don't have a travel buddy for the trip," Adam said softly. "It was sort of thrown together and when I was last here . . ."  
  
His voice trailed off. So he had heard some of the rumors, Shannon thought glumly. Well, it was bound to happen. He would ignore it.  
  
"You were traveling with Matt," he finished for Adam.  
  
Adam shrugged and waited for Shannon to render a decision. As if the small blond would refuse him. No, Shannon could use the company and at least he wouldn't be alone for this trip. He'd been considering joining Brian "Spanky" Kendrick and Paul London for a while, as they said they could use a third driver on long car trips. Translation: they wanted someone to drive while they made out in the backseat. As cute as Shannon found them, he couldn't cope with that yet.  
  
"I'd like that," the small blond said and Adam grinned again. "Who are you rooming with?"  
  
"I was kind of hoping you would help me out there, too," Adam shrugged. "The two mother hens over there," he pointed to Chris and Terry a few yards away who were talking and seemed to be trying to look inconspicuous while they watched Adam's and Shannon's conversation, "are threatening to 'keep an eye' on me, and that makes me VERY uncomfortable."  
  
"It should," Shannon laughed. "I know exactly how it feels."  
  
"So, we're roomies?" Adam asked hopefully.  
  
"Sure," Shannon chuckled and handed him one of the two electronic key cards he'd been given upon checking in. "You don't snore do you?"  
  
"No more than a buzz saw," Adam replied gratefully accepting the key.  
  
"Not a Japanese one, right?" Shannon smiled. "I've enough of Japanese buzz saws for a while."  
  
"No, not like a Japanese buzz saw," Adam said. "Just a big Canadian one."  
  
"Well, that I can handle," Shannon said picking up his bag and leading the way to the elevator.  
  
*******************************  
  
NOTE: Thank you for the wonderful, lovely, gratifying reviews! Sorry to make Matty the meanie, but it had to be done. Besides, Matt will be appearing later on so he'll have his chance to make a case for his defense. Let me know if you still like it! 


	3. Helping out

Matt groaned as he threw himself down onto a chair in his hotel room. The house show he'd performed in had gone well but he felt a little stiff from some of the bumps he took. Jay just looked at him with a smirk.  
  
"What?" Matt asked tiredly.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"It has to be something if you're grinning like that," the older Hardy grunted.  
  
"Been a long time since you worked with the big boys, huh?" Jay laughed.  
  
"Very funny," Matt said closing his eyes. "You think Brock's not big? He did throw me through a wall, you know."  
  
"Yeah, I saw," the blond chuckled. "Nothing worse than going through a cardboard wall."  
  
"You're pretty smug for a 'peep'," Matt smiled though closed eyes.  
  
"I'll be sure to alert the M'Fers of the world."  
  
"Ha ha," Matt opened his eyes. "It's good to be back in your company, your blondliness. Why exactly did you cut your hair again?"  
  
"Stop making hair jokes," the Canadian growled patting his short blond hair. "The writers said I needed a new look to go with my new push and the fans are finally getting used to it."  
  
"It does look good," Matt said after careful consideration. "I just miss the Valley boy look."  
  
"Yeah, well, you could have stayed with Shannon if you wanted long blond hair."  
  
Matt looked away to hide his guilt. He hadn't seen or spoken to Shannon since his last match with Zach Gowan. He didn't even warn the small blond of his impending departure from Smackdown. The writers wanted it kept a secret so Matt complied, but deep down he knew Shannon wouldn't have told anyone. Matt hadn't warned Shannon because he didn't want to see the hurt look on the smaller man's face. It was a cowardly way to handle the separation, he knew, but he didn't want to see that look. Jeff was so pissed at him, too. He'd wanted Matt to tell Shannon as soon as he'd found out. How his little brother had discovered the information was still a mystery, especially considering Jeff wasn't working in WWE at the moment and hadn't been for months.  
  
"Earth to Matt!" Jay's voice cut in.  
  
"Sorry, man, I was just zoning out."  
  
"I could see that," Jay smiled. "The question is why?"  
  
"I just feel bad for not telling Shannon I was going."  
  
"Well, the company wanted you to keep it quiet," Jay shrugged. "Besides, it's not as if he was your girlfriend or anything."  
  
Matt looked down again, feeling his cheeks redden.  
  
"Matt?" Jay beckoned. Matt remained quiet. "You're kidding me!"  
  
"Jay, stop," Matt admonished. "I was drunk one night and I knew he wanted me. He always has. He made no secret of it."  
  
"So he took advantage of you?" Jay's amused expression showed he wasn't entirely convinced of that.  
  
"No," Matt sighed. "I'd been horny for a while and I'd been trying to get him into the sack for a fling but he kept sidestepping me."  
  
"He wanted you, but he didn't want to sleep with you?" Jay asked as he quirked an eyebrow up.  
  
"He wants a relationship," Matt corrected. "I knew that, but I don't want one with anyone else."  
  
"I know that," Jay waved his hand dismissively. "So why did you pursue Shannon if you knew you couldn't give him what he wanted? It sounds a little harsh, man."  
  
"I wanted him," Matt shrugged. "He kind of reminded me of him. So I got him drunk, too, and made him a physical offer he couldn't refuse. In just a couple of short hours, he was mine."  
  
"What about how it was going to hurt him later?"  
  
"You sound awfully offended for someone who doesn't even really know the kid."  
  
"And that's another thing," Jay shot back undaunted. "He's your little brother's best friend. How do you think that's going to go over with Jeff?"  
  
"Jeff's already vocalized his outrage, thank you very much," Matt grunted. "Look, I do feel bad about it. When we started, I was under the impression there was no way I would be moved over to Raw. I never lied to him about my feelings."  
  
"You just left him without a word, though."  
  
Matt nodded, feeling guilty again. He didn't want to hurt Shannon, but he couldn't pass up the opportunity to be near the man he loved.  
  
"You have to get over him, you know," Jay said. "He's dating Lance."  
  
"You should talk about getting over things," Matt replied sadly. "How long has it been since you've dated someone?"  
  
"You didn't have to go there, Matt."  
  
******************************  
  
Adam watched Shannon run through his match game plan with Nunzio and grinned. He was very happy to be back near the ring again, and giving the small blond pointers was becoming the highlight of his day. Last night had been a blast, too. He and Shannon went out with a bunch of other stars and partied for a while. Shannon nursed the same beer the whole time but he did make an effort to stay in the conversations around him. Adam hadn't left the kid's side all night, either. He wanted to make good on his silent promise to cheer him up. When he suggested Shannon allow him to help with the run through, he was pleasantly surprised at how animated the young man became. He knew not to read too much into it, though. Shannon was still recovering from Matt's disappearance from his life and Adam didn't want to start a relationship under such a cloud. They had time to wait until things were right.  
  
"That's perfect," he called to the small blond in the ring. "Just remember to keep your shoulders down so you don't wrench them."  
  
"Like he did," Terry called as he and Chris walked over.  
  
Adam gave Shannon a reassuring grin. He didn't want the smaller man to think they couldn't joke about his surgery. While it was a serious matter, he couldn't give it complete gravity, as that would affect his psychology when returning to the ring.  
  
"Yeah, like I did," he said and Shannon gave him a small smile and a nod.  
  
"He's really taking your pointers well," Chris remarked watching Shannon and Nunzio get back to practice.  
  
"Yeah, and I'm glad to help," Adam replied.  
  
"That's obvious," Terry smiled.  
  
"What's that mean?" Adam asked furrowing his brow.  
  
"Just that we noticed your interest in the kid."  
  
"Hey, I thought you two wanted me to watch out for him," he started.  
  
"We do," Chris replied. "We also know you've had an interest in him since before you left."  
  
"I didn't."  
  
"You did," Terry cut him off. "You weren't as intense then, though. It's okay. We think when he's over what Matt did you'd be good for him. That's why we asked you to help him."  
  
"But."  
  
"Look, Adam," Chris said. "Shannon's hurting right now and you're helping him by distracting him and getting his mind back on his work. That's already proof that you'd be good for him. And we know you won't push him into anything while he's not ready. We wouldn't have let you near him if we thought otherwise."  
  
"Why didn't we have this conversation yesterday?" Adam asked.  
  
"We wanted to see if you could cheer him up," Terry offered. "And you did. Spectacularly."  
  
"I don't want him to think I'm only working with him because I'm after him," Adam admitted. "I think he's had enough of being used. If he's never interested in me, that's cool. We can just be friends."  
  
"See?" Chris smiled and reached up to pat Adam on the shoulder. "That's what separates you from Matt. You care about what's best for the kid over yourself."  
  
"So, once the promo tour's done, are you going back home?" Terry asked.  
  
"Not exactly," Adam grinned.  
  
"Meaning?"  
  
"Meaning, I've talked the company into letting me work with Shannon on his matches for a while," Adam's grin grew wider, more like the shit-eating grin Edge would give in the ring. "They think I can refine his already awesome aerial moves and I can work with the trainers on the road to finish bringing my neck up to full strength."  
  
"That sounds like a win-win idea," Terry smiled.  
  
"Hey, Adam," Shannon called. "We're just about done. You three want to see the finished plan?"  
  
"Yeah," Adam called back. "Let her rip."  
  
Shannon and Nunzio got into their starting positions and locked up. Chris and Terry helped Adam critique and tighten a few spots that looked iffy. By the time the match was through the small blond ran through all of the new tricks Adam had taught him, plus a few more from Rhyno and the Rabid Wolverine. The match looked awesome to the tall blond Canadian.  
  
"That was great!" Chris exclaimed, clapping both cruiserweights on the shoulder as they left the ring. "Beautiful suplexes, man!"  
  
"Thanks," Nunzio grinned in response. "Shannon's getting good at taking them, too."  
  
"Funny," the small blond cocked an eyebrow.  
  
"Who's hungry?" Terry asked.  
  
"I'm guessing you," Chris laughed. "Anyone else want to come?"  
  
"I've got to meet up with Chuck," Nunzio said apologetically. "Rain check?"  
  
"Sure," Terry shrugged and the small Italian walked away. "What about you two."  
  
"Can you wait a few minutes while I shower?" Shannon looked up uncertainly.  
  
"Yes, we can," Adam smiled reassuringly. "Take your time. We'll be here."  
  
"Thanks, Adam," Shannon grinned back and loped into the locker room.  
  
"Yeah, you're definitely a positive influence," Chris nodded to the tall blond.  
  
******************************  
  
NOTE: I've changed things up a bit. I noticed it would be too obvious to have Matt pining for Jay. (I hate to be predictable. LOL) So, I have another in mind for him, but that doesn't mean he'll necessarily end up with him. I'm letting this story guide me as I write it. Though Adam will still very definitely be into Shannon. How'm I doing? 


	4. Trust me

Shannon put his ring wear away in his bag after his shower and dragged a brush through his still-wet hair. He'd already dressed in his street clothes. Adam was on the other side of the locker room talking to Rey Mysterio, probably just waiting for Shannon to let him know he was done. It was kind of weird traveling with his ex-lover's friend, but not in a bad way. Adam didn't take sides and wasn't pressing Shannon for the story behind his relationship with Matt. He'd just told Shannon that if he felt like talking about it, he would be happy to listen and that whatever was said stayed between the two of them. That's all.  
  
It was nice not to have worry about making sure he was happy, too. Matt had always been so moody and needy that Shannon didn't have time for most of his friends when they started dating. It was surprising, when he thought about that, since Matt took every opportunity to remind Shannon that their relationship was only casual, then demanded the smaller man spend every waking minute with him. But Shannon had given up on trying to explain the inner workings behind Matt Hardy's behavior. Their time together was over. Abruptly. Matt made the decision to start things and he ended them, too. Shannon sighed sadly as he tied his hair back into a ponytail. He hated that he couldn't stop thinking about it.  
  
"You okay, Shan?" Adam's deep voice interrupted his thoughts.  
  
"Yeah," Shannon replied summoning up as convincing a smile as he could. "Just tied the hair too tight at first."  
  
Adam nodded skeptically. Rey walked over to them and sat down on the bench near Shannon's bag.  
  
"Hey, you boys coming out for a late dinner with us tonight?" the small Latino asked.  
  
"Not me," Shannon said turning back to his bag. "You should go, though, Adam."  
  
"Nah," the Canadian shook his head. "My neck is getting stiff. I think I'm just going to put a heating pad on it for a while."  
  
"You sure?" Shannon asked, surprised that Adam wanted to stay in with him instead of hanging out with the guys.  
  
"Yeah," Adam nodded. "Well pick up take out on the way back, okay?"  
  
"That sounds good."  
  
"Okay, kill-joys," Rey grinned. "I guess I'll let it slide this time." He hopped up off the bench and ran out to find his friends.  
  
Shannon shoved more of his things into his bag and contemplated the large man he was left with. He sure hoped Adam didn't have an agenda here, as the small blond was weary of filling the voids in his lovers' lives. Matt hadn't been the first to use Shannon for sex while wishing for someone else. There had been others. Like Evan, who used him to get close to Shane and dumped him when Shane made it clear he wanted nothing to do with Evan. And then there was Kanyon, who wanted someone to help him get over Juvi. As soon as Kanyon did, Shannon was found him in bed with Mike Awesome. Maybe there was something about him that made others want to use him and toss him aside. He certainly couldn't find any other explanation for the trend. Jeff would yell at him when he said this so he stopped bringing it up when they talked.  
  
But Adam had a past, too, and Jeff had filled him in on it over the years. Adam and Jay were best childhood friends turned lovers. Jeff remembered many a night when he opened his hotel room door to find a crying Jay. Adam remained as emotionally distant as ever, even thought they were away from home and family and among other homosexual couples at work. Shannon felt sad for Jay and wasn't surprised when Jeff told him the couple broke up, Jay finally feeling he had no options left for him.  
  
Now here Adam was with Shannon, and though he hadn't made any moves on him, the smaller blond hadn't missed the covert glances he was receiving when Adam thought he wasn't paying attention. He was still hurt and confused over Matt and didn't need another man moving right in to pick up where the older Hardy had left off. But Adam didn't do that. He seemed to accept that Shannon controlled what happened next and that was fine by the small blond. It felt oddly liberating.  
  
"I'm ready to go," Shannon smiled holding up the car keys. Adam grinned and followed him out the door.  
  
****************************  
  
Adam munched on his hamburger and fries quietly while Shannon clicked the stations on the TV in an attempt to find something interesting. He smiled in amusement as the small blond grunted in defeat, tossing the remote onto his bed and grabbing a handful of his own fries. Shannon was apparently the definition of instant gratification. If he couldn't find what he wanted right away, he gave up. It said a lot about the man. As annoying as others may find that trait, Adam liked it. It suited his own patient persona perfectly.  
  
"Nothing good, huh?" Adam asked.  
  
"Nope," Shannon replied dejectedly.  
  
"The TV have a DVD player?" the blond Canadian asked in as disinterested a tone as he could manage.  
  
"Yeah," Shannon sighed. "A DVD/VCR combo, but the video store's closed by now."  
  
"Yeah, I guess," Adam sighed. "Good thing I checked the place out this afternoon, huh?" He held up a small case containing The Ring, a movie he was sure Shannon liked considering the younger man's penchant for thrillers and horror movies.  
  
"You did?" Shannon exclaimed happily, jumping off his own bed and grabbing the case Adam held out to him. "You even got a good one! Adam, how did you know?"  
  
"I know you like those kinds of films," the tall blond shrugged. "I knew there probably wouldn't be anything good on tonight by the time we got back, so I made sure we were prepared."  
  
Shannon just sat back on his bed and stared at him.  
  
"What?" Adam asked suddenly feeling self-conscious.  
  
"Just that no one usually bothers to worry about what I'd like to do," Shannon answered sadly. "I'm just surprised."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Shannon shrugged. Adam stopped eating and crossed his arms over his chest waiting for an answer. He wanted Shannon to open up, but not just because he was curious. If Shannon exorcised some of his demons, maybe he wouldn't look so sad all the time.  
  
"Can I ask you something?" the small blond suddenly spoke up.  
  
Adam nodded.  
  
"What's going on here?" Shannon gestured around the room to indicate he meant the two of them. "I mean really. You and I rarely ever spoke before you left and now we're traveling together like a couple of good friends."  
  
"That's what I'd like us to be," Adam replied, losing himself in the intense green gaze trained on him right now. God, Shannon's eyes were gorgeous. But he had to focus on the conversation right now. He'd only scare the smaller man away if he made a move now. This is where the patience comes in.  
  
"Well, so would I," Shannon said with a look of relief. Then he bowed his head and studied his clasped hands in his lap. "It's just that, and please don't take this badly if I'm wrong, if you're only hanging around me to get me into bed, I'm afraid I can't oblige you right now."  
  
Adam's heart wrenched when he heard those words. He realized that that's exactly what the small blond would be expecting from anyone spending time with him right now, as Matt's leaving had pretty much spoken volumes to the rest of the roster: Shannon was good for a casual fling, but not good enough for Matt Hardy. Anyone who didn't know the small blond would probably assume that he was a slut and that Adam was only after his turn with him.  
  
"I don't know what you want from me," Shannon went on. "And I'm afraid that I'll start believing we're friends only to be faced with the choice of sleeping with you or being left alone again."  
  
"I'm not Matt," Adam said carefully, with no hint of malice at all. "I'm not going to lie to you and say I'm not attracted to you, Shan. I am. Very attracted. But I'm also not going to push you into something you're not ready for or you don't want. If all we can ever be is friends, I can deal. And I won't leave you all alone because of it either."  
  
"But you want something."  
  
"But I'm more interested in what you want," Adam replied. "I get the feeling you're not used to that, so here's how it works. You determine what you want and that's what we do."  
  
Shannon looked up in surprise but said nothing. His big green eyes were filled with fascination though.  
  
"I will never push you for something you don't want," Adam repeated. "And I will always, always be your friend."  
  
"But Jay," Shannon whispered then clamped his mouth closed.  
  
Adam grimaced but kept calm. What happened with his relationship with Jay was a mistake and he took full responsibility for it. He let something beautiful die. But he wouldn't let his past cloud his future.  
  
"I know I made mistakes with Jay," Adam said making sure he didn't break eye contact. It was important that Shannon understand him. "I don't pretend it wasn't my fault. I was too scared and by the time I was comfortable with myself, it was already too late. There's way too much water under that bridge. I won't make excuses for that. I know I have a lot to make up to him, but I only want his friendship back Shannon. I'm not interested in restarting anything with him. And I'm sure he wouldn't be interested either."  
  
"Don't be so sure," Shannon said sadly. "He still calls Jeff and Jeff told me he isn't interested in anyone else."  
  
Well that took Adam by surprise. That Shannon was interested enough to ask Jeff about him was a good sign, but Adam refused to read too much into it. He'd wanted to be with Shannon for so long, he wouldn't think of doing anything to jeopardize their fragile friendship. And now he knew that Jay was still thinking of him. Well, he couldn't help but wonder what might have been. But he wasn't in love with Jay anymore and his feelings for Shannon far overshadowed the past. But it appears that Shannon would need time to trust him.  
  
"Then I'm sorry I'll be disappointing him," Adam sighed. "I can't make myself feel something that's gone."  
  
"Even if I only want to be friends with you?" Shannon asked.  
  
"Even then," Adam nodded. "I miss Jay as a best friend, Shannon. But I don't want to get back together with him romantically."  
  
Shannon watched him for a few long minutes then nodded solemnly and picked up the DVD again. He went to the TV and inserted it in the player, grabbing the remote on his way back to his bed.  
  
"I do want to be friends with you, Adam," he said before turning on the player. "But I can't promise anything more right now."  
  
Adam smiled and nodded at the small blond then settled back to watch the film. At least they cleared the air a little now and could go back to getting to know each other better.  
  
****************************  
  
NOTE: Ah, another look into the minds of our heroes. Poor Shannon. I didn't want his feelings to go unnoticed so I decided this chapter would be all about him and how Adam reassures him. Did I do a good job? 


	5. Matt's plan

"Hey, wake up, lazy!"  
  
Shannon laughed as Adam turned over and opened one sleepy eye at him. After their talk last night, the small blond felt much better. It was nice not to have to constantly watch what he said and "walk on eggshells" around his travel buddy. And Adam didn't snore as much as Matt either. This was another good thing. Shannon couldn't remember how many nights he'd lost sleep over Matt's rattling. He shook his head and smiled as Adam stretched and sat up in his bed.  
  
"Are you always this chipper in the morning?" he grunted at Shannon, who laughed again.  
  
"Not always," the small blond. "It's a recent occurrence."  
  
"That's good to hear," Adam grinned. "What's today's schedule look like?"  
  
"Well, we have to drive about a couple of hundred miles to the next house show," Shannon said, knitting his brows together as he squinted at the schedule. Why couldn't they use a normal sized font for these things? "It looks like mostly straight highway driving, so it shouldn't be too bad. We need to be there before six."  
  
"Hmm," Adam mumbled. "Well, it's nine now."  
  
"Which gives you an hour to get ready before checkout," Shannon pointed out. He was always punctual about checking out but Matt would take his time, complicating Shannon's day when he had to convince the clerks not to charge them extra for late checkout. The company frowned on that habit and Shannon was too new to make a bad impression this early in his employment.  
  
"Yeah, good point," Adam smiled. "Thanks for letting me sleep in as long as you could though. My neck feels better this morning."  
  
"No problem," Shannon replied, relieved that he wasn't going to have to plead with the tall blond. "We can get breakfast downstairs with some of the guys before we go."  
  
"And you could use some," Adam smirked. "I can hear your stomach growling from here."  
  
"I guess my metabolism woke up early this morning," Shannon shrugged.  
  
"You could just go down without me," Adam replied as he got out of bed and ambled into the bathroom. "I'll catch up with you as soon as I get our stuff together."  
  
"I'll wait," Shannon sat back and picked up the remote. It would give him time to check out some of the extras on The Ring DVD before they returned it. He liked all of those behind the scenes interviews and information.  
  
"That's cool," Adam called from the bathroom with a toothbrush in his mouth.  
  
**********************************  
  
Adam dressed quickly and shut his suitcase. He never really unpacked when he traveled with the company, which used to annoy Jay to no end. He would complain about having to help Adam iron out some of the clothes before they went out. But Adam couldn't see the sense in unpacking and hanging everything one night only to have to pack it and refold it the next morning, especially if he didn't wear it. Jay could be anal sometimes.  
  
Shannon hadn't unpacked either, so Adam could see his habits were similar to his own. The small blond was just returning the DVD to its case when Adam zipped up his bag. Adam grinned to himself again. He was so glad Shannon liked the movie. The kid needed something to pick his spirits up. And Adam had learned more about him, too. Namely, that no one bothered to worry about his interests. That had really pissed off the tall Canadian. Matt had been a good friend of his and he thought he knew him. How could he use the kid and ignore his interests like that? Either Adam didn't know him as well as he thought he did, or people truly did change. Whatever the reason, Adam couldn't imagine what it was like for Shannon all those months as Matt's, well, toy was the only term Adam could come up with.  
  
"Brian and Paul asked if they could ride with us. I said it would be fine," he told Shannon as they picked up their bags and exited the room. Shannon blanched and Adam almost laughed out loud. "What's wrong?"  
  
"What happened to their rental car?" the small blond asked crossing his arms as they waited for the elevator.  
  
"Brian said Paul had a concussion from his last match and that would mean he wouldn't be able to drive," Adam explained, amused by Shannon's reaction and more than a little puzzled. He thought the three were friends.  
  
"And we're the ONLY car available?" the small Southerner grunted. "They couldn't ask Jamie and Nidia or Rey and Tajiri? They couldn't check the trains?"  
  
"Shannon, what's the problem?" Adam laughed as they got on the elevator and he pushed the Lobby button. Shannon's annoyance was growing and Adam's curiosity was piqued.  
  
"They are going to spend the entire time on the road making out in our back seat," Shannon sighed. "Haven't you learned anything about those two yet? They use any excuse they can to get into other people's cars so they don't have to drive. This way they can keep their hands on each other."  
  
"Are you serious?" Adam asked, almost going off into another fit of laughter. He hadn't heard about that but then he hadn't had enough time to ask about the relationship dynamics backstage yet.  
  
"Yes," Shannon seethed. "They probably came to you because you didn't know about it. Damn it. I have to spend four plus hours in a car with the porno princes. This is just great!"  
  
He skulked over to the reception desk in annoyance, missing Adam's attempt to hold back his hysterical laughter.  
  
**********************************  
  
Matt watched Lance from across the locker room with a deep frown. This was the man standing between him and his love. The stocky, brawny Canadian said something to Triple H and they both laughed heartily. Matt stood back and observed them closely. His love was in the ring right now so Matt could watch Lance undisturbed. Undisturbed that is, except for Jay.  
  
"What's going on, man?" the portrayer of Christian asked seriously.  
  
"Nothing," Matt replied not taking his eyes off the men.  
  
"Why are you watching Lance?" Jay continued relentlessly. "Look, he's a friend and I don't want to have to choose sides between either of you, so if you jumped over just to try to break them up, I suggest you rethink those plans."  
  
Matt looked at Jay in irritation. They'd been friends for a long time now and it always unnerved him when the blond saw right through him. He knew he would have to do some convincing to get Jay on his side. And he needed him onboard for the plan to work.  
  
"Look, I can't stop thinking about him, Jay," Matt sighed and slumped down onto a bench in defeat. "I've tried everything, including jumping to Smackdown, but he's still on my mind. Every day, he's on my mind."  
  
"Have you tried looking for another relationship?" Jay crossed his arms over his chest and regarded Matt stoically.  
  
"What do you think I was doing with Shannon?"  
  
"According to Jeff, you were using him to pretend he was someone else and hurting him in the process."  
  
"I wasn't lying to him," Matt insisted.  
  
"No," Jay nodded. "You made sure he was always well aware that he wasn't good enough to have a place in your heart."  
  
"I never meant to hurt him, Jay."  
  
"But you couldn't have him think he was important to you, could you?" the blond Canadian raised an eyebrow. "So you kept telling him you didn't love him but used his body for your own 'needs.' Is that it?"  
  
"Why is this so personal for you?"  
  
"Because it is personal, Matt," Jay said, now evidently equally annoyed as the older Hardy. "I know EXACTLY how Shannon feels right now. I also know I somehow figure into your little game and I'm telling you right now I'm not playing. Not only because Lance is my friend, but because you hurt Shannon in a manner I'm all too familiar with and I don't like it."  
  
Jay pushed himself away from the wall he was leaning against and stalked off angrily, leaving a stunned Matt Hardy in his wake. Matt stared after him for a moment then returned his eyes to Lance. Jay may not be willing to play right now, but he would later. After he calmed down and Matt had a chance to lay out the parameters for him, he knew Jay wouldn't be able to say no, because the Canadian would have a stake in the outcome, too. Matt knew Jay was still in love with his former tag partner. He also knew that was the reason Jay hadn't been dating. There'd been no shortage of potential partners, either. Guys from Randy Orton to Booker T have flirted with the Canadian, but something held him back. And Matt knew what. He'd promise Jay he would deliver his precious Adam if the plan succeeded. And it would. Matt banked everything on it.  
  
**********************************  
  
NOTE: Bad Matty! *GRIN* Thanks for the reviews. I live for them. I love them! 


	6. Tick tock, Jay!

Jay stormed back into his and Matt's hotel room in a huff. He knew Matt was going to try to involve him in some stupid plan to break up his friends' relationship. He just knew it. Matt had something going on and there was no way he'd take no for an answer, too. And Jay suspected what he'd hold out as a bargaining chip. Adam. If Matt thought Jay couldn't figure him out, he was dead wrong. Jay lay on his bed and propped his head up on his interlaced fingers.  
  
Adam. Jay sighed. He missed his best friend turned lover more than he could admit. He'd done everything he could think of to get over him, too. He'd even changed shows. It was hard to watch Adam break away from him so easily and get the push they'd both been dreaming of since they started training. It was even harder to accept that he would have to play the company clown for a while, when Adam was getting championship title shots. Thankfully, Chris Jericho had teamed with him when he thought he was ready to call it quits. Chris explained that he'd been the company clown almost from the beginning and didn't get his own serious pushes until much later.  
  
Still, Jay stopped watching Smackdown. Not only because he was jealous of Adam's pushes but also because he was jealous of the guys Adam was supposedly seeing. Oh, Jay couldn't be sure Adam was really going out with all of the guys who claimed to have been with him. And he certainly wasn't going to ask him, either. They hadn't spoken more than a few casual words to each other since the tag team break and those were only in the hallways at the joint pay-per-views.  
  
Jay was still hurting over the last months of their relationship. He'd tried everything to find out where he truly stood with Adam. He asked, pleaded, begged, they fought. He demanded that they come out of the closet, at least backstage. Adam wouldn't budge though. He always said he couldn't risk his family finding out. It made Jay feel unimportant, like a second choice to be used until something acceptable came along. That's why he gave Adam that final ultimatum. Either they start acting like a committed couple or they break it off. As sad as Adam looked, he chose the latter. And Jay moved out of their house immediately following that conversation.  
  
When Adam had surgery, Jay had wanted so badly to be there or to at least call him. Jeff had said that even though they'd broken up, they should try to maintain their friendship. But it hurt Jay too much to think of being near Adam without being able to touch him or kiss him. The pain had lessened over the past year, but it was still there. So Jay did the only thing he could think of and sent Adam a card and a "Get Well" basket. Adam had dutifully sent a "Thank You" note. Everything was cordial, but no feelings were actually shared. It left Jay feeling sad and empty inside.  
  
Matt walked into the room and quietly sat down on his own bed. Jay didn't acknowledge him at all. He just kept staring up at the ceiling. Why was he doing this now? Jay was so confused. He missed Adam but he didn't want any part of a plan to trick the tall blond into coming back to him. It just seemed so wrong. And where would that leave Lance?  
  
"You have to talk to me some time," Matt drawled softly.  
  
Jay turned his head finally to meet Matt's deep, dark gaze. If he didn't have that calculating glint in his eye, Jay would describe the older Hardy as very attractive. But Jay hated subterfuge and that took the attraction down a few levels.  
  
"Why are you doing this?" he finally asked Matt.  
  
"I can't not at least try to get him, Jay," Matt sighed. "I would always wonder what might have happened."  
  
"No matter who you hurt in the process?"  
  
"I don't want to hurt anyone," Matt shrugged. "But I can't just drop this."  
  
"He loves Lance."  
  
"Maybe," Matt said quirking his eyebrows up. "But if he does then my plan won't work anyway."  
  
"But either way it will kill my friendship with Lance."  
  
"Lance will never know."  
  
"How can you guarantee that?" Jay asked nonplussed. "I suck at lying and Lance isn't an idiot. He will know."  
  
"Isn't that a risk you're willing to take?"  
  
"For you?" Jay sat up sharply. "No!"  
  
"Not for me," Matt smirked. "For Adam."  
  
"You can't guarantee that either!"  
  
"Can't I?" Matt asked. "Right now he's traveling with my ex-lover, who is still very much hung up on me."  
  
"Adam's chasing Shannon?" Jay felt his heart constrict. He knew Adam would eventually date again, maybe even had. He just never wanted to know the details about it.  
  
"Uh huh," Matt continued. "What do you think will happen if I suddenly 'have a change of heart' and go back to Shannon? He's in love with me. He'll come back to me. Where does that leave Adam?"  
  
"That's sadistic!" Jay felt ill. "How can you do that to the poor kid? Do you have any humanity left in you at all?"  
  
"Not when I want something," Matt said looking unapologetic. "And I want something badly right now."  
  
"Did you plan this all along?" Jay suddenly asked softly. "You did, didn't you? Oh, my God. You've been playing this kid the whole time you were seeing him. You son of a bitch!"  
  
"Tick tock, Jay Jay," Matt answered. "I have a goal to achieve and I won't start feeling sorry for what I did now."  
  
"And what about your so-called love?" Jay demanded. "What do you think he'll do when he finds out you're back with Shannon?"  
  
"He won't," Matt said confidently. "I'll tell Shannon we need to keep it quiet. String him along for a couple of weeks, then cut away again."  
  
"And what about Shannon?" Jay practically screamed. "What happens to him after you dump him again and completely destroy him this time. Because that's what you'll do to him, Matt. You never seemed like a heartless bastard before. What happened to you?"  
  
"I found something worth changing for," Matt replied. "Now, decide. Save Shannon? Get Adam back with you? He's not as remote as he used to be, you know. He told me he regrets what he did to you."  
  
Jay began to tremble with bottled emotion. Matt could be lying to him to get his way, but somehow, Jay knew he wasn't. He knew Matt was telling the truth about Adam because he'd seen the regret in the tall blond's eyes the last time he saw him. But what about Shannon? He didn't really know the kid, but he didn't want to see Matt sacrifice him for this crazy plan.  
  
The phone rang as the two stared each other down. Matt smiled and picked it up before Jay could will his legs to move.  
  
"Hello?" he said into the receiver while his dark eyes remained trained on Jay. "Yeah, I was just about to tell him." A second or two of silence as he listened to the caller. "Yeah, I'm sure he'll want to go, if for no other reason than to keep an eye on me," Matt laughed. Another moment of silence. "Okay, see you in a few, Lance."  
  
Matt hung up the phone as Jay's blood ran cold. Lance? Oh, shit. Matt already set his plan in motion. And now Jay had only moments to decide. Adam or Shannon? Shannon or Adam? Shit! The poor kid. But he was with Adam right now. But he didn't know what was going on and he was still hurting from what Matt did. He probably would go back to Matt when he showed up in his life again.  
  
"This is so wrong!" he yelled at the calmly waiting Southerner.  
  
"Boo hoo," Matt sighed. "Look, I do feel bad. I really didn't mean for him to get hurt, but this is the only real way to ensure the plan works for both of us."  
  
"I never asked you to do this!" Jay replied.  
  
"Lance and Shawn are waiting for us downstairs," Matt said getting up. "I guess I could go it alone tonight."  
  
God knows what the hell Matt would do if Jay let that happen. Shannon or Adam? Adam or Shannon? Tick tock. Matt was moving toward the door. Jay's heart was pounding. Matt opened the door.  
  
"Wait," Jay said, suddenly resigning himself. "Just give me a second to fix my hair."  
  
Matt grinned and let the door close, settling himself on the end of Jay's bed to wait.  
  
******************************  
  
The man in the next room let out a tortured breath. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Hell, it was hard not to hear. Matt just literally forced Jay into helping him break up one of their best friend's relationships. He also knowingly and deliberately used Shannon before he left Smackdown and he intended to do it again. The small blond would never survive another round with Matt. Jay had said it succinctly before. This just wasn't right. Something had to be done to stop it. He had no choice but to call in the big guns on this one. He started dialing quickly. The other line was picked up on the first ring.  
  
"Jeff?" he asked to make sure he got the person he needed. "We have big trouble."  
  
******************************  
  
NOTE: HAPPY THANKSGIVING! I realize that holidays are not always happy for those who have lost loved ones. (HD, you're in my thoughts.) To those, I say: I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you can try to find some way to get through the holidays as best as you can. 


	7. Drat! Foiled again!

Shannon glared into the rearview mirror and sighed again. Adam was sitting in the passenger's seat grinning like an idiot. And Paul and Brian were going at it like a couple of rabbits in the backseat. When the shirts started coming off about fifty miles ago, the small blond had to put his foot down, figuratively speaking. He ordered them to remain clothed or walk to the arena. Adam had to stifle a fit of hysterics while he did it, too. It was too funny to watch. It seemed that now that Shannon was rediscovering his comfort zone, since Matt was no longer around to be catered to, the small Southerner was reasserting himself on his fellow travelers. Adam took it as a good sign.  
  
Adam thought back to that morning's breakfast with the other stars before they left. Benoit and Terry had observed Shannon's behavior with interest as the small blond told them all about Adam's mistake in letting the "porno princes" into their car. When Shannon snapped open his menu in disgust the other three men exchanged amused and approving glances. It was good to see him worrying about something other than Matt Hardy.  
  
Adam had taken the first driving shift in the car, taking them just over the hundred-mile mark of their trip before stopping for lunch in a nondescript diner that had decent food. Adam was surprised that Paul and Brian unlocked their lips long enough to eat. When they got back to the car, Shannon didn't even ask either of the other two to take a turn behind the wheel. He just took the keys from Adam stoically and gave the other two pointed stares in the mirror before starting the engine. Paul and Brian just smiled innocently at them until they hit the highway. Then the lips relocked and the touching commenced.  
  
Adam knew that under normal circumstances, Shannon wouldn't have felt so annoyed. The two lovers in the backseat reminded the small man of his broken relationship and no matter how much progress he and Adam made over the last week, it was still too soon for Shannon to feel comfortable around happy couples. It was only natural. Adam had felt the same way when he and Jay first parted. It was strange and new. It took a while before Adam finally became comfortable on his own again. He imagined Shannon would have to go through the process himself.  
  
He looked over at the small blond and smiled. Shannon attempted to smile back but a moan from the back quickly turned it into a scowl. Adam shrugged and popped one of Shannon's CDs into the player. At least they could try to drown out the sounds.  
  
********************************  
  
"Are you sure about what you heard?" Jeff asked for the second time. He couldn't believe his brother would try something so low down and dirty. And with Jeff's best friend, too. This really lit the younger Hardy's anger.  
  
"I know what I heard," the caller responded. "Jay wanted no part of it, either, but Matt had already set up dinner with Lance and Shawn and threatened to go alone."  
  
"Well, that helps explain why Jay caved," Jeff replied. "He was never very good under pressure."  
  
"We can't let Matt screw with Shannon like that again. It's not right."  
  
"Yeah, and there's no shortage of guys that will kill Matt for it, too," Jeff agreed. "Me being number one on the list. I can't believe he would be so selfish."  
  
"It looks like he's changed a little, man," the other guy said. "I'm sorry. I know he's your brother, but he really is a snake these days."  
  
"Tell me about it. No wonder he doesn't visit me very often when he's home."  
  
"You're the only one I could think of to call with this," the man replied. "It's a shame he's so obnoxious now. I always thought he was cute."  
  
"Really?" Jeff asked, filing that bit of knowledge away. "I didn't know that. Anyway, we have to save Jay, Adam and Shannon from Matt, and Matt from himself."  
  
"You think we should warn Adam and Shannon?"  
  
"And tell them what?" Jeff wondered. "'Matt's coming'? 'Go hide'? Even if they took us seriously, we have nothing more to go on than a mysterious plan to break up Lance and Shawn and Matt's intention to show up on Shannon's doorstep one day. We need to find out more."  
  
"Well, we should at least warn Lance and Shawn."  
  
"That we should do," Jeff agreed. "But only after I talk to Jay."  
  
"Are you kidding? He's with Matt on this."  
  
"Not willingly," Jeff pointed out. "At least not yet. I want to see what he has to say in his own defense before I kill his friendship with Lance. He deserves that much at least. I also can't believe he'd want to sacrifice that and Shannon's remaining self respect for a shot at getting Adam back. It doesn't sound like him."  
  
"Well, we all thought we knew Matt and look what happened," the other man sighed. "Anyway, what do you want me to do?"  
  
"For now, you shadow my brother," Jeff instructed. "I don't want him to know I'm onto him and you're going to help me hide from him while I meet with Jay."  
  
"Okay, your call," the caller replied. "I'll take a few of the guys downstairs for dinner and 'bump' into them to keep Matt from getting anywhere until we know what's going on."  
  
"Good idea," Jeff said, already logging onto his computer to reserve a flight. "But don't tell them what's up. And stay in touch."  
  
"You got it."  
  
The phone went silent and Jeff made his arrangements quickly then packed a small bag. He left a message for his father to feed his pets while he went on a last minute trip for 'band business' that couldn't wait, and grabbed his keys. It was definitely going to be an interesting trip.  
  
********************************  
  
"So, how do you like being back on Raw?" Lance asked Matt as they settled into the table.  
  
Matt took his menu and shot Jay a quelling glance. The Canadian looked like he was attending a wake instead of a dinner with friends. This wouldn't help Matt's progress. He knew Jay would be slow on accepting his place in the plan, but Matt intended to plow through with it until the Canadian had no choice but to follow.  
  
"It's good to be live again," Matt grinned. "I liked Smackdown, but there's such a rush about going live, you know?"  
  
"Yeah," Shawn nodded. "I know exactly what you mean."  
  
"Hey, Jay," Lance looked concerned. "Why do you look so down?"  
  
"Oh, I'm just tired," the blond responded. "Sorry. Matt snores like a jackhammer and I haven't slept too well since he got back."  
  
"Ha ha," Matt gave him a withering look. "You hog all the hot water, so we're even."  
  
"Now, now, boys," Shawn laughed. "Simmer down."  
  
"Hey, guys!" a shout from the entrance drew Matt's attention. He looked over at the advancing group and let out an exasperated sigh, which he'd quickly covered with his menu. Where did they come from and why the hell were they all coming over? "Mind if we join you?" Andrew Martin asked, as he pulled over a chair for his girlfriend, Stacy Keibler.  
  
"No, come on in!" Lance exclaimed. "We just sat down."  
  
"Yeah," said a suddenly smiling Jay. "We can push these two tables together."  
  
"Don't mind if we do," Chris Jericho, piped in, helping Jay push the tables together.  
  
Matt looked at Jay warningly but the Canadian just shrugged. Matt knew he couldn't have called anyone because they'd been together from the time they argued in the room, so he couldn't accuse him of this. But the meeting was too coincidental to sit right with Matt. He glanced around the table in resignation and pasted a smile on his lips. Jericho, Drew, Stacy, Shane Helms and Rob Van Dam all smiled back expectantly.  
  
"Waiter," Matt called. "These people will be joining us. Can we please have some more menus?"  
  
"Such a gentleman," Stacy grinned then turned to Drew. "I didn't think they'd mind if we crashed their party."  
  
"Not at all," Shawn said smoothly. "It's always a pleasure to be in your company, Ms. Keibler."  
  
Stacy giggled and Matt ground his teeth to keep from rolling his eyes. Normally he liked the diva but tonight he was impatient to get the ball rolling on his plan. He would have to delve deep into his patience reserves to keep his cool.  
  
"Hey, Matt," Shane grinned as he plunked down into a seat next to his. "I haven't been able to really talk to you since you got in. How do you like being here?"  
  
"I was just telling Shawn . . . and Lance, here, that it's great to be back on a live show."  
  
"You and I haven't really been able to work together for years," Shane continued. "Maybe we can get something going. You know, resurrect some of those old OMEGA matches."  
  
"Yeah, maybe," Matt laughed. He had missed hanging out with Shane. They'd been friends for years but being with separate companies, and then on separate WWE brands, left little time for them to get together.  
  
"Maybe there'll be a V-1 vs. RVD feud for the Intercontinental title," Rob interjected.  
  
"Hey, that's MY belt," Jay laughed.  
  
Matt sighed in defeat but kept grinning. His plan would have to wait at least for tonight.  
  
********************************  
  
NOTE: I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! Here's another chapter. And thanks for updating your story, HD! I missed it. 


	8. Answer me!

Jeff checked into the hotel as soon as he arrived. Since it was three in the morning, he wasn't worried about running into Matt in the hallways. He went directly to his room and collapsed on the bed. Boy, he was tired. He hadn't traveled too much since his departure from the company and he'd forgotten all of his travel traumas in the meantime. Well, he'd certainly been reminded of them now. Who brings a screaming baby on a redeye flight? A couple of nitwits, that's who. And they had to be sitting right in front of him, of course! His hotel phone rang suddenly, jarring him out of his thoughts.  
  
"Hello?" he asked cautiously. Who would be calling? With his luck probably the screaming kid.  
  
"Finally!" an excited man said on the other end.  
  
"What are you still doing up?"  
  
"Like I can sleep with all this cloak and dagger shit going on!" the man growled. "I'm not used to the secret agent life."  
  
"I guess not," Jeff laughed. "Everything go well tonight?"  
  
"Yeah, we stopped whatever was going to happen," the guy sighed. "You should have seen the relief on Jay's face when he saw we were staying. He even helped Jericho push two tables together. Matt tried to be polite, but I could tell he was fuming."  
  
"Could anyone else?"  
  
"Nah. I knew what was going on, so it was easy for me to see through it."  
  
"How are Shawn and Lance?"  
  
"Fine," the man replied. "Like I said, we stopped whatever was going to happen before it happened."  
  
"Well, that's good," Jeff said tiredly. "What room are Matt and Jay staying in?"  
  
"Well, I'm in 406, so they're next door in 408."  
  
"Okay, Matt usually goes for a workout in the mornings," Jeff thought out loud. "If I can get to see Jay then, I would be able to talk to him while Matt's gone."  
  
"Well, I invited Matt to join a bunch of us tomorrow morning," the guy said, the smile he was wearing evident in his voice.  
  
"I thought you said you weren't used to the secret agent life," Jeff joked. "What about Jay?"  
  
"He said he was sleeping in to catch up on missed sleep."  
  
"I don't blame him," Jeff wrinkled his nose. "Matt snores like a six ton ape. You'll call me before he leaves the gym, right?"  
  
"Already planned to, 007."  
  
"Funny," Jeff laughed again. "Get some sleep."  
  
"Yes, sir!"  
  
***************************************  
  
Adam rubbed his neck then punched his pillow. He wasn't able to get comfortable tonight for some reason. Shannon was in the next bed, most likely asleep by now and Adam was doing his best not to wake the small blond. He turned over again and winced when a muscle tightened.  
  
"What's wrong, Ad?" the Southern accent called out from the darkness.  
  
Ad. It was too cute. Adam loved Shannon's nickname for him. It made him feel like they were really making progress on their friendship.  
  
"The neck is bugging me," he answered.  
  
"Want the heating pad?"  
  
"I was trying to avoid it."  
  
"Why?" Shannon demanded, switching on the light and glaring at Adam with sleep-filled eyes. "If you're hurting, it does you no good to be stubborn."  
  
"I know, but."  
  
"But nothing," Shannon got up and stalked over to Adam's bag and retrieving the heating pad. He plugged it into its power device and waited for it to heat up so he could bring it over to Adam.  
  
Adam watched meekly from his bed. He knew if he attempted to argue with Shannon it would do no good. Especially since the smaller man was right. Shannon was also immune to the usual excuses, too. Apparently Terry and Chris had warned the kid about Adam's stubborn streak. And with the day they'd just had riding with Brian and Paul, Adam knew Shannon was in the wrong mood to mess with.  
  
"I would have done it eventually," Adam finally sighed.  
  
"Why not when it first started?" Shannon asked unplugging the unit and bringing it over to place around Adam's neck. "You do want to come back, right?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Well, jeopardizing your recovery won't help you get there," Shannon said softly. "Look, I know it's none of my business but I think you're pushing your body too hard at a critical time and it's going to backfire on you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because your body can only handle so much."  
  
"No," Adam smiled. "Why do you think it's none of your business?"  
  
"Oh," the small blond blushed and looked away. "Because we're just barely friends. And because I haven't had enough injuries to know how you feel."  
  
"Is that what Matt would tell you when he got hurt?"  
  
Shannon nodded but didn't look back up at Adam. The tall Canadian's heart sank. Matt had done a hell of a lot more damage than he'd realized. The poor kid felt he shouldn't say anything to anyone with more experience in the business. He wondered for the millionth time what the hell the older Hardy had been thinking when he started the relationship with Shannon. It appeared he'd done nothing more than systematically tear down the kid's self-esteem.  
  
"Listen to me," Adam said quietly as he pulled Shannon's gaze back up to his own by gently grabbing the younger man's chin. "I'm not Matt. Nobody else I know is like him, either. We won't tell you to mind your own business if you're worried about how we take care of our injuries. I value your input and I'm grateful that you care enough to let me know when you think I'm pushing too hard."  
  
"You do?" Shannon looked perplexed.  
  
"I do," Adam smiled still holding the small man's chin and reveling in being able to touch him however slightly. "And another thing."  
  
Shannon's eyebrows rose slightly in question.  
  
"We're not 'barely friends' at this point," Adam grinned and let go of Shannon. "We're good friends."  
  
Shannon smiled and nodded. "I'm glad," he said simply.  
  
"So am I."  
  
***************************************  
  
Jay heard a knock on the door not five minutes after Matt left to work out. Thinking it was the older Hardy returning for something, like a forgotten key perhaps, he tiredly dragged himself to the door and pulled it open. He was stunned to find himself looking into the eyes of the younger Hardy instead.  
  
"Jeff?" he asked to make sure he wasn't still asleep.  
  
"It's me," Jeff replied, his face an unreadable mask. He pushed past the Canadian into the room and Jay let the door shut behind him.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"I might ask you the same question."  
  
Jay was really confused now and he didn't need this shit. First Matt emotionally blackmailed him into his stupid plan and now his brother was here answering all of his questions with riddles. Well this was going to stop. Jay wasn't amused.  
  
"Look, I'm having a very hard week," Jay said through gritted teeth. "So just tell me why you're here."  
  
"What do you think you're doing helping Matt break Lance and Shawn up?" Jeff demanded with equal ferocity. "Lance is one of your best friends!"  
  
How the hell did he know about that? Did Matt tell him? No, Matt couldn't have told him. Jeff wouldn't be here all pissed if Matt had cleared this plan with him.  
  
"I, uh."  
  
"You, uh, what, Jason?"  
  
"Look, I didn't want to do it!" Jay yelled back. "How the hell do you know about it anyway?"  
  
"I'm a fucking mind reader," Jeff growled. "That ain't the issue. I thought we were friends."  
  
"We are!" Jay insisted.  
  
"Then why are you working with Matt to destroy my best friend in the world?"  
  
"I had nothing to do with it!" Jay shrieked. "Matt did that all by himself and I wasn't going to let him go back and hurt Shannon again."  
  
Jeff raised a skeptical eyebrow.  
  
"I swear it, Jeff! I wasn't going to help him break Lance and Shawn up either! I was just buying time until I could figure out a way to stop him."  
  
"How about calling me?" Jeff asked softly. "Did that ever cross your mind, Jay? I am his brother. Lord knows I've had to save him from himself in the past. Wouldn't it have been logical?"  
  
"I would have called you!"  
  
"Bullshit!"  
  
"Jeff, I swear I would have!"  
  
"Oh, maybe you might have eventually," Jeff suggested. "But since Adam's with Shannon right now you might have decided to wait until after Matt broke them up first."  
  
"No! I wouldn't want Shannon to get used like that," Jay insisted, a small part of him feeling guilty as he doubted his own words. What the hell had he become since he left Adam? "I told Matt it wasn't right. I know Shannon wouldn't survive being used and dumped again. I swear, Jeff, I would have found a way to stop him."  
  
Jeff stared at him silently and Jay was cracking under the pressure. The younger Hardy could be so much more intense than the average person.  
  
"I believe you," Jeff finally said. "But now I need your help to stop him."  
  
"What can I do?" Jay asked hopefully, eager to prove himself to his friend.  
  
***************************************  
  
NOTE: I know I keep asking you how I'm doing, but I really want to know! Do you like this? What are your thoughts on the plotline? 


	9. Why are you such a bastard, Matt?

"Why are you so hyper?" Matt asked Jay an hour after he got back from his workout.  
  
When he'd left two hours earlier, Jay was lying in an unconscious heap on his bed. Now the blond Canadian was bouncing on the balls of his feet, fully dressed and ready for a day on the town. That's all he kept talking about since Matt returned. How they needed to go out on the town. The older Hardy couldn't understand why. They'd been to this place at least a dozen times. But Jay was adamant and Matt was in the mood to indulge him after he'd forced the Canadian to be an accessory to his plan. He'd just finished dressing after a quick shower and was grabbing a jacket.  
  
"A group of others will be coming, too," Jay smiled falling into step next to him.  
  
"Who all is going?"  
  
"The same crashers from last night," Jay shrugged. "Plus Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak. I think Trish and Amy will be there, too."  
  
"Trish and Amy?" Matt rolled his eyes. Amy was a very good friend of his and he didn't mind Trish, but ever since the two had hooked up outside the ring he found he didn't always enjoy being around them. Maybe it was because he was a gay man, but he found nothing attractive about two women showing their affection in public.  
  
"Hey, they ARE our friends, too, you know," Jay scowled. "Honestly, you can be such a wet blanket these days, Matt."  
  
"You sound like a nagging wife."  
  
"Well, sometimes you make me feel like one," Jay countered.  
  
"At least you're not mad at me anymore," Matt grinned as he pushed the elevator button.  
  
"Who says?" Jay smirked as he stepped onto the platform. "I've just decided to choose my battles more carefully."  
  
"Whatever," Matt sighed. The doors closed and the elevator began its slow descent. "Why aren't Lance and Shawn coming?"  
  
"I invited them," Jay shrugged. "They said they had a lunch date."  
  
"So, you're still onboard with this, then?"  
  
"You haven't exactly given me a choice, have you?" Jay growled. "I suggest we keep things cordial between us to make it easier on both of us."  
  
Matt looked at Jay sadly. He knew he'd taken a huge risk by forcing the blond man's compliance when it looked like he would refuse Matt's idea. He also knew that even if Jay did end up back in a relationship with Adam, he would probably never truly forgive Matt for making him betray Lance and for breaking Shannon's heart again.  
  
And Shannon. Matt knew that what Jay was probably true. The small blond would likely never recover from being dumped by Matt again. He still remembered Shannon's shocked and horrified phone call after seeing Matt's return to Raw. The pitiful sobs chilled the small part of Matt that still had a conscience. He would absolutely come back to Matt when the plan called for it. And he would be shattered when Matt left him after Adam was back with Jay.  
  
But Matt had spent so many long months festering and seething over his missed chance with Shawn. Going to Smackdown hadn't lessened the sting, either. Shawn and Matt had flirted on and off from the time the Heartbreak Kid made his return until Lance jumped to Raw and changed everything. Lance wasn't known for his subtlety. If he wanted something, he went after it and he wanted Shawn. Shawn apparently wanted him, too, because a couple of weeks later the two were together. Matt had decided to sit back and wait to see if the relationship would last. It did and Matt saw his chance to be with Shawn evaporate. Changing shows kept him from cracking completely.  
  
But he couldn't stop thinking about Shawn. And the more he thought about it, the more the plan to sever the two Raw stars developed in his mind. He knew he'd need an accomplice, but he also knew none would be willing to break up the happy couple. He needed to find someone just as unhappy, someone who would have something to gain. Jay was unhappy. His rocky relationship with Adam had been over for a while and yet he still looked as freshly traumatized as the day it happened.  
  
Adam had looked just as sad for the first six months. But curiously enough, he'd eventually learned to smile again. When Matt was traveling with the tall Canadian while he was in his first few months of Smackdown and before Adam left for surgery, he noticed the transformation. He also noticed the intense gazes Adam directed at Shannon when he was within observation range. Matt could see the crush developing, though Adam never said anything about it and was careful to veer the subject away from Shannon when they talked. Thinking he could gain more information, Matt had openly admitted to his feelings for a fellow Raw superstar, though he didn't name Shawn.  
  
Hence the plan to seduce and manipulate Shannon using the obvious and longtime crush the small blond harbored for Matt. It was more difficult to bed Shannon than the older Hardy thought it would be because the young man wanted a real relationship and Matt just didn't have room in his plans or heart for another man, though it didn't hurt that he reminded Matt of Shawn in a lot of ways. But Matt eventually succeeded in his quest and soon the small blond began to believe that his best friend's brother had his best interests at heart and wouldn't hurt him. He fell for Matt hard, just as Matt intended.  
  
All pangs of guilt were buried as Matt kept Shannon close to him and away from any outside interference. Matt had convinced Shannon not to heed Jeff's warnings and to even distance himself a bit from the younger Hardy. The phone calls became shorter and fewer, and Shannon would fight with Jeff whenever they discussed the relationship. Matt knew his brother would also not soon forgive him for what he did to Shannon, but Shawn was worth the sacrifice, wasn't he?  
  
Matt did all of this to provide Jay with a goal, an incentive to risk his own friendship with his fellow Canadian and help Matt break Shawn and Lance up. Soon after Matt left for Raw, Adam returned for promotional work and started traveling with Shannon. Matt assumed the others, and maybe even the small blond himself, informed Adam on what a bastard Matt had been to Shannon. He would be all protective and coddling to the small blond now. But Shannon, gun shy in the romance department to begin with, would be doubly wary and would remain aloof. Nothing further than friendship would happen there.  
  
When Lance and Shawn's relationship tanks, Matt will go back to the small blond and plead for another chance to make things right. Shannon was one of those guys who didn't have sex unless it meant something, so Matt was sure he loved him. The small blond could definitely be coerced back into Matt's arms, leaving Adam heartbroken. As much as Jay said he didn't want to manipulate Adam, he wouldn't be able to sit back and watch this unfold without trying to help his former lover and best friend. Adam would realize that his bond with Jay couldn't be broken and that Shannon probably just reminded him of Jay.  
  
But, what about Shannon? Matt didn't think the small blond was suicidal. He didn't get that vibe from him the last time they'd spoken. But he would undoubtedly lose that innate innocence he exuded to the world. It was probably best he do that anyway. Wouldn't that actually be to his benefit? Matt would wait for time to heal him then try to explain himself as best as he could, though he was sure he would have already ruined whatever friendship he'd had with the small blond for good. Maybe Jeff would step in and take care of him. Matt hated to leave his messes for his brother to clean up, but sometimes it couldn't be helped.  
  
It was too late to turn back now at any rate, for himself and for Jay. They had an unspoken agreement and they would see it through to the end. He looked at Jay now, standing defensively next to him, waiting for a response. The elevator eased to a stop and the doors opened.  
  
"Cordial is better than it was last night, I suppose," he answered as he stepped out of the car and walked with Jay to the group waiting in the lobby.  
  
**********************************  
  
NOTE: Well, I thought a look into Matt's huge cranium was overdue. He is a meanie, but he thinks he has his reasons. And there are some surprises in store for him and his unwilling accomplice before the roller coaster creaks to a halt. Thanks for all the reviews! To xtremediva: Are you trying to read my mind or am I just that transparent? Well, I won't be foiled! (LOL!) You've inspired a whole new plotline splinter! Mwahahahaha! (Okay, I'm terrible with the evil laugh, but I'm sure you get the picture! Thanks for inspiring me to keep a step ahead of your Mach-3 mind!) 


	10. Jeff pleads his case

Jeff watched the other couple at the table in the little café nervously. He didn't show his nerves outwardly, but he wasn't comfortable with the task at hand. They looked at him in confusion, no doubt surprised by his presence in a city several hundred miles away from his home, where he was supposed to be now that he didn't work for WWE anymore. He wondered for the hundredth time how to go about explaining a mild-mannered brother gone bad. He also felt as if he were betraying Matt. But he couldn't just stand back and allow this to happen. He also couldn't let Matt get away with what he did to Shannon. Jeff knew the small blond was hurt deeply by Matt's departure. He certainly wasn't going to just let Matt go back and do it again either.  
  
"So, Jeff," Shawn began. "What brings you out here?"  
  
Well, this is it, he thought. Might as well treat it like getting into a cold lake. Just jump right in and tell them.  
  
"Uh, I'm sure you're curious as to why I just called you two out of the blue like this," he responded, idly chipping at his dark blue nail polish. They looked back at him expectantly. "Well, Matt's why I'm here."  
  
"Matt?" Lance asked. "Is he in trouble? How can we help?"  
  
"Matt's not in trouble," Jeff sighed. "He's trying to CAUSE trouble."  
  
"For who?" Lance prodded.  
  
"For you."  
  
"Me?" Lance looked perplexed. "What did I do?"  
  
"You had the guts to go after something and Matt didn't," Jeff replied, hoping the silence would do the talking for him. Lance still looked confused but understanding dawned on Shawn's face and he flushed, looking down.  
  
"I'm not sure what you mean," Lance said. "I thought Matt and I got along well."  
  
"He means that Matt's jealous of us, sweetie," Shawn finally looked up.  
  
"What?" Lance looked at his lover in shock. "You mean you and Matt?"  
  
"No," Shawn sighed. "Not in that sense. Matt and I had a flirting game going before you and I started dating, but I never thought it was serious. He didn't make any moves beyond the casual touch or look."  
  
"Matt's like that," Jeff explained glumly. "He usually always lets the other guy make the first move when it comes to romantic stuff."  
  
"Well, anyway," Shawn continued, looking back at Lance. "Once you made your feelings known I knew we were meant to be together. I never thought anything more of flirting with other guys."  
  
"I should hope not!" Lance exclaimed indignantly.  
  
"So Matt came back to break us up?" Shawn directed his glance back to Jeff who nodded as he sat uneasily in his chair. "How?"  
  
"I'm a little vague on that part," Jeff admitted.  
  
"He told you what he was going to do, but not how?" Lance asked.  
  
"He didn't tell me anything," Jeff insisted. "But I do know he was supposed to coerce Jay into helping him."  
  
"Jay!" Lance blanched. "But he's one of my best friends! How could he do that to me?"  
  
"He couldn't," Jeff said in a placating manner. "I've already spoken to him this morning. He's working with me on stopping Matt."  
  
"And what are we going to do about Matt?" Lance seethed.  
  
"Look, I know you guys have every right to be upset with him," Jeff began.  
  
"Damn right!" they replied in unison.  
  
"But please try not to hate him," Jeff finished sadly. They both opened their mouths to speak but Jeff raised a hand to stop them. "I know there's no excuse for this. But this isn't like him. Trust me, I know. I'm his brother. Since our mama died, we've been inseparable. In fact, feel like this is my fault."  
  
"How the hell is this YOUR fault?" Lance demanded.  
  
"I left him," Jeff stated flatly. "By leaving the business, I made it so we wouldn't see each other too often anymore."  
  
"You did what you had to do, Rainbow," Shawn insisted. "I was there. I saw what was happening to you. And he left for Smackdown first."  
  
"He left because he was in pain, Shawn," Jeff looked into the older man's eyes. "He knew that once Lance moved over to Raw with Chris and Jay that your relationship would become serious and he couldn't watch that. I left for other reasons. The company even offered me a slot with Matt, but I turned them down, knowing he wouldn't have the same contact with me." Jeff hoped this partial answer would satisfy them, as he really didn't want to open up that particular can of worms. His reasons for leaving ran deeper than anyone knew.  
  
"I'm still not going to press you on what made you go," Shawn mumbled. "But you had to do it, Jeff. I know you were struggling with something and I can see that you're healing now."  
  
"Yeah, but Matt's suffered for it," Jeff waved an arm. "Look at what he's willing to do to two people we're good friends with. And what happened with Shannon." Jeff clamped his mouth closed. He and Jay decided that the couple needed to be warned, but they wouldn't tell them everything. That would lay waste to whatever sympathy they could feel for Matt and probably drive all of his other friends away, too.  
  
"What about Shannon?" Lance asked in a dangerously low voice. Jeff had forgotten that he and the small blond were good friends and had been since Shannon's debut in WCW. Lance looked out for him then, along with Shane. Jeff had a hard time with sharing his protective role in Shannon's life.  
  
"Nothing," Jeff said looking down.  
  
"Answer me," Lance warned. "He's my friend, too, Jeff."  
  
"Look, it's nothing too bad," Jeff began. "If it were, I'd have gone directly to Matt and busted him up myself. Shannon's like a brother to me."  
  
"Then you can tell him," Shawn reasoned.  
  
Jeff shook his head in misery. Damn fool mouth. Now he had to say something. But he couldn't tell them the whole truth. It was too awful for even Jeff to bear.  
  
"Matt had something going with Shannon before he left Smackdown," he finally told them. "When the company asked him if he would move to Raw, he broke things off with Shannon."  
  
"And broke his heart," Lance finished for him.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Shannon's always liked Matt, Jeff," the Canadian said sadly. "There was no other way for that story to end if he didn't feel the same way."  
  
"I fully intend to make sure Matt doesn't hurt Shannon again," Jeff growled confidently. "And I know there's no excuse for Matt to be doing what he's doing. But he's not acting like himself and I know when he does come to his senses he's going to be very embarrassed at his own behavior. I just wanted to make sure you understood what was going on so that nothing would come between you two."  
  
"You also wanted to keep this under wraps, didn't you?" Shawn said, smiling grimly.  
  
"I was hoping to, yes," Jeff pleaded. "Like I said, you have every right to hate him."  
  
"We don't hate him," Lance replied. "We're just very disappointed that he couldn't tell us how he was feeling."  
  
"I used to be his sounding board," Jeff explained. "Without that, which he has been used to having around constantly all of his life, he lost it."  
  
"Stop beating yourself up over this, Jeff," Shawn sounded stern. "He's an adult and should know right from wrong. We'll keep this between us for now. As long as it remains contained, we won't let on that we know."  
  
"I should call Shannon, though," Lance said thoughtfully.  
  
"No," Jeff cringed. "He's been through so much, Lance. I'm going to talk to him tonight about Matt. I'm not sure if he wanted me to tell anyone though."  
  
"But he's all alone."  
  
"He's not alone," Jeff sighed. "Though I'm not completely sure that's for the best."  
  
"What do you mean?" Lance demanded, giving Jeff another sharp look.  
  
"Adam's traveling with him right now," Jeff replied. "But Shannon's not ready."  
  
"Copeland's there?" Lance interrupted and broke into a huge smile. "Then everything's okay."  
  
"How can you say that?" now it was Jeff's turn to look vexed. "No, everything is NOT okay. Adam is a great guy and all, but I think he's."  
  
"Got a thing for our little blond friend?" Lance finished for him.  
  
Jeff just silently glared at him. Shawn laughed at the scene.  
  
"Look, I trust Adam," Lance said. "I know he and Jay weren't able to make it work, but there was a lot of history in that relationship that stood in the way. Adam isn't going to hurt Shannon."  
  
"And you know this how?" Jeff crossed his arms. "He told you?"  
  
"No," Lance shook his head. "He's very private on Shannon, but I know he has deep feelings for him. His interest wouldn't have lasted this long if he didn't."  
  
"How long?"  
  
"Since he met Shannon at my place before his Smackdown debut," Lance shrugged. "It's not casual. He's definitely fallen in love with him."  
  
"But he doesn't know you know?" Jeff was skeptical.  
  
"I never push it," Lance responded. "I trust him."  
  
"But he hurt Jay!"  
  
"But you hurt Randy," Shawn gave Jeff a pointed look. "And you're still friends with him."  
  
"Jay and Adam aren't."  
  
"They will be again," Lance interrupted. "But they'll never be together in that sense again. Too much history."  
  
"I still don't know how you can be sure."  
  
"Instinct," Lance replied. "I trust him. Just like I'm now going to trust you."  
  
***********************************  
  
NOTE: This was only going to be a short scene, but I ended up having more to say. Do you like the pace? Isn't it funny how I've gone 10 chapters and not one sex scene yet? Well, the story doesn't demand one right now, but you can bet someone's getting laid at some point! (Evil grin!) 


	11. Shannon's tears

Shannon's eyes widened when he opened the door and found Jeff on the other side. What was he doing here? Adam, seated on his bed reading a magazine, looked up at the doorway in puzzlement. His eyes met Shannon's but the small blond could only shrug as he stepped aside and let Jeff into the room. The younger Hardy stalked inside and dropped a duffle bag at his feet.  
  
"Uh, hey Jeff," Shannon squeaked. "What're you doing here?"  
  
"That seems to be a popular question today," Jeff smiled. "You know why I'm here, Shannon. Why don't you ever return my calls anymore?"  
  
"Uh, um," Shannon stammered.  
  
"He's had a hard time lately," Adam interjected. "Couldn't you ease up?"  
  
"Who are you, his new mama?" Jeff smiled, but Shannon could see it didn't quite meet his eyes. Jeff didn't like his traveling with Adam and Shannon thought he knew why. Jeff was worried Adam was taking advantage of him. He could explain that he wasn't, but Jeff wouldn't believe it. He'd assume Shannon wasn't capable of telling the difference. He loved Jeff, but sometimes be didn't appreciate being treated like a kid.  
  
"No, I'm his friend, though," Adam smiled back, and Shannon could see that Adam understood what was happening.  
  
"I know," Jeff shrugged. "Can't blame me for worrying, though."  
  
"Nothing to worry about," Shannon grinned. "Really."  
  
Jeff looked at him thoughtfully for a minute then shrugged again. He went over to Shannon's bed and sat down on the end of it.  
  
"Shannon, can we talk, please?" he asked in a serious voice. Shannon didn't like the sound of this.  
  
"Uh, sure," he answered, plunking down on the other side of the bed. "What's up?"  
  
Jeff's eyes wandered over to Adam, who was watching them uncertainly.  
  
"Right," Adam sighed, starting to get up. "I'll go see what Chris and Terry are up to."  
  
"You don't have to leave," Shannon said.  
  
"But . . ." Adam and Jeff both said together.  
  
"No," Shannon shook his head and turned to Jeff. "Adam knows everything anyway, Jeff. I told him about me and Matt."  
  
Jeff quirked an eyebrow in what looked like irritation. "So, you can't talk to me," he started slowly. "But you can spill your guts to a virtual stranger?"  
  
"That's not why," Shannon growled back. "You know you sound like him on the phone, Jeff." Shannon looked down, slumping his shoulders. "It just makes me uncomfortable."  
  
"I just want to help," Jeff mumbled.  
  
"You do help," Shannon exclaimed looking back up at his best friend. "It's not a problem when we talk in person, but on the phone, you just sound so much like him. I do want to talk to you."  
  
Jeff watched him intently and Shannon looked back down again.  
  
"You sure you want to discuss Matt while Adam's here?" Jeff asked. "I can talk to him about the other stuff after."  
  
"What other stuff," Adam asked from his bed.  
  
"Not now," Jeff replied, not taking his eyes off of Shannon, who stared back uncomfortably.  
  
"I'm sure I want him to stay now," Shannon said. "Especially since part of it obviously concerns him."  
  
"I am concerned," Adam grunted, sitting up. "Spill, Jeff."  
  
Jeff sighed and shook his head. "There's no good way to say this, so I'll just spit it out." He took a deep breath or two then looked back at Shannon again. "Matt's been playing you, buddy," he said sadly. "I'm so sorry, but he's been playing you all along."  
  
"What?" Shannon's stomach bottomed out.  
  
"Look, I didn't know, Shan, I swear it," Jeff begged. "I had a bad feeling about it from the start."  
  
"I know," Shannon nearly shouted. "That was another reason I didn't call. Who wants to hear 'I told you so' when your boyfriend dumps you?"  
  
"I didn't mean it like that," Jeff replied. "I got one of my feelings." He looked at Shannon meaningfully. "You know the ones. I just felt it when you told me you'd hooked up with him. Well, now I have confirmation."  
  
"What kind of confirmation?" Adam asked in a dangerous voice. Shannon could see the tall blond was not liking what Jeff's news was doing to him, and part of him was glad. It felt so nice to have a friend on the road with him.  
  
"What kind?" he echoed the Canadian's question.  
  
"Well," Jeff licked his lips and sat back. "It's bad, Shan. Matt's not done causing trouble."  
  
"What else is he planning?"  
  
"He's after Shawn," Jeff sighed. "He wants to break him and Lance up."  
  
"Break them up?" Shannon asked. "How?"  
  
"He didn't tell Jay everything," Jeff started.  
  
"Whoa whoa whoa," Adam put a hand up. "Jay?" he asked with a serious look on his face. "What does he have to do with this?"  
  
Jeff sighed again and started at the beginning, telling them all about Matt's crazy plan to break up Shawn and Lance using Jay, who they both trusted, to probably feed them both bad information about each other and help him arrange for compromising positions. The part that both Shannon and Adam winced at was where Matt used Shannon and dumped him so that when Adam eventually went back to Smackdown and got close to Shannon, Matt could easily sneak back in to break them up for Jay. He also said that Jay was actually working to stop Matt.  
  
Shannon sat back dumbfounded. He knew Matt hadn't loved him. That wasn't a surprise. But to use him so disgustingly and then plan to come back and do it again, knowing Shannon's weakness for him, well that was just shocking. Matt must hate him. Either that or he just never cared for him even as a friend. How could one person do that to another, and one he practically grew up with at that? He felt numb inside. Cold, even. Fate just couldn't let him off that easily, could it? No, not Shannon. He was doomed to go through life unloved. That had to be why.  
  
"Shan?" Jeff asked carefully. "Please talk to me. I know what you're thinking and I can promise you that's not true."  
  
"Really?" Shannon's voice cracked. "What am I thinking?"  
  
"That you'll never be loved," Jeff answered without hesitation. "That you're fated to never have someone love you for you, and not because you remind them of someone or can help them forget someone. That's not true."  
  
"Well, the theory's held up so far, hasn't it?" The tears began to fall down Shannon's cheeks but he didn't care.  
  
"It's NOT true," Adam said emphatically.  
  
Shannon looked up and locked eyes with him. How could this man be so blind? Even Shannon could see that he was probably a stand in for Jay. He wanted to believe that Adam liked him just for himself. He really did. Their time together so far had been nothing but great times. But he couldn't risk becoming a casualty again. He knew he would eventually give in to his growing attraction for Adam. And when Adam left him, well, he never thought he could hurt more than he did when Matt left him, but he was wrong. Adam's betrayal would cut much deeper.  
  
"You don't even know the half of it, Adam!" he shouted. "Trust me, I'm nothing but the company whore!"  
  
"No, you're not!" both Adam and Jeff yelled back.  
  
"Yes I am!" Shannon insisted, jumping up and heading to the door. "Stick around and you'll see!" He looked back at Adam. "And when you're done with me, don't forget to give Jay my regards!" He slammed the door behind him.  
  
********************************  
  
"Shannon!" Adam yelled, jumping up to follow him.  
  
"Let him go!" Jeff growled, pulling Adam back. "He needs time on his own."  
  
"Oh, he does?" Adam shot back feeling the rage rise up in him. "We should just let him go and stew in THAT opinion of himself?"  
  
"You really do care about him, don't you?"  
  
"Yes!" Adam screamed. "I really do care about him, Jeff! And now he's out there by himself thinking that no one will actually want him for anything but a quick fuck or two! Doesn't that bother you at all?"  
  
"Oh, it bothers me a LOT," Jeff replied his eyes darkening to a stormy green. "And you can bet your PVC pants Matt's going to answer for what he did to Shannon. That's why he never comes home anymore, you know."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because he knew I'd figure out what he's doing," Jeff said. "He knew I'd stop him."  
  
"What about Shannon?" Adam asked.  
  
"I thought about that," Jeff sighed. "Long and hard. What about Shannon? Lance told me you cared for him."  
  
"Lance knows?" Adam's eyes bugged out. "What did he tell you?"  
  
"He couldn't tell me much," Jeff shook his head. "Because you wouldn't tell him. But he did say he trusted you."  
  
Adam stared at Jeff intently, wondering what he would say next.  
  
"And now I can see that he's right," Jeff smirked. "You have fallen in love with him. You don't just like him. It's not just 'a thing' for him. You are very much in love with Shannon, Adam."  
  
Adam opened his mouth to deny it.  
  
"Don't even go there," Jeff laughed. "I can see your heart in your eyes, man. It's what's keeping you from seducing him. I know you want him. You're practically vibrating with it."  
  
"If he suspected," Adam began.  
  
"He'd run," Jeff finished. "I know."  
  
"What do we do now?"  
  
"That's not for me to say," Jeff picked up his duffle bag and headed to the door. "I have my hands full so I'm trusting you to help him, Adam."  
  
"But Matt . . ."  
  
"You leave Matt to me and my accomplices," Jeff said with authority. "I'll handle him. You just stay here and wait for Shannon. He'll come back here, don't worry. When he does, you'll have your work cut out for you. He'll be more withdrawn than ever for a while. But you'll reach him."  
  
"How can you be sure?"  
  
"Instinct," Jeff smiled as he opened the door. "I trust you, Adam."  
  
********************************  
  
No one could possibly love him, Shannon thought. Well, not in the romantic sense. Jeff loved him like brother. His family loved him. Adam . . . No, Adam liked him well enough. He was attracted to him. But he didn't love him. He'd given Shannon no inclination that he did. Good thing, too, because Shannon would run like hell if Adam tried to tell him he did. Look where caring has gotten him! No, it's better not to love at all. Fuck that old saying!  
  
Shannon stared down at the ground from the hotel roof. So far down, he thought to himself. So tempting.  
  
********************************  
  
NOTE: Does this cliffie work as enough revenge, HD? I told you I would get you! LOL! Plus it adds flavor to my cauldron of emotional upheaval. Muwhahaha! Sorry it took me a while to get this up. Let me know if you like! 


	12. Lighten up!

"Hey, Matt!" Shane called out from behind him. The club was noisy, so he almost didn't hear him.  
  
Matt turned to see Shane, Rob and Chris sidling up to the bar. Jay, who was standing on Matt's other side, broke into a wide grin and raised his beer bottle to the three.  
  
"You made it!" Jay shouted above the music. "I wasn't sure if you would."  
  
"And miss a fun time with you, Jasey-Poo?" Chris grinned back and grabbed Jay by the neck, pulling him in for a mock kiss. "Never! You know you light my fire, baby."  
  
"Let me go, you bleached blond freak!" Jay laughed back.  
  
Matt laughed, too. It was always fun to watch Chris and Jay tease each other. Nothing would ever come of it, anyway. Jay never let anyone get close to him, which is why Matt chose him for his unwilling ally. As long as Jay pined for Adam, all would be right with Matt's world.  
  
"Hey, you guys get out here and dance!" Amy ordered, pulling Rob and Shane out with her. Trish grabbed Chris and Jay and motioned for Matt to follow. He just shook his head and watched the six from his spot at the bar.  
  
"Now, why would you want to stay here when those six gorgeous people just asked you to join them?" Shawn asked from his newly taken position beside Matt.  
  
Matt turned around, startled to see him there. Lance wasn't anywhere Matt could see, so this was doubly confusing. Now that he had his target where he always wanted him, alone, he wasn't sure what to do, so he stared at Shawn for a moment trying to figure out his next move. Clearing his voice he picked up his drink again, rum and cola, and sipped slowly.  
  
"Hey, Shawn," he said nervously. "I didn't think you partied anymore."  
  
"I don't usually."  
  
"What brings you here tonight?"  
  
Shawn lifted a shoulder negligently and sipped his own drink. It was clear, so Matt couldn't tell if it was water or alcohol.  
  
"Lance lets you out?"  
  
"Only on rare occasions," Lance answered from Matt's other side. He suddenly moved into the older Hardy brother's view and smiled slightly. "Shawn's right, Matt. Why aren't you out there dancing with the others? A good looking guy like you should be living it up with your friends."  
  
"I'm not much for dancing," Matt replied uncertainly, not liking the predatory looks in the two men's eyes. "That was always Jeff's strength, not mine."  
  
"How is Jeff, by the way," Shawn asked. "I miss having him around."  
  
"He's fine," Matt nodded. "Working on his music and art. Really getting himself together."  
  
"Think he'll be back soon?" Lance interjected.  
  
"Uh, I hope so," Matt shrugged. "I miss being around him."  
  
"Yeah," Shawn nodded. "I would think you would. You've always had him around until recently. It must be hard only seeing him once a week or so, especially since you've trained with him and traveled with him your whole career. It must make things difficult for you when you need someone to talk to."  
  
"Well, he is only a phone call away," Matt reasoned.  
  
"Yeah, but that's never the same, is it?" Lance responded. "You can't really connect to your best friend that way, can you? He is your best friend, as well as your brother, right?"  
  
"He is," Matt said, still confused about the turn of conversation. "Along with Shane, Ames and Shannon. We're all real tight."  
  
"But your brother's known you longer and you connect with him on a different level," Lance challenged.  
  
"I'm not sure what you're getting at," Matt replied coldly. He hoped Lance wasn't implying what it sounded like. He'd heard the rumors all throughout his career. Jeff was his brother, for God's sake! (A/N: This is the character's thought and not the author's opinion. *Grin*)  
  
"Just that you and Jeff were always inseparable," Lance said. "It's weird to see you without him, even after all this time."  
  
"Yeah," Matt's smile returned. "It's weird for me, too. I do miss him a lot. He was the only one who kept me calm when traveling turned into a nightmare."  
  
"Oh, I can relate to that," Lance grinned. "I'd give anything to belt the CEO of Air Canada."  
  
"I'd do just about anything to stop New York City traffic just once when I need to get to the Garden," Shawn griped.  
  
"Me too!" Shane laughed as he grabbed Matt's ass from behind. Matt squealed and jumped in the air. Rob caught him in a tight embrace and winked at him as he undulated against him. Matt pushed both men off him with a playful grimace.  
  
"Why aren't you out there dancing?" he asked.  
  
"The song turned slow and we didn't want to have to watch Chris torture Jay anymore," Rob grinned and motioned to the dance floor where they observed an obviously angry Jay attempting to struggle out of the vise grip Chris had him locked into. Chris was laughing and trying to nuzzle his tag partner's ear. Amy and Trish were wrapped in each other's arms just a short distance away, oblivious to the Canadians' antics. Rob's arm tightened around Matt's waist causing the dark haired man to almost drop his drink.  
  
"Hey, Rob!" Shane exclaimed. "Get your hands off my bitch!"  
  
"What!?" Matt shrieked. He could hear Lance and Shawn laughing hysterically behind him.  
  
"Well," Shane raised an eyebrow. "Who would you rather belong to?"  
  
Rob raised a matching brow and looked at Matt expectantly.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" Matt demanded, pulling away from Rob and facing a man he considered one of his best friends. "I hope your joking."  
  
"Well I was before," Shane said scratching his chin. "But now I ain't so sure."  
  
"Hey," Rob frowned. "That's not cool, dude. I saw him first."  
  
"Saw him first?" Shane turned to him. "He's my best freaking friend. You did NOT see him first, man."  
  
"I saw him first tonight," Rob pointed out. "And since we're at a club, that makes him fair game."  
  
Matt started to laugh, feeling his trepidation slowly leave him. The two were teasing him like Chris was teasing Jay, who was now flailing like a rag doll on the dance floor. They all watched him again, falling all over each other laughing at his predicament.  
  
"Matt!" Jay called, his voice just barely making it over the noise. "It is your sworn duty to save me!"  
  
"Oh it is?" Matt wiped the tear coming from the corner of his eye. "Why's that?"  
  
"You KNOW why!" Jay glared at him meaningfully.  
  
Matt knew what he meant, but he still couldn't stop chuckling. He put down his drink and pushed away from the bar with purpose.  
  
"If you'll excuse me," he said over his shoulder. "I'll just go rescue my roommate from the clutches of Y2-lay."  
  
The others hooted and hollered at that and egged Matt on to defend his turf. Matt nodded then walked over to the two Canadians and tapped Chris on the shoulder. Jericho turned around and gave him a baleful look.  
  
"Get your own, Hardy," he growled. "This little lady is mine!"  
  
"Little lady?!" Jay screeched. "Jericho, if you don't get your meat hooks off me, I'll make sure you never use your . . . equipment again!"  
  
Matt hid his smirk behind his hand.  
  
"But I wanted you to finish this dance," Chris teased.  
  
"I'll make sure he does," Matt offered, pulling Jay away from a disappointed Jericho. "Now run along and play with the other boys."  
  
"Fine," Chris frowned. "But I'll be watching you two." With that he stalked away from the two and back to the bar.  
  
"Well, you heard the man," Jay grimaced, wrapping his arms around Matt's neck. "Let's at least pretend to like each other for one night."  
  
"Jay, I do like you," Matt argued awkwardly leaning into Jay and putting his palms on the other man's hips. "I wish you'd stop being mad at me."  
  
"Well, I wish you'd stop using me," Jay countered.  
  
They finished the rest of the song in silence and went back to join their friends at the bar. Despite the serious conversations he'd had that night and the disturbing looks sent his way from Shane and Rob, Matt managed to have a good time. He decided to leave the club a little early, though, after securing a promise from Jericho that he wouldn't grope Jay while Matt was gone.  
  
In his room, Matt sighed as he undressed and got ready for bed. He was about to turn out the light when he spied the phone out of the corner of his eye. He stared at it for a while as he thought about his conversation with Lance earlier. Finally he picked it up and dialed the number he knew so well. The other person picked up the phone and answered in a sleepy voice.  
  
"Jeff?" he asked uncertainly. "Sorry to wake you, bro." He listened for a minute then smiled. "Yeah, I've missed you, too."  
  
******************************  
  
NOTE: A little levity to lighten the mood. And, hmm. That means that Shanny's still on the roof, doesn't it, HD? (*evil grin* HA! The cliffie remains ALIVE!) 


	13. Come back, Shannon!

"What are you doing up here, buddy?"  
  
The voice startled Shannon from his musings and he turned to see Billy Kidman leaning against the wall near the door. He looked about as sad as Shannon felt right now.  
  
"Nothing much," Shannon replied. "Just getting some air."  
  
"Your room doesn't have a balcony?  
  
"It does," Shannon sighed. "I just wanted to be alone."  
  
"You, too, huh?"  
  
"Yeah," Shannon shrugged. "You want me to go? I was about to anyway. I know what it's like not to want company."  
  
"Nah, stay, Shannon," Billy smiled. "I don't mind sharing the roof with you. Why don't you tell what's on your mind?"  
  
"I don't really want to talk about it yet," Shannon sighed. "But I'll listen, if you want to talk."  
  
"That would be nice," Billy nodded and walked over to sit next to where Shannon was standing.  
  
Shannon looked at him for a second or so and then squatted down next to him. They sat shoulder to shoulder on the rooftop. Shannon liked Billy. They'd worked together before in WCW. But they hadn't hung out together all that much due to storylines and Billy's girlfriend. Oh, Shannon liked Torrie well enough. She was a real nice girl. But she was clingy with Billy and so they hardly ever hung around with the other wrestlers. Shane used to call Billy pussy whipped, but Shannon didn't think that was the case. He'd seen Billy and Rey ogling each other in the past and wondered if he wasn't just afraid of coming out of the closet.  
  
"Torrie and I finally broke up," Billy smiled sadly.  
  
"I'm so sorry," Shannon replied. "When? Why? If you don't mind me asking."  
  
"I don't mind," Billy smiled again. "I always knew we'd end up breaking up someday. I just figured it would be because she found out." He broke off.  
  
"She found what?" Shannon prodded. "That you love her just not in that way?"  
  
"You know?" Billy looked startled. "How?"  
  
"Just a hunch," Shannon shrugged again. "I'm good at spotting others like me."  
  
"Like you?" Billy's eyebrows went up. "Small?"  
  
Shannon shook his head.  
  
"Ah, gay, then?" Billy smiled.  
  
"That's the one," Shannon replied with a sad grin of his own.  
  
"You never made a big splash out of coming out," Billy said. "I just wasn't sure if you wanted everyone to know."  
  
"Oh, everyone knows whether I like it or not," Shannon grunted. "Matt made sure of that."  
  
"He did keep us all away from you while he was here," Billy nodded. "I tried to talk to you about three months ago about a match we would both be at ringside for but Matt intercepted me and said I could tell him anything I needed to say to you and he would be sure you got the message."  
  
Shannon grimaced again at that statement. He wasn't all that surprised about it, though. Matt had made a habit of running off all their friends and Shannon did nothing to stop him, afraid of capsizing an already rocking vessel. He wondered how different things might have been if he'd stood up to Matt and told him to go to hell.  
  
"I'm sorry about all that, Billy," he said finally. "I was so blind to what he was doing, I didn't take notice of some very obvious details."  
  
"So, are you getting over him with Adam?"  
  
Billy's blunt question cut Shannon to the quick. He was suddenly reminded of just what his place was in the company and why Billy was probably happy to see him tonight. He didn't blame the man, as that was what he'd let Matt turn him into.  
  
"Adam and I are just friends," he said through his teeth. "I ain't letting that happen to me again." He turned his head to look Billy right in his deep brown eyes. "I ain't going to let anyone make me the company whore."  
  
"I'm sorry, man," Billy murmured. "I didn't mean to imply that I thought of you that way." He flushed a little. "And that's not why I'm talking to you tonight. I really just thought I could talk to you. That you'd understand."  
  
Shannon stared at him for a few long minutes trying to ascertain the truth behind the heated words. Billy looked back at him with unwavering eyes so Shannon knew he was telling the truth.  
  
"All right then," Shannon said then suddenly grinned. "Besides, we wouldn't make a good match anyway."  
  
"Why not?" Billy strived for a wounded look. "I happen to think I'd make you a wonderful wife!"  
  
"Ha ha," the small blond giggled. "First of all we're too much alike in a lot of ways to ever make each other happy."  
  
"I don't know about that, but whatever. And secondly?"  
  
"And secondly," Shannon raised an eyebrow. "You're already too much in love with Rey Rey to pay me any mind." Billy flushed an even deeper red and the small blond laughed at him. "Don't try to deny it. I've seen the looks you give him."  
  
"That obvious, huh?"  
  
"To me it is," Shannon said. "But I'm sure nobody else noticed. You know how self absorbed everyone is around here."  
  
"I know."  
  
"What did happen with Torrie tonight, Billy?"  
  
Billy frowned deeply and looked at the ground they were sitting on. Shannon wasn't sure he would answer.  
  
"Turns out the storyline with Dawn Marie wasn't all acting," Billy finally said. "I found them in bed together last week. She keeps apologizing and I keep telling her not to worry about it, but I haven't been able to tell her why yet."  
  
"Well, that is a jam, isn't it?" Shannon replied. "Why can't you tell her?"  
  
"If she finds out that I'm in love with Rey, she'll tell him."  
  
"And that would be bad because?"  
  
"Because he and I have been friends for years," Billy sighed. "I don't even know if he likes me that way and if he doesn't and then knew I was in love with him, things would be all awkward."  
  
"Ah, I see," the small blond nodded. "Let me ease your mind. He likes you."  
  
"How do YOU know?" Billy sounded affronted.  
  
"Because while you've been busy trying not to let him see you watch him, he's been trying not to let you see he's doing the same damn thing."  
  
Billy looked at him wide eyed. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Trust me," Shannon smiled. "I'm positive."  
  
Billy thought for a moment then slowly smiled. He looked back up at Shannon gratefully. "Thanks, man!" he quickly shook Shannon's hand. "I'm so glad I ran into you tonight."  
  
"No big deal," the small blond smiled back. "Now what do you say we both go back inside? It's getting chilly out here."  
  
(A/N: Sorry for giving you grays, Cat Lea Takersdarkone! See? I got him off the roof without making him jump!)  
  
**************************  
  
Adam waited impatiently in his room. He was worried Shannon wasn't all right, like Jeff insisted he was. How could anyone in that state of mind be all right? He hoped Shannon wasn't contemplating anything stupid.  
  
Adam sat back on his bed and thought about what Jeff had said earlier. Matt had deliberately seduced Shannon because he knew that Adam cared for him. And he was planning to come back and do it again when his plan to break Shawn and Lance up worked. He was doing it to pay Jay back for his services. This plan was so disgusting to Adam he could hardly stomach the thought. What had happened to Matt to make him think up something so devious and malicious? Didn't he care about what this would do to Shannon if he were successful?  
  
Not that it would be successful, though. Adam had no intention of playing into Matt's neat little manipulation. And he glad to hear that Jay wasn't either. He would have been sorely disappointed to find out his best friend and former lover was capable of something so cruel. Still, this plan meant Matt wasn't the same guy Adam thought he knew.  
  
It also meant that he was the reason Shannon got hurt to begin with. How could the small blond possibly forgive him for that? And now Shannon thought that the only reason Adam wanted to be around him was that he reminded him of Jay in some way. How could Adam convince him that wasn't true? Jeff was right. This wouldn't be easy at all. Adam was determined to show the young blond that he didn't want him just for sex. It would be tough, but he knew he couldn't give up.  
  
Sometime while he waited, Adam fell asleep on his bed with his clothes and the light on. He didn't hear Shannon come in, but he suddenly felt him crawl up his body and straddle his lean waist before he opened his eyes and looked up at him in confusion.  
  
"Shannon?" Adam squeaked as Shannon unzipped his pants and pressed himself against him. "What - what are you doing?"  
  
"Come on Ad," the small blond said in a sexy growl. "I'm just cutting to the chase and giving you what you want."  
  
Adam couldn't find his voice as Shannon squirmed against him again and looked deeply into his eyes.  
  
"You do want me, don't you, Addy baby?"  
  
**************************  
  
NOTE: I've done what HD did and exchanged one cliffie for another! (To HD: HA! And I'm prepared to do it again! LOL) How do you all like this? Adam seems to be caught between a rock and a hard on . . . oops! I mean place! Yeah, that's it! (GRIN) 


	14. Down, boy!

Shannon gazed down at Adam's shocked face and attempted to keep his own nerves in check. He begged Adam silently to prove him right. He wanted Adam to refuse him and prove to him that someone in this damn company didn't see him as a distraction until someone else came along. He wanted to know if this really was a friendship or another ploy. *Please don't take me up on this, Adam,* Shannon thought. *Don't be one of them.*  
  
Adam stared back up at Shannon, but the smaller blond couldn't determine what he was thinking. The Canadian appeared locked in time, as if one move would cause a catastrophic event. And it would. Shannon could feel the telltale bulge pressed against his own. He admitted to himself that he was attracted to Adam, but it was far too soon in their friendship to tell if it would stand the test of a relationship. He wouldn't give into the lust just because they both wanted it. No. He would only give his body again when there was a certainty of something beyond convenience and desire. He wouldn't settle for less anymore. And now he would find out if Adam meant what he'd said.  
  
"Why?" the Canadian said through gritted teeth. It was as if that was all he could trust himself to say.  
  
Shannon thought for a moment. He couldn't tell him why. That would probably affect the outcome. So, what to say? He had to make up something convincing. He contemplated the man beneath him carefully. Or maybe he didn't have to say anything. Shannon's mind finally cleared and he knew what he had to do. He quickly leaned in and locked his lips to Adam's, nibbling gently on the taller man's bottom one. Adam groaned in response and kissed him back. As good as it felt Shannon's heart sank. He had his answer. But suddenly Adam pulled back and gently pushed the smaller blond off him, panting with unspent passion.  
  
"As much as I want you," he said to a stunned Shannon, "and I assure you I DO want you, I can't let you do this."  
  
Shannon's heart kicked up and he tried his best to hide his relief behind a disinterested expression. Adam was shooting him a peculiar look so he wasn't entirely sure he was being successful.  
  
"Why not?" he hissed. "Isn't that what you want?"  
  
Adam sighed and shook his head. "Oh, I want you very badly, Shan," he said not breaking eye contact for a second. "But I want you for you and until I can get you to believe that, I'm not going to give in to it."  
  
Shannon sat back on the bed at a loss. Adam had given him what he wanted, an assurance that if anything did happen, Shannon would dictate the terms without worrying about Adam trying to seduce him. So, why did a small part of him feel so empty and rejected?  
  
"I can practically read your mind," Adam said sitting back but not far away from the small blond. He was giving Shannon the most sincere expression the smaller man had ever received and it did warm him a little. "I'm not rejecting you. I'm just trying to show you that I care about you and am willing to do what is best for you. Not me. You."  
  
"I'm just not used to having anyone care about what I want," Shannon sighed and ran his fingers through his loose blond hair. "And I don't want to go through another bad relationship."  
  
"So, why did you come on to me?" Adam frowned.  
  
"To see if you meant what you'd said," Shannon blushed and looked down. "I'm sorry I did it that way, but I've been burnt by so-called friends so many times before. I thought it was the only way to be sure."  
  
"Hey."  
  
Shannon refused to look up, feeling quite embarrassed by his actions.  
  
"I said, hey," Adam repeated softly lifting Shannon's head with his fingers under the small blond's chin. "I'm not mad at you."  
  
"You should be," Shannon shrugged looking back up. Adam removed his hand.  
  
"No, I shouldn't. You've been treated very badly and I understand your reluctance to believe me."  
  
"I just can't believe he planned the whole thing," Shannon whispered feeling the tears well up inside his eyes. "I knew he didn't love me but, Adam, he used me like a whore and dumped me when he was through."  
  
"I know," the taller man replied rubbing Shannon's shoulder. "It was disgusting."  
  
"He was supposed to be one of my best friends," Shannon went on. "I even let him pull me away from Jeff! And he was planning to come back again. He knew I loved him. He knew I'd give him another chance if I thought he missed me. And he was going to dump me again."  
  
"I know."  
  
Shannon's tears became a torrent of sobs as he moved into Adam's arms and gave into his pain.  
  
***********************************  
  
Jeff hung up from his short conversation with Matt and smiled. At least there was something human left to salvage of his brother. They'd basically caught up a little and Matt even told him some of what happened at the club earlier that night. Jeff laughed when Matt told him about Jay's torment from Jericho. Chris was a riot. Jeff would have to remember to get some pointers from him next time they sat down for a conversation. He still considered Chris one of his good friends, even after everything that had happened with Randy. Too bad things had been strained like they were. Well, Randy did say that time would heal things and he appeared to be correct. Maybe one day Jeff could talk to him again like he used to, too. He sighed and dialed the phone of his number one accomplice, the only one who knew all the details he did.  
  
"Yello!"  
  
"Cute," Jeff laughed.  
  
"Hey, I'm trying," the man snickered. "What's up? I'd expected you to call long before this."  
  
"Sorry," Jeff replied. "I was late in talking to Adam and Shannon. Then Matt called."  
  
"Whoa!" the guy exclaimed. "Matt actually called you?"  
  
"Yeah, just now. It was kind of unexpected."  
  
"I wonder what they were saying to him while we were all out on the dance floor."  
  
"What who was saying to him?" Jeff asked curiously.  
  
"Lance and Shawn."  
  
"What?!" Jeff cried. "I told them to stay out of this! We don't want Matt to know we're onto him."  
  
"Why not?" the man argued. "It might make things end more quickly."  
  
"Yeah, but my intention is to teach Matty a lesson without embarrassing him too much," Jeff explained. "He'd leave wrestling if he thought everyone knew what he did."  
  
"I don't think he'd do something THAT drastic," came the reply. "But don't worry. They said they weren't going to confront him and they always do what they say they'll do. They're probably just trying to sway him from his wayward course."  
  
"Beautifully put," Jeff sighed again. "I thought I was the poet."  
  
"Maybe you're rubbing off on me."  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"You want to hear what happened tonight?"  
  
"Matt told me Jay had an interesting evening," Jeff laughed. "You go ahead and tell me the rest."  
  
The other guy chuckled and recounted the evening's events, making Jeff laugh out loud in some parts. He smiled when he heard that Chris had actually tricked Matt and Jay into dancing a slow one together. That was an interesting angle he hadn't thought to work in.  
  
"So, Chris and Randy are really kaput?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah," the man's voice stiffened. "Why? Does that interest you?"  
  
"Not me," Jeff's voice softened. He understood the emotions behind the churlish reply. He even silently acknowledged that he would feel the same were the situation reversed. "I'm very happy with the way things turned out."  
  
"You're sure?"  
  
"I'm positive," Jeff said confidently. "I'd be happier if you weren't ogling my brother, though."  
  
The man laughed out loud.  
  
"I'm not the only one," he finally said. "I have competition."  
  
"Yeah, well your competition better win!" Jeff playfully groused.  
  
They both laughed for a while over that. Then the man got serious again.  
  
"Does it bother you how we got together, baby?"  
  
"It bothers me that I hurt two good friends before I admitted to myself what I really wanted," Jeff replied. "You and I had been fighting for so long, I didn't see how we would wind up together."  
  
"Our fights were so bad BECAUSE of what we felt for one another."  
  
"I know that now," Jeff grunted. "But it took some broken hearts for me to make it work."  
  
"You didn't break those hearts on your own."  
  
"Don't YOU go feeling guilty on me, now," Jeff asserted. "I was the one running. I knew even back then you'd catch me, though."  
  
"I just don't want you to wonder 'what if' over anything."  
  
"I love you, baby," Jeff said simply. "There are no more 'what ifs' to wonder about. There's just you."  
  
"I love you, too Jeff."  
  
***********************************  
  
NOTE: Sorry this took a bit longer than I'd hoped! I'm in the middle of finals and everything's crazy! Sometimes I really hate school! But, even though I have a history test and a lab test to study for, I just couldn't leave Shannon dangling between Adam's legs anymore! What do you think of this? 


	15. Moving on

Matt lifted the dumbbells again and strained against them. He was pushing himself harder than usual but it beat the alternative: dwelling on what he was doing to everyone around him. He couldn't think about that if he wanted the plan to work. And he did want it to work. Shawn was too good of a package to just drop. He let the weights down again and wiped of his forehead with his gym towel. Letting out a breath he got up and moved to the next machine. Jay caught his eye from the machine across the aisle and cocked a brow. Matt nodded to him and went back to adjusting his own machine.  
  
Despite the comical antics of the night in the bar things remained decidedly chilly between himself and his Canadian travel partner. He had hoped Jay would warm up to the idea once he'd had time to digest it, but that didn't seem to be happening. Instead he just glared at Matt whenever he brought up what he had in mind and gave stiff, monosyllabic replies to anything Matt asked.  
  
Shawn and Lance were working out nearby and Matt had to consciously keep himself from glancing in their direction. It seemed that the two were never far from him and Jay no matter what city they were in, Almost as if they were trying to keep tabs on him. Matt shook off the paranoia and began doing his leg lifts. Things didn't seem this complicated when he'd first come up with the plan while he was on Smackdown.  
  
That thought led him to Shannon. He wondered briefly how the small blond was doing without him. A pang of guilt crept past his defenses and settled in the pit of his gut. He had a good idea of just how Shannon was doing. And he was the one who caused it. Most likely, Shannon was wallowing in a pit of self-loathing. According to the reports he was hearing, the younger man had about moved in with Adam and spent most of his time in seclusion when he was outside the ring. Adam, according to Matt's sources, was spending all of his time tending to Shannon. If they weren't sleeping together yet, they soon would be. Matt knew from several former WCW guys that Shannon tended to bond with the nearest available body after a messy break up.  
  
It made Matt sick to do what he'd done but it was the only way to get the small blond together with Adam so that Matt could break them up later for Jay, who was still denying he wanted such a circumstance. But he still wanted Adam. Matt could see it in his eyes. And he would eventually forgive the older Hardy for what he'd put him through when things were settled.  
  
And Shannon? Well, Matt still didn't know what would become of him. The small man seemed so vulnerable during their relationship. He knew Jeff would be there for his friend no matter what. He hoped maybe Jeff would even start a relationship of his own with Shannon. He'd always thought those two would make a good couple. But Jeff seemed evasive when Matt tried to question him about his love life. He wondered if maybe his baby brother was hiding something from him. It would serve him right if Jeff did keep secrets on him, Matt grimaced to himself.  
  
"You going to finish lifting or did you pull something?" Lance asked, shocking Matt back to the present.  
  
"No, I'm okay," Matt smiled after mentally shaking himself. "I'm trying to avoid a strain."  
  
"I know what you mean," the other man replied. "I go home with at least one new ache each week."  
  
"Yeah, but then I get to massage it back out of you when we get there," Shawn grinned from Matt's other side.  
  
Matt sighed inwardly knowing the two wouldn't be giving him any peace for the rest of his time there. Outwardly, he put on a serene face and finished his lifts. Lance offered to spot him on the weight bench and Matt accepted reluctantly. Spending this much time with someone he considered his enemy wasn't a good idea. He caught Jay's eye again and shrugged slightly at the question he saw there. What could he do? If he refused, the two would find it odd and probably become suspicious of him.  
  
"You ready?" Lance asked as Matt positioned himself on the bench.  
  
"Yeah," Matt smiled and Lance let go of the bar.  
  
"So, have you heard from Jeff?" he asked as Matt hefted the heavy weights.  
  
"Yeah," he said through gritted teeth. "He says he's doing real well."  
  
"Good to hear that," Shawn smiled. "I miss his crazy attitude."  
  
"Don't . . . we . . . all?" Matt asked as he pushed up again.  
  
"I didn't know him all that well," Lance said shaking his head. "But I would have loved working with him." He turned to Shawn. "You know, some of his stunts reminded me of your old tapes."  
  
"You and me both," the Texan grinned.  
  
Matt pushed the weights up again and tried to ignore their banter. It was difficult with them standing right near him, but he made a concerted effort. He kept up a breathing rhythm as he lifted to help him concentrate. Soon he was struggling and was about to call out to Lance when Jay appeared above him and looked down with concern.  
  
"You okay there, Matt?" the blond Canadian asked, taking the bar from him.  
  
"Oh, geez!" Lance exclaimed. "Sorry, Matt! I should have been watching you." He helped Matt up and rubbed his shoulders apologetically. "Really sorry."  
  
"No . . . sweat," Matt panted. Jay handed him a towel and escorted him back to the locker room.  
  
"You okay, man?" he asked when they got back there.  
  
"Yeah," Matt nodded. "Lance just forgot to watch what I was doing."  
  
"Those two seem like they're acting strange to you?"  
  
"How do you figure?" Matt raised a brow.  
  
"They've been shadowing us for a week now," Jay shrugged. "It just seems odd to me."  
  
"I did notice that. Maybe they're just trying to be friendly?"  
  
"Maybe," Jay shrugged. "I don't know."  
  
"Well, I guess we can deal with it," Matt replied, pulling out his clothes for a shower. "Want to grab something to eat before the show?"  
  
"I thought you'd be hanging around with the three stooges again."  
  
"Nah," Matt smiled. "Rob and Shane are starting to scare me, and Chris only has eyes for you."  
  
Jay glared at him momentarily before responding. "Okay, let's protect each other then."  
  
"Sounds like a plan."  
  
******************************  
  
Shannon ran through the move with Adam again and focused on keeping his head in the correct position. Adam had patiently explained it to him again before they started. It was so different than with Matt. When Matt tried to train him on moves, Shannon caught hell if things didn't go right on the first try. Adam seemed to be a much more tolerant tutor. And he didn't make any romantic moves on Shannon at all, as promised. The smaller blond was starting to believe that Adam meant what he'd said before. Shannon brought himself back to his task and executed the move perfectly.  
  
"Beautiful follow through this time," Adam smiled from his prone position on the mat.  
  
"Lying down on the job again?" Benoit chuckled from the apron.  
  
"Does it surprise you?" Terry asked as he joined the Crippler.  
  
"Funny, guys," Adam retorted as he pulled himself up.  
  
"I didn't hurt your neck, did I?" Shannon asked nervously as he approached the taller man.  
  
"I'm fine," Adam grinned.  
  
"You're sure?" Terry and Chris both asked in unison.  
  
"Great!" Adam griped dramatically. "Now I have THREE mothers to report to."  
  
"Yeah, but you can't escape THAT one," Terry laughed pointing at Shannon. "He rooms with you."  
  
"That's right," Shannon grinned. "And I won't be ignored."  
  
"Like anyone could ever ignore you," Adam shot back.  
  
"You'd be surprised," Shannon replied sadly.  
  
"Not anymore," Adam shook his head. "Never again." He stared at the small man pointedly, making Shannon uncomfortable. But he knew Adam wouldn't stop until he gained Shannon's agreement so the smaller man nodded his head and smiled. "That's better," Adam sighed. "Now who's up for lunch?"  
  
"Need you ask?" Chris growled as Terry raised his hand enthusiastically.  
  
"You, too, right?" Adam looked back at Shannon.  
  
"Aren't I always?"  
  
"I hope so," Adam grinned as Shannon followed him out of the ring.  
  
Yes, things were looking up for him, Shannon mused as they all made their way back to the locker room. He was beginning to heal from Matt's betrayal and his travel partner expected nothing more of him than he was willing to give. When Matt came back for him, the older Hardy was in for a real surprise. Shannon wouldn't allow him to use him again. But it felt nice to know that the three men he was with now would also stand in Matt's way. He'd never had friends like that before, aside from Jeff. Well, Shane, too, but Shannon always felt like Shane protected him out of habit rather than friendship. And since they'd grown apart when the companies merged, Shannon hadn't spent much time with Shane. But the three men here with him now made it clear they would protect him because he was a friend, not just a responsibility. And that made all the difference.  
  
******************************  
  
NOTE: Sorry I haven't updated! The holidays were crazy and I wasn't entirely sober enough to finish this chapter before now. (And when I was, I was hung over, so that didn't help at all.) Jeff's lover's identity will be revealed eventually when I've decided exactly what direction this story will take from here on out. (It's not a cliffie, HD. I promise! It's just a surprise.) This chapter wasn't very exciting, but it was needed to set up Matt and Shannon's frames of mind. Sorry if I bored any of you silly. 


	16. Jeff's aching head

"Why are they following Matt and me around, Jeff?"  
  
Jeff shook his head to help wake up. It was too early in the morning for this. Jay had called extra early, too. This meant that he was pissed.  
  
"Who?" Jeff finally asked weakly. "I don't have the foggiest idea what you're talking about, Jay."  
  
"Shawn and Lance," Jay growled. "They've been following us around all week and Matt's beginning to get antsy."  
  
Damn! Those two don't know when to quit! He thought he had an understanding with them when they met over this. If Matt found out so many people knew about his plans, he'd leave wrestling altogether. And wrestling was his life. Jeff had to protect his brother even as he had to stop him. Talk about impossible odds.  
  
"Look, I told them not to make any waves, Jay," Jeff said tiredly. "They said they wouldn't do anything unless Matt made a move. Has he?"  
  
"Like I wouldn't warn you!" Jay huffed. "We've been over this, Jeff. I'm on your side on this but I don't want Matt to get spooked. If he catches on or if other people notice those two and make comments, how will we ever help him save face?"  
  
"Well, I didn't tell them to do anything," Jeff insisted. "Hold tight. I'll try to find out what the hell is going on."  
  
"Fine. But I'll be waiting for your call!"  
  
Jay severed the connection abruptly and Jeff rubbed his eyes before punching Lance's number into his phone.  
  
"Hello?" Lance's chipper voice came through at a higher decibel than Jeff would have preferred.  
  
"What the hell are you and Shawn doing following Matt and Jay around?" Jeff demanded without preamble.  
  
"And a good morning to you, too, Mr. Grouch."  
  
"Just answer me," Jeff hissed. "I got an early morning how-do-you-do from Jay and he's pissed. You told me you would let me handle things as long as Matt didn't try anything. How am I supposed to settle this thing quietly with you two nosing around and making Matt suspicious?"  
  
"We're not 'nosing around' at all," Lance growled in exasperation. "We're spending quality time with him."  
  
"What do you mean by that?"  
  
"I thought it would be more difficult for Matt to plan my demise if I got closer to him," Lance explained. "What's the harm?"  
  
"The problem is that Jay says Matt's not liking it."  
  
"Maybe it's working then."  
  
"Or maybe he'll stop socializing and become a recluse altogether."  
  
"You don't believe that, do you?" Lance sounded skeptical. "Look, we can't just sit around and not do nothing. You have to let us at least try to reach him in our own way."  
  
"You don't understand, do you? He'll leave wrestling. I really mean that exactly as how it sounds. He'll leave and his job IS his life right now. I cannot stress to you enough how important it is that we don't spook him."  
  
"I understand the situation," Lance sighed. "But I can't just stay out of it. He's your brother and I respect your concern. But this is my relationship he's targeting. I can't just stand by."  
  
"I can sympathize with you," Jeff said calmly. "But we need to be very careful with Matt's ego."  
  
Silence greeted him as Lance pondered what he'd said. Jeff hoped that he'd made his point sufficiently clear. It wasn't easy defending Matt when his actions violated every rule of friendship. Lance and Shawn had no reason to want to preserve Matt's feelings and he wasn't even sure if it was okay to ask this of them, but he had to.  
  
"Look, I'll promise to let up a little," Lance conceded, "but that's all. I'm still going to make Matt see that I'm a human being and his friend."  
  
"So, you'll stop following them everywhere?"  
  
"For the time being," Lance replied. "But we will keep an eye on Matt and I'm going to still make friendly overtures."  
  
"But not frequently, right?" Jeff felt like he was negotiating a contract.  
  
"No, not as frequently."  
  
"Thanks, man," Jeff breathed a sigh of relief. "I know I have no right to ask this of you. I appreciate you working with me."  
  
"I just want Matt to be okay again," Lance said sadly. "I don't like being a reason for his unhappiness."  
  
"You are far more charitable than any other man might be."  
  
"Maybe. But I am who I am."  
  
They said their goodbyes and Jeff went to the bathroom to freshen himself up before calling Jay. The bastard woke him up before ten. Let him wait a few minutes. Jeff showered and dressed before picking up the phone again. Jay was more than relieved to hear that Lance and Shawn would ease up a bit. He'd rather they abandon the plan altogether, but at least they were willing to compromise. When Jay hung up, Jeff dialed his lover's number.  
  
"Hey, baby," the man said without even a hello.  
  
"How'd you know it was me?" Jeff asked.  
  
"Got my caller ID fixed finally," he replied. "Jericho took me to a great place yesterday."  
  
"I'm glad." Jeff then told him everything that had transpired that morning.  
  
"Lance and Shawn need to calm down," his lover muttered darkly. "We'll never keep Matt's face if this keeps up."  
  
"I know. that's what I told them."  
  
"At least you got to them before it went too far."  
  
"I guess."  
  
"What's bothering you, babe?"  
  
Jeff should have known better than to try to hide his worries. His mate was very sensitive to his moods, especially in light of what had happened when they first got together.  
  
"Shannon," Jeff murmured. "It's bothering me that I'm being so careful about Matty after what he did to Shannon."  
  
"You couldn't stop that from happening. You tried your best."  
  
"But he used him like a toy!"  
  
"You couldn't have known what he was doing to Shannon, Jeff. You tried to make them both see some sense, but Matt's intentions weren't known then. If you did know, you would have stopped him, right?"  
  
"Hell yes! I probably would have beaten the sense into Matt myself!"  
  
"See? I know it's easy to blame yourself after everything's happened, but it really isn't your fault."  
  
"But how do I protect him now?"  
  
"Who? Shannon?"  
  
"Who else? Matt can take care of himself in the romance department. Well, usually."  
  
"Who are you protecting him from?"  
  
"Adam."  
  
"Jeff, you said yourself you're going to have to trust Adam with Shannon's recovery if you have any chance of saving Matt."  
  
"I know."  
  
"What's changed? Has Adam done or said something?"  
  
"No, nothing like that," the younger Hardy sighed. "But he was so cruel to Jay."  
  
"Cruel how? He didn't hit him."  
  
"But he shunned him in public and only wanted him when no one else was around."  
  
"I agree it was harsh," the other said on a sigh. "And not unlike myself."  
  
"I wasn't saying that, Shane," Jeff replied. "And we've already settled that."  
  
"But there's no escaping the fact that if I'd been more honest with both of us about my feelings from the get go, your relationship with Randy would never have happened and we'd have been together sooner. Furthermore, you'd still be with WWE."  
  
"No, that's not necessarily the case."  
  
"We both know you left because I almost gave you a nervous breakdown."  
  
"Shane, will you STOP already? That's not true. I gave myself the stress, not you. By that time you'd already accepted that you loved me. You just didn't know if I would leave Randy if I knew."  
  
"I know we've been over it, but I still can't help but feel like I could have done things differently. And maybe had you with me all the time instead of waiting home for me."  
  
Jeff shook his head and thought back to the way things began. Shane hadn't known he was gay until he'd seen Jeff and Randy flirting in the catering room one day. Jeff couldn't believe the look of jealousy that appeared on his old friend's face. But when Jeff went to question Shane about it later the other man denied it, thus Jeff turned his attentions back to Randy. So much happened afterwards, it hurt Jeff to ponder it.  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I know. I love you, too."  
  
"I don't think you really believe I do, though. Not if you keep second guessing us."  
  
"Yes, I do know," Shane said quietly. "I just need to know that you forgive me and can trust me."  
  
"I already forgave you and I trust you with my life."  
  
"So, if I can be trusted after all of that, why can't Adam?"  
  
Jeff stopped to think about that. Shane always had a way of making him think things over in a different way. But Jeff knew that his lover still felt self conscious about their relationship and all of the hardship they'd endured, some of it needlessly.  
  
"You are a slick one, Mr. Helms," he grinned. "I guess he deserves a chance."  
  
"Like me."  
  
"You deserve the world," Jeff whispered.  
  
"You are my world."  
  
****************************************  
  
NOTE: Okay, are you all happy now? (LOL) After more than one complaint about not knowing the identity of Jeff's lover, I decided to move his debut up. Are you thrilled? Do you hate the pairing? As always, reviews are much treasured! 


	17. Jay's hidden pain

Rob watched in amusement as Matt move warily away from him at the bar. He and Shane had started flirting with the older Hardy for fun, but it was humorous as hell to see how Matt reacted to it. Even though he was safe. Well, he was safe enough from Shane at least. Rob knew Shane was seriously involved with Jeff Hardy, but he was the only the one aware of it. Shane and Jeff had sworn him to secrecy when he accidentally walked in on them making out in the locker room towards the end of Jeff's employment.  
  
He couldn't blame them for wanting to keep a low profile right now, as Randy and Chris were still smarting over the fallout of Jeff's decision to leave. Poor Chris, Rob mused. He'd hoped the blond would be able to get over his depression with time away from Jeff, but recovery was slow. Some forms of pain ran deeper than others, and it had already wrecked any possible chance Chris had in a relationship with Randy.  
  
But Rob couldn't understand why Jeff didn't want to tell Matt about the relationship. From what he'd seen in the short time they'd worked together, the Hardy brothers were very close. And Shane was Matt's best friend, so he couldn't see why they hid it from him. Maybe they wanted to get themselves on a sure track before they went public. This was the only answer Rob could come up with. Whatever they decided, it was cool with him. He understood Shane well and knew how hard it was for him to accept his sexuality.  
  
Matt's eyes kept veering back to Rob and the laid back martial artist would just smile in silent invitation. His target's eyes would widen and he'd scurry further away from the bar in an attempt to save himself. Matt was a cutie, especially when he was on the run. He wondered why Shane insisted on keeping tabs on his lover's brother. Rob had dismissed the idea that Shane was attracted to Matt. He only saw humor in his friend's eyes when they ganged up on the dark haired man. No, Shane could love only Jeff these days. Rob didn't want to be the one to break it to him, but he had a feeling it would always be that way. Let him figure that out on his own, though.  
  
Jay suddenly appeared behind Matt and they both looked over at Rob for a second. He flashed them a playful pout and they retreated from the room altogether. Yes, this sure was shaping up to be a fun night.  
  
**************************************  
  
Adam toyed with his cell phone absently while he thought over what he wanted to do. Shannon had gone out for the evening with Chris and Terry, joining Rey and his friends. Adam planned it this way. He didn't want Shannon to hear the conversation he was about to have. The one he'd been dreading but at the same time anticipating. Jay. He knew he had to set things straight with his former lover now or risk losing his old friend forever. He also risked Jay's reaction to Shannon when he and Adam finally stopped dancing around their attraction and got together.  
  
Adam knew it would happen even if Shannon didn't. He wouldn't push the small blond, as promised, but he could see it in Shannon's eyes. The younger man had come to care about Adam a lot more than either had thought he would. But Adam would let Shannon come to him when he was ready and not because he was seduced. He didn't want the smaller man to ever think their relationship was based on anything less than love. Adam knew Jeff was right. He did love Shannon deeply and he would only do what was best for him. It was good to know that the younger man had developed his own feelings for Adam. The tall Canadian didn't know how he would handle rejection at this point.  
  
He finally stopped twirling the phone and punched in the numbers. This wasn't going to fun.  
  
**************************************  
  
"Man, did you SEE how he looked at us?" Matt demanded as he and Jay got back to the hotel room. "Now I know why women complain about aggressive guys so much."  
  
"He wasn't looking at me," smirked Jay. "Thank God I only have one stalker to worry about."  
  
"Yeah, but Jericho's a doozy."  
  
"Eh. He's less intimidating than Van Dam," Jay shrugged. "He looked like he was eying a steak after a fast."  
  
"Thanks a lot," Matt grumbled as he shoved some workout clothes into a duffle bag. "I'm going to the place he'd least likely be at right now."  
  
"They gym, perhaps?"  
  
"Yeah," Matt laughed. "See you in a couple of hours."  
  
"All right," Jay warned as Matt opened the door. "You be careful out there."  
  
"Sure you don't want to come?" Matt looked over his shoulder. "Jerky's probably at the bar with the other stalkers right now."  
  
"I'm good," Jay replied with a wave of his hand. "Leno's almost on and I like the stupid headlines."  
  
"Suit yourself."  
  
Jay clicked the television on as the door closed. He was watching the sports report on the news when his phone rang. He checked the caller ID before clicking it on. Adam? No fucking way! Something must have happened. He hadn't heard from Adam in months. He muted the television and clicked on the phone.  
  
"What happened?" he demanded.  
  
"Nothing yet," Adam said quietly. "Does something earth-shattering have to happen for me to call you now?"  
  
"Uh no," Jay fumbled mentally kicking himself. "I just wasn't expecting you to call." Good one, Jay, he chided. You don't sound desperate at all, now do you?  
  
"I've been wanting to call you for a long time, Jay," Adam replied. "I just didn't know what to say."  
  
"Until now?"  
  
"Well, yeah," Adam sighed. "Until all of this shit started."  
  
Ah. So that's it. Adam was protecting his precious Shannon. Jay bit back a tear and held his breath. He should have known Adam wasn't calling to set things right with him. He didn't mean enough to the other man when they were together, why would things be different now?  
  
Everybody was so concerned for Shannon now. Jay hadn't had anything against him before. Hell, he was the first to call Matt to the carpet for what he'd done to the small blond. But now that Adam and Shannon were spending so much time together, Jay couldn't help feeling a little spiteful. Adam, even only in a platonic state, has already shown so much more emotion to Shannon than in all of his years as Jay's lover. And Jay could only wonder what Shannon was giving him that Jay couldn't. He could feel the sad tears silently slip down his cheeks as he tried to collect himself.  
  
"Are you still there?" Adam asked cautiously.  
  
"Yeah," Jay said softly trying to cover his sorrow. "I am."  
  
"I know I can't even begin to apologize for the way I treated you, Jay."  
  
Oh, no you can't, Jay thought.  
  
"But I have to try," Adam went on.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Why now?" Jay clarified. "What's so different about now than say last month?"  
  
"I'm not sure I follow."  
  
"It's Shannon, isn't it?" Jay couldn't keep the pain out of his voice. His tears started to flow heavily and he couldn't stop them. He hated himself for letting Adam see his weakness, but he couldn't help it. He was hurting and the other man needed to know what this was doing to him. Sure, Matt was wrong to hurt Shannon. But why did Adam have to be the one pick up the pieces? "You're afraid I'll ruin your chances with him."  
  
"Jay, that's not what this is about," Adam pleaded. "I promise you that I've been trying to figure out how to fix things. And he and I aren't even together."  
  
"Not yet, you're not. But you will be. We all can see that. Even those of us on Raw that never see you know it'll happen."  
  
"Shannon's NOT why I called you, Jay," Adam said softly. "I promise you. I only want to settle things with you."  
  
"So that you can start your new relationship without guilt?"  
  
"Actually, so that I can have my best friend back," Adam responded sadly. "You can't imagine how much I miss you."  
  
"You miss the friendship, then?" Jay asked in a deceptively calm voice.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You miss the talking, the hockey games we used to go to, the concerts?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"But you don't miss the love."  
  
Adam didn't respond to that so Jay went on fueled by a rage that had been building inside him for years.  
  
"You don't miss all the times I used to try to cuddle into you at night, only to be pushed away. After a while, I used to wait until you were asleep to do it, so you wouldn't do that to me. I'll bet you don't miss the arguments we used to have about any little touch I gave you in public, do you, Adam? Do you have any idea how worthless I felt when you let loose on me about that?"  
  
"Yes," Adam finally said in a small voice.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said yes," Adam sniffled. "I knew I was hurting you, Jay. I couldn't give you what you needed from me then."  
  
"But you can now?"  
  
"I . . . what?"  
  
"You're capable of it now?" Jay scoffed. "Just not with me. It comes down to that, doesn't it? You just couldn't love me."  
  
"I did love you."  
  
"No, you didn't," Jay cried. "But you made damn sure I loved only you. I couldn't have your heart, but you wouldn't let go of mine."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I can't talk about this now, Adam," Jay sniffled. "I have to go."  
  
He hung up the phone and buried his head in his pillow to cry his eyes out. This definitely wasn't a good night for him.  
  
**************************************  
  
NOTE: THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! (I just love reviews! They give me a warm fuzzy feeling!) Now that I've revealed Shane's identity, I see that one or two of you want Shane and Jeff's complete story. Especially xtremediva. I was going to wrap their story in with this one, but I think you're right. It's enough to do on its own, so watch for a prequel coming soon. (I'll try to write it while writing this one, but I'm not sure if the updates will be as frequent. Don't pelt me with beanie babies! I'll do my very best!) And to Cat Lea Takersdarkone: No pressure, huh? You only mentioned you hope I can make you like the pairing twice! Well, I'll view that as a challenge and start spinning my storyline web! Now, review for me! (Pretty please?) 


	18. Adam's guilt

Jay sniffled a few more times before picking his phone back up. He couldn't stand the pain he was still feeling, even after his long cry. He had to get it out of his system. He had to talk it out. He punched in the numbers quickly and waited for an answer.  
  
"Hello, Jeff?" he half whispered into the phone. "It's Jay."  
  
"Jay?" the Southern drawl came sleepily through the receiver. "I didn't recognize your voice. What's wrong?"  
  
"Matt's fine."  
  
"I figured that," Jeff replied. "I meant what's wrong with you."  
  
Jay was quiet for a while, trying to collect his thoughts. He didn't want to just start babbling, even though he knew Jeff would understand. He'd always understood. In fact, Jeff tried to take Adam's place as Jay's friend and confidant after the break. And, surprisingly, he was able to ground Jay and keep him from going off the deep end completely. Jay had always envied Shannon a little for his place as Jeff's best friend. Jeff was very loyal to him and would never have done anything to jeopardize Shannon's trust. Not like Adam. Jeff was the only one he could go to with his pain now.  
  
"Adam just called me."  
  
"Adam called you?" Jeff was instantly alert. "What'd he say?"  
  
Jay paused again. He had to be careful not to bring his jealously of Shannon into the conversation. Jeff would understand it, but he would also argue for the small blond. And Jay needed Jeff more right now than Shannon, so he didn't want to offend him unnecessarily. When he decided he'd had himself under control he continued. He recounted the conversation with Adam, leaving out the bit about Shannon. Jeff listened attentively and sympathetically.  
  
"So, I don't know what to think," Jay ended his story.  
  
"What's there for you to think?" Jeff asked. "You should let him do all of that."  
  
"All of what?"  
  
"The thinking, the explaining," the younger Hardy listed. "He was the one who caused the pain, he should be the one to make it right."  
  
Jay was quiet.  
  
"It's Shannon that's got you upset this time, isn't it?" Jeff asked.  
  
Jay shook his head, unseen by Jeff, in annoyance. He should have known better than to try to keep something from his friend. Jeff could see right through him and often did. It helped in times when Jay was in too much pain to think for himself. But right now it was downright irritating. How did he do that? Jay sighed and tried to think of the best way to answer Jeff's query. Finally, he just gave in.  
  
"I know it's not Shannon's fault, Jeff," he sniffled. "I really do. But why couldn't Adam have loved me enough to feel that way about me when we were together?"  
  
Jeff was the one to hold his tongue this time. Jay silently waited for his response. He hoped and prayed the other man wouldn't start defending the small blond. It was so important that Jeff not reject him for Shannon right now.  
  
"I think he did love you in his way," Jeff finally said. "I don't think it has anything to do with him loving Shannon more."  
  
Jay was relieved by Jeff's insightful response, but his heart plunged when he heard his friend refer to Adam's love for Shannon. Inside, Jay knew it was probably true. But he never wanted to admit to it.  
  
"He just wasn't ready give up his security for you just yet."  
  
"Well, when would he ever have been?" Jay demanded.  
  
"Truthfully?" Jeff asked, apparently expecting no answer. Jeff never sugarcoated the truth for Jay in the past. It was one of things Jay respected most. "I don't think he ever would have if you hadn't left him."  
  
Jay's stomach lurched. So there it was. And it was the truth. There was never any hope of saving that relationship. Adam had grown too comfortable with the status quo and could only be shocked into action. Jay never stood a chance. The tears began falling again down his cheek as he listened to Jeff's soothing voice comforting him as always, letting him know that he was important and not as worthless as he was feeling. Just like old times.  
  
**********************************  
  
Adam stared at the phone dejectedly. How could he fix this mess with Jay when the other man couldn't even speak to him without becoming reduced to tears? Adam knew he'd been a complete and utter bastard to Jay when they were together. He didn't try to deny it. But this conversation hammered it home that much more. How could he even begin to think he deserved another chance at love when he'd massacred the last one so savagely? And was there a danger that he could repeat the process with Shannon? No. That would be the final tragic end to the young blond's heart. He had to avoid hurting him at all costs.  
  
But Jay was right. Adam remembered the times he pushed his lover away when Jay only wanted comfort or affection. He did berate Jay for any little touch given in public, regardless of whether it seemed romantic or just friendly. Hell, he'd let Jericho and Matt touch him more than Jay. The other man had done nothing more than try to show him how much he loved him. And Adam, worried about others' perceptions, shunned him. It was little comfort that when he finally did come out of the closet to his family they accepted it well and told him that his happiness was most important to them. It was already too late to save his relationship. Jay had already closed himself off emotionally to Adam and refused to let him back in.  
  
He knew the final fight was the last straw for Jay. He'd been begging Adam for months to commit to at least a casual relationship in public. Adam steadfastly refused, saying it would kill his mother. The hollow, defeated look that appeared in Jay's eyes still haunted him after all of this time. That's when the distance really began to become noticeable. They went through the motions of their closeted relationship for a few more months, but no matter what Adam said or did, Jay stopped responding.  
  
Finally, the last blowout fight happened. Jay said if Adam couldn't commit to an actual relationship, there was no reason to continue. He was tired of playing the closeted concubine to Adam's sultan. Adam was shocked that the other man set down such a final dictate. He couldn't remember a time when Jay wasn't a part of his life and didn't really believe his lover would go through with it. When Jay moved out, Adam still thought he would come around eventually.  
  
Months passed and Jay would avoid him at work except when they had to plan matches, perform or do publicity. Adam tried to apologize and beg forgiveness, but Jay would only give him the hollow stare. When Adam finally told his family, he was relieved and thought that Jay would return to him when he told him. It didn't happen, though. Jay only muttered, "Good for you." And walked away. Away from Adam for good. The taller Canadian knew then that the rift couldn't be repaired and he was too late.  
  
Now Jay wasn't even willing to try to mend their friendship. Adam thought that if enough time elapsed he could at least get that back. But again, Jay was denying him. He meant what he'd said apparently. Jay actually felt there was nothing left worth salvaging from the whole mess. And, worse, he even believed that the only reason Adam wanted to make any amends at all was to preserve his chances at a real relationship with Shannon, something Jay had pled for from Adam numerous times over the years.  
  
Adam had truly broken Jay during their final months together, and he hadn't even tried to preserve his feelings. Why then should Jay care about Adam's feelings? And would he really stop Matt from hurting Shannon, a man perceived to be his successor, again? It was obvious Jay wasn't expecting a relationship at this point. But he was probably also hoping Adam didn't get Shannon. So, not only did Adam have to worry about repeating his own past behavior and hurting Shannon himself. He now had to worry about his former lover's intentions, too.  
  
The door clicked open and Shannon walked into the room, followed by Terry and Chris. They all took one look at Adam and knew the mood had drastically changed from earlier that day. But Chris and Terry knew what had probably caused it. The small blond did not. He looked at his roommate carefully, seeming like he was trying to decide how to greet him. And Adam tried to paste on a neutral expression in order to make sure that Shannon didn't find out what had happened. He needed time to sort his own past behavior out from his true self. He needed to be sure he wasn't a bigger danger to Shannon than Matt.  
  
**********************************  
  
NOTE: More angsty feelings here. Do you like? Please review. I'm formulating the plotline for the prequel but don't know exactly when it will make its first appearance. Watch this space! (LOL) 


	19. Doubts and spins

Shannon tried to convince Adam he didn't suspect anything was wrong by excitedly telling him all about his evening out. Chris and Terry interjected points here and there, but remained silent for the most part. Whatever had upset Adam, those two knew about it. And it was a safe bet they wouldn't tell him, either. He already suspected he would have a lot of trouble getting it out of Adam and the direct approach probably wouldn't work too well. Adam was very private sometimes. And Shannon suspected it had something to do with Jay. He didn't know what gave him that feeling, but it was strong.  
  
"And so then Rey grabbed Cena's cap and ran around the bar with it like a lunatic," Shannon smiled, hoping Adam didn't read the worry in his eyes.  
  
"How did Mr. Thuganomics take that?" Adam smiled back.  
  
"Not well," Chris laughed. "Rey had to hide behind Terry for the rest of the night. Even after Cena got his hat back."  
  
"I don't know why those two don't just jump each other already," Terry muttered darkly.  
  
"Cena's jonesing for Rey?" Adam asked.  
  
"Oh yeah," Chris grinned. "Big time."  
  
"I knew Rey wanted John," Shannon chuckled. "But I didn't know the attraction was mutual."  
  
"It definitely is," Terry said. "But when they met, Rey was still going out with Jamie and John wasn't a well known star yet, so he thought he didn't have a chance."  
  
"Jamie was a casual thing," Shannon informed them all. "In fact, I'm surprised they lasted past a one-nighter, what with Rey preferring heavyweights. And he doesn't care about popularity contests."  
  
"Well, Cena didn't know that," Chris said. "Or, trust me, he would have let Rey know he was interested."  
  
"Maybe we could fix them up," Terry mused.  
  
"Matchmaking school girls," Adam coughed under his breath.  
  
"What was that?" Chris gave the tall Canadian a sharp look.  
  
"Nothing," Adam said then grinned at Shannon. "Something caught in my throat."  
  
"Sure," the Rabid Wolverine looked skeptical. "I know when we've been insulted." He looked over at Terry dramatically. "Let's go, honey."  
  
Terry laughed and took Chris' hand as they both exited.  
  
"Well, you sure know how to clear a room," Shannon giggled as he plunked himself down on the end of Adam's bed. "Now that we're alone, what's wrong?"  
  
Adam looked suddenly uncomfortable and Shannon could see he'd taken him a little off guard. Good, he thought.  
  
"What do you mean?" the taller man asked looking away.  
  
"You know what I mean," the small blond grabbed Adam's chin and pulled his gaze back. "You can't fool me. You weren't upset when I left and you acted like you were determined to do something as soon as I was gone. I can only deduce that it would be an unpleasant, or at least an uncomfortable, task. So, what happened?"  
  
"I'm really not ready to talk about it yet, Shan," Adam sighed, his eyes pleading with Shannon to let this drop.  
  
"Are you just not ready," the small blond challenged, "or are you afraid I'll change my mind about our friendship?"  
  
The flash in Adam's eyes told Shannon it was more the latter than the former, but he denied it. "I'm just not ready yet," Adam breathed softly. "I'll tell you when I am."  
  
Knowing he couldn't get anything out of his tall roommate short of demanding it, Shannon nodded and went over to his own bed.  
  
"Feel like watching something freaky tonight?" he asked Adam as he clicked on the television.  
  
The other man shrugged so Shannon turned the channel to the movie station and settled in for the horror marathon the station offered. They both watched in silence.  
  
********************************  
  
Matt opened his door and was greeted to a darkened room. That's weird, he thought. Jay must have fallen asleep. He walked over to the bathroom and clicked on the light to give him something to see by but not to disturb his roommate. The light shone dimly on Jay as he lay sprawled across his bed. Matt noted the dried tear tracks running down the blond Canadian's cheeks and wondered what had transpired since he'd left. He quietly went about a quick shower and threw on a tee and some shorts before crawling into bed, on the way to which he stubbed his toe and bit back his cry in an effort to let Jay sleep. When he finally got into bed, there was a rustling from the other direction.  
  
"Matt?" Jay whispered.  
  
"Yeah, Jay," he whispered back. "Sorry I woke you."  
  
"I wasn't totally asleep anyway," Jay replied. "Can you do me a favor?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Without questioning it?"  
  
"As long it's legal," Matt smiled in the darkness. Jay was quiet for a few long seconds.  
  
"Would you just hold me tonight?" he finally asked timidly. "It's nothing personal. I just need to feel someone next to me."  
  
Matt frowned at the 'nothing personal' part of the request, not exactly sure why it bothered him. He understood the occasional need for human contact, though. That was another advantage to sleeping with Shannon. Knowing he wasn't alone helped, even if he wasn't with who he wanted to be with.  
  
"I can do that," he said as he stepped out of his bed and into Jay's.  
  
He gathered the blond into his arms and held on tightly. It felt good to be doing something Jay asked rather than arguing, as they did a lot these days. Jay sighed against Matt's shoulder and curled into him, gradually falling back to sleep. But rest didn't come easily for Matt that night and his guilty conscience chose that moment to make its triumphant return. Matt didn't know when he'd begun to regret treating Jay so badly, but the niggling feeling wouldn't let him be. He was stuck now trying to think of a way to re-motivate himself into proceeding with his plans.  
  
********************************  
  
Jeff was still troubled by Jay's phone call long after they'd hung up. His doubts about Adam persisted, even though he'd read the emotion in the tall man's eyes that night he'd visited him and Shannon to tell them about Matt. He knew that Adam had learned his lesson well from the fallout of his relationship with Jay and that the other man would do whatever he could to make amends. But what he'd said to Jay tonight was true. Adam wouldn't have come to any realizations unless Jay forced his hand. Perhaps there could have been a time after Adam told his family about his sexuality that he and Jay might have made another start. But Jay was too hurt and broken by that point. Too much pain had been suffered for him to take Adam back.  
  
Jeff understood that, and also remembered what Jay had gone through and how he wanted to beat the shit out of the tall Canadian himself when Jay lay crying in his arms after the particularly nasty arguments. How could he even consider trusting this same man with Shannon's fragile heart? Yet that's what Lance asked him to do. Jeff had questioned the man again about the wisdom of this decision, but Lance explained that it was too late not to trust him. Shannon obviously already cared for him or he wouldn't be staying with him. Jeff couldn't argue that point.  
  
The phone rang as Jeff was trying to settle back into bed.  
  
"Hello?" he asked sleepily, hoping it wasn't Jay again. He wanted his friend to find some sleep tonight.  
  
"Jeff?" Shannon asked uncertainly. "Did I wake you?"  
  
"No, Shan. I wasn't asleep yet. What's up?"  
  
"Adam's acting strange," the small blond replied. "I don't know why he won't talk to me about it."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"About his phone call with Jay."  
  
"You know about that?" Jeff asked.  
  
"I guessed it," Shannon said and filled Jeff in on his own evening's activities.  
  
"Where's Adam now?"  
  
"Asleep upstairs," Shannon sighed. "I came down here to call you so he wouldn't hear me. How do you know about it?"  
  
"Jay called me."  
  
"Can you tell me what happened?"  
  
"Shouldn't you wait for Adam to be ready?"  
  
"I think he's afraid he's going to hurt me like he did Jay," Shannon said softly. "He won't be ready on his own."  
  
Jeff marveled at how perceptive his younger friend was. He'd guessed the scenario without even knowing both sides. Maybe Lance was right. Maybe Shannon did know what's best for him after all.  
  
"I can tell you what Jay told me, but don't forget it's one-sided," Jeff warned. "I'm sure Adam's perspective is a bit different."  
  
He then recounted his time on the phone with Jay and Shannon listened patiently. When he was finished they both sat in silence for a while, digesting the facts.  
  
"Do you think he'd do that to me?" Shannon finally broke the silence.  
  
"I don't know," Jeff admitted. "The fact that he did it to his best friend doesn't sit well with me, though."  
  
"Yeah," the small blond said absently. "But we're overlooking one thing."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"The fact that he's worried about it at all," Shannon replied. "That's a good sign at least."  
  
Jeff smiled. He hadn't looked at it that way.  
  
********************************  
  
NOTE: Thanks for the reviews! I love reviews! I save them and reread them and wallpaper my wall with them! (Well, okay, maybe not that last one.) Is the plotline still pleasing? I've turned up the heat a little bit, you know. I thought you'd like the little spins. Let me know! 


	20. More thickening plots

The morning light streaming over his face woke Jay up from a peaceful slumber. He felt arms tighten around him when he tried to move and looked questioningly in the direction of the warm body next to him. Matt Hardy was still fast asleep next to him. The events of the previous night slowly trickled back into Jay's mind. Sighing, he decided not to extricate himself from Matt's arms just yet and cuddled back into him so as not to wake him. It felt nice to have someone hold him, even if Matt was just doing so because Jay asked him to. Why couldn't Adam have been like this when they were together? Why could he only find affection from men who weren't interested in dating him?  
  
There had been no serious relationships since he and Adam broke up. Just a few unfulfilling one night stands when he was too drunk to think straight. The worst had been with Scott Steiner, that man didn't seem to take "no" for an answer. Jay hadn't wanted to sleep with him in the first place. He'd just had the misfortune of running into Scott on his way back from obliterating himself in the bar again. It was not too long after he'd come to Raw and he was still second-guessing his decision to stay away from Adam for good. Steiner had made his attraction known as soon as he joined WWE and Jay tried to keep away from him because of the awkward feelings they produced inside of him.  
  
Well, that night he hadn't counted on being backed up against a wall and kissed so brutally. Inside, part of him told him to fight and run. But another part just wanted to feel like he was attractive. So he let Scott lead him into his hotel room. He was so drunk he couldn't really remember what had happened after that. He got up the next morning before Scott and quickly dressed to leave before the other man awoke. The next few weeks were more awkward than ever with Scott throwing Jay hungry looks and laughing with Booker T in the corner. Jeff tried to intervene, but odds were small with the two of them against Steiner and Booker. Finally, Chris, seeing how upset his friend and partner got, had enough of it. He told Scott to keep his eyes to himself or risk losing them. When Scott looked like he would argue, Drew backed Chris up, followed by Shane and Rob. That's how their little clique solidified. All were friends beforehand, but it was more casual. Now they watched out for each other.  
  
Jay wondered why Chris suddenly took his teasing so far lately, though. He had been in a pretty heavy relationship with Randy until recently and Jay wondered if it was just a backlash from that breakup that caused the behavior. Randy had been seriously involved with Jeff just before the younger Hardy's departure from the company. Jay still didn't know the whole story behind why Jeff left, either. He'd asked several times, but the other man was evasive and would only say that he felt burnt out and in need of a recharge. Randy walked around sulking for a few weeks until Chris finally decided to tell him he cared about him, well he was pushed into that by Trish and Amy. But Randy seemed happy with the news, so everyone thought things would work out great. Unfortunately, Chris was just a rebound relationship for the Evolution member and dumped as soon as Dave Batista came back. And Chris and Jeff no longer spoke, either, which further confused Jay. One day he would find out what happened.  
  
"You're thinking is waking me up," Matt muttered sleepily next to his ear.  
  
"Oh, uh, sorry," Jay offered, pulling out of Matt's arms.  
  
Matt pulled him back down and settled him in next to him again then closed his eyes.  
  
"What are you doing?" Jay asked curiously.  
  
"You're warm," said Matt not opening his eyes. "I'm comfy. And it's way too early to get up."  
  
"But."  
  
"But nothing," Matt looked at him finally. "I don't know what went on last night while I was gone, but it's obvious something bad happened and you didn't get any sleep while I was out. You did sleep when I held you. So you will sleep with me now."  
  
Jay was very confused at the sudden concern but decided not to fight the issue. Matt was already halfway back to sleep and Jay closed his eyes to join him.  
  
*******************************  
  
Rob went down to the hotel dining area and looked around at the breakfast offerings for something resembling a healthy meal. He finally settled on a vegetable omelet made with Egg Beaters and a bran muffin. He took his plate over to an empty table and began to eat. It was pretty early, but Rob liked to take advantage of the solitude sometimes. He was contemplating whether he would drive solo to the next arena or bum a ride when another plate was set down across from him. Looking up he grinned at Chris Jericho who looked down at him in question.  
  
"Please join me," Rob answered the silent request. "I thought you'd still be sleeping."  
  
"I could say the same thing for you, Mr. Mai Tai."  
  
"Hey, don't make fun of my favorite drink!" Rob growled playfully. "What's the matter? You couldn't sleep?"  
  
Chris frowned and looked down at his scrambled eggs sadly. Rob felt like kicking himself. He knew Chris was still having a hard time getting over Randy, and that was probably what was bothering him today. Randy and Dave were at the bar last night towards the end and Chris made an excuse to leave early because of it.  
  
"Sorry, man," Rob said softly.  
  
"It's okay," the Canadian sighed. "I'll have to get used to seeing them together sooner or later."  
  
"Damn insensitive of him to flaunt Dave at you, though," Rob muttered angrily. Chris was a good friend and he didn't like to see Randy hurt him over and over again.  
  
"I know you think he's being deliberately cruel, but he isn't," Chris said. "He was very honest with me throughout the relationship and when we broke up. I knew it was too soon for him to get seriously involved with anyone, but I took the risk anyway."  
  
Rob listened to Chris defend Randy with a measure of disgust mixed with sympathy. "Why?"  
  
Chris shrugged and thought for a moment. "I guess I was hoping to get him into me and over Jeff. I was never very patient when it came to waiting for things I wanted. Comes with being an only child."  
  
Rob nodded as he chewed on his muffin. "Besides, you have another distraction now that needs your attention."  
  
"Matt or Jay?" Chris smiled.  
  
Ron shrugged. "Do you know why Shane has us following them around?"  
  
"Nope. I was hoping you could tell me."  
  
"Beats me," Rob shrugged again. "All I know is Shane wants us to watch where they go outside the ring."  
  
"I see you've been having a little too much fun in that department lately," Chris grinned.  
  
"Who, me?" Rob feigned innocence. "Nah."  
  
"Yeah," Chris laughed. "I see you watching Matt everywhere we go. Between you and Shane that boy is going to have a nervous breakdown."  
  
"We can't help it if he's so damn cute! And he's even cuter when he's running away from us."  
  
"Have you decided which one of you gets him if you catch him?"  
  
"Dude, I always get the prize," Rob put on his most pompous RVD face as he pointed to himself with both hands, one waving a muffin. Chris burst out laughing. It was good to see that again, Rob decided. "Anyway, your target is just as antsy."  
  
"Jay?" Chris asked as he recovered. "I'm just trying to help him feel worthwhile again. His ego took a major beating over the last few months he and Adam were together and he still hasn't recovered."  
  
"You ever going to tell me about that?"  
  
"Adam?" Chris asked and Rob nodded. "It's a long story, but in a nutshell: Adam was afraid to come out of the closet and made Jay feel like garbage. Usually Ad's a good guy, but no one who saw what happened can quite forgive what he reduced Jay to. I just want Jay to feel like a normal human again. Not like a slut, like Steiner did, like a regular, healthy, attractive man. I wouldn't sleep with him, though."  
  
"Why not? He's a cutie, too."  
  
"He is," Chris nodded. "But if I did that, I'd be repeating what Randy did to me. And that's not happening if I can help it."  
  
"Well, you've succeeded in making him feel stalked."  
  
"It's an improvement, anyway," the blond smiled. "Seriously, are you and Shane going to come to blows over Matt if he ever stops running?"  
  
"Nah," Rob smiled easily. It was nice to have an honest conversation about this, even if he couldn't reveal exactly why. That would betray Jeff's trust and probably hurt Chris in some way, since the two still weren't speaking yet. "Shane and I already talked it over. He says he'll graciously bow out if it comes to that."  
  
"And you believe THAT?" Chris guffawed. "Shane doesn't easily relinquish something he wants."  
  
"I agree," Rob replied. "But I think he knows already what he really wants."  
  
Chris cocked an eyebrow in confusion but shoveled more food into his mouth instead of asking.  
  
*******************************  
  
NOTE: Do you like? Just to clear up a couple of confusing matters I saw in the reviews (which I love and please keep sending them. They're so yummy!): Matt and Rey (and Rey's unnamed friends) know nothing at all. Terry and Chris Benoit only know that Matt used and left Shannon. If they knew why, Matt would be a fugitive for the rest of his life, unless they caught him. Then it would be lights out for Matt. Adam and Shannon know most of what's going on, but since they're not on Raw, they can't see all of the stalking, so they have no way of knowing about it unless someone tells them. Rob, Chris Jericho, Amy, Trish, Andrew and Stacy don't know what's going on except that they have to stay glued to Matt and Jay. Lance and Shawn only know Matt's targeting them, but if Lance knew what Matt planned to do to Shannon, Matt would be piecemeal. Shawn would be pissed, too, but Lance would take it personally since he and Shannon are somewhat close. Jay thinks he knows all of the action, but he's still not completely informed. Shane and Jeff know everything on all sides and are basically the ones trying to fix it all. 


	21. Shannon's stubborn streak

Shannon watched Adam work his muscles in silence. While he and Adam still roomed together and were very good friends, he could feel the distance the taller blond put between them, and it hurt the small man. He'd just begun to learn to trust Adam and was even getting passed what Matt had done to him, but the Canadian kept the barriers up. And Shannon knew with a certainty why. He knew Adam intended to make good on his promise to do what was best for Shannon no matter what it did to him. As much as the small blond appreciated the gesture, it didn't sit well with him at all.  
  
He was grateful for all of the protection he was receiving from his colleagues, but he was also tired of feeling like a responsibility they bore together. Terry and Chris always kept him in their sites backstage, protecting him from perceived potential predators like Kanyon and Bill DeMott. Now that was a laugh. Those two had been friends of his since WCW. In fact, Chris Kanyon had been instrumental in getting Shannon his WCW spot. But Benoit and Terry only saw strangers they didn't know well approaching their smaller friend. Shannon believed it was partially guilt that motivated them, as they hadn't protected him from Matt. They reasoned that Matt was also a friend of his and that hadn't stopped him from using Shannon for sex.  
  
And now Adam seemed to be looking to them for support in his intention to emotionally distance himself from Shannon. Well, that plan wouldn't see fruition. The small blond thwarted it at the first sign. Adam had gone to Terry and Chris to ask if they wouldn't mind one of them switching rooms with him for a while until he could find his roommate a new travel partner. He didn't count on Shannon using their bathroom as a pit stop at that exact moment. The small blond ripped open the door and eyed the Canadian furiously, probably shocking the hell out of everyone in the room.  
  
"Am I that repulsive, Adam?" he demanded.  
  
"N-no!" the tall man replied. "It's just that I think it would be better for you to room with someone else."  
  
"Why?!" Shannon demanded.  
  
"Uh, maybe you two should talk this out and come back when you reach a consensus," Chris suggested glaring at Adam as if to say, 'Behave.'  
  
Adam nodded and Shannon, still fuming, led the way back to their room. Once inside he rounded on his roommate and let loose his fury.  
  
"I'm tired of this!"  
  
"What are you talking about?" Adam asked still in shock.  
  
"I'm tired of you trying to protect me from yourself!" Shannon yelled. "That is it, isn't it? Cause the only other explanation makes me feel like a slut!"  
  
"WHAT?!" Now Adam was starting to get angry, much to the smaller man's satisfaction.  
  
"If you're not trying to protect me," Shannon reasoned in a dangerously calm voice, "then you're just tired of waiting around for me to have sex with you."  
  
Shannon knew he was using unfair emotional tactics but Adam's actions left him no choice. If he didn't deal with this problem completely, the other man would find a way to stop rooming with him and Shannon would lose contact with him altogether. And that was something the small blond would not let happen. Somewhere along the line he began to love Adam Copeland and he was determined to keep this relationship stable.  
  
"I swear to God that's not true!" Adam ranted, his face growing redder by the minute. Shannon just hoped he didn't burst a vein before this was over.  
  
"Then you think you're dangerous to me, then?" he asked.  
  
Adam just shrugged and plunked down on the end of the bed looking away.  
  
"I won't let you leave me," Shannon finally admitted, drawing Adam's wide- eyed gaze back to him. "Not after all I've been through. Not after everything you've done to help me."  
  
"I didn't do anything."  
  
"You SAVED ME!" Shannon screamed. "And you can't even see that! That really makes me mad, you know."  
  
"You would have been fine without me."  
  
"No, I wouldn't have," Shannon said with feeling. And he believed it. There was no way he would have let anyone help him through his pain if Adam hadn't broken through his depression when he did. And Shannon knew with a certainty there was no way he would have survived a second breakup with Matt. He had already been close to giving up beforehand. One more push would have done it. Shannon didn't like to think of himself as a weak man, but he was sensitive, and there was no denying what he'd contemplated. But Adam didn't know that yet.  
  
"Terry and Chris were watching out for you."  
  
"Terry and Chris wouldn't have been able to stop me."  
  
Adam looked confused for a second, then comprehension dawned in his eyes and he looked downright terrorized.  
  
"Shan, don't say what I think you're saying."  
  
"What?" the small blond countered. "You don't want to hear what I was contemplating the day you asked me to room with you?"  
  
"Don't."  
  
"You're not curious?" Shannon taunted softly. "A razor blade's a tempting thing, you know."  
  
"Jeff would be destroyed if he heard this."  
  
"Matt had taken him away from me then, remember?"  
  
"Still."  
  
"A razor is messy though," Shannon interrupted. "And too slow. But all hotels have roof access for some reason. You ever notice that?"  
  
Adam just shook his head in stunned silence.  
  
"I know it," the small blond went on. "I go up there a lot when something bad happens to me. Went up there the night Jeff came to see us. Remember that night?"  
  
Adam nodded.  
  
"Don't worry about me flinging myself off any rooftops these days, Ad," Shannon said softly. "You've helped me get passed what he did to me. I just want you to remember that when you're beating yourself up about your own past, okay?"  
  
Adam nodded again, deep in thought.  
  
"No more talk about leaving me," Shannon added. "I won't stand for it."  
  
Adam looked up again and stared at him, then nodded again.  
  
That was three days ago, Shannon sighed to himself. Adam didn't try to switch roommates anymore, but he didn't let Shannon get any closer to him. It was going to be a fight to get him to understand that Shannon trusted him no matter what he'd done. But Shannon would be up to the task. This one wasn't getting away so easily.  
  
*******************************  
  
Adam pushed the barbell up and down carefully. He didn't want to re-injure his neck after all of that time sitting home. Then again, maybe it would solve some of his problems. He looked over at Shannon who sat watching him from a short distance away. Nope, that wouldn't work either. The kid looked determined about what he'd said the other night, and Adam had a feeling he was now being pursued.  
  
The night Shannon admitted to the temptation of suicide Adam became physically sick. He now knew that if Matt's plan hadn't been discovered, the young blond would likely not have survived the second dumping. And what would Adam have done? Would he have taken Jay back if his former lover had cooperated with Matt's plan and helped break up Shawn and Lance? Adam would like to think he wouldn't have, but Jay's forgiveness meant a lot to him and, without having Shannon anymore, he might have taken Jay up on the offer. This was all so much to assimilate.  
  
And Shannon trusted him now. How could he trust him when Adam had all but confirmed that the rumors about what he'd done to Jay were true? Wasn't the small blond worried that history could repeat itself? No. He'd already said so repeatedly the last three days. Shannon believed that as long as Adam was aware of the problem and determined not to repeat it, it wouldn't happen. But the taller blond wasn't so sure. Old habits were sometimes very hard to break. And he had been aware at the time that Jay was hurting. It didn't stop it then, why would it now?  
  
Terry and Chris questioned him a couple of days ago about what had happened. Adam didn't want to betray Shannon's trust as to what he had been thinking when Adam happened upon him that fateful day. So he told them he was worried his past with Jay would wreck things with Shannon. They just assured him that it wouldn't, just like Shannon did. But Adam couldn't trust himself so why should he let them?  
  
He knew he couldn't leave Shannon, though. The small blond had said he wouldn't allow it. And he knew that Jay couldn't speak to him right now, so there was little chance of forgives at the moment. But if he did eventually get it, that might be the key to his dilemma. If he could get Jay to at least hear him out, then he might be able to trust himself again. And then he could open up to Shannon completely.  
  
*******************************  
  
NOTE: Well, how was that? I thought we needed to check in our two heroes for a while. And I started the prequel. Please check it out! Send me reviews I love reviews! 


	22. Complications of the heart

Jay sighed as he and Matt stepped into the steam room. The sauna was for wimps as far as the Canadian was concerned. The real therapy came from forcing every pore in your body open to let all the toxins leak out. A disgusting image, but truthful nonetheless. Matt apparently agreed as he adjusted his towel and plunked himself down onto the nearest bench, leaning his head back, his eyes closed in contentment. The recent matches were taking their toll on Jay and he knew Matt felt the same pain. They'd both managed a quick intense workout today, to avoid the various stalkers, and slipped into the gym's steam room before the others got there.  
  
Jay wasn't sure how to deal with Matt since the other morning. There was no denying that the older Hardy brother had helped him through a very difficult time. In fact, before he had, Jay'd been laying in bed wondering if he would make it to morning. Jeff had always been there to hold him through the Canadian's darkest moments and he'd become very reliant on his friend's strength. The phone call had helped a little, but it didn't give Jay the physical comfort he needed to make it through the night. But Matt came through for him, even when Jay had been almost certain he wouldn't. He'd even held the Canadian in bed the following morning and helped him get as much sleep as he needed. Jay hadn't expected that from Matt, especially in light of the quiet manipulation the other man had been exerting lately. Jay guessed Jeff was right to try to save Matt after all.  
  
The door opened and the three stalkers danced into the room, hooting and hollering at finding their targets. Jay muttered an oath under his breath and Matt glared at them ominously.  
  
"There you are, Jasey-Poo!" Chris exclaimed. "I've been looking everywhere for you! Are you trying to avoid me, Snookums?"  
  
"SNOOKUMS?" four other voices rang out, Jay's loudest.  
  
"I am NOT your Snookums, you human hemorrhoid!" Jay exclaimed.  
  
"Oh?" Chris cocked an eyebrow. "Does that mean I have competition then?" He returned Matt's glare with pompous one of his own. "You better not touch one blond hair on his head!"  
  
Matt traded calculating glances with Jay and smiled back at Jericho innocently. "Or you'll what? Blow dry me to death?"  
  
"Ooh! Tough words, Hardy Boy!" Chris grinned as he sat down next to Jay.  
  
Much closer to Jay than he would have liked, actually. This was really becoming annoying now. But Jay and Matt had made a pact to protect each other, and that they would do.  
  
"How's your shoulder, Matty?" Shane drawled in a husky voice as he sat next to Matt and rubbed the offending appendage. "You took a mighty tumble in that last house show."  
  
"Yeah," Rob agreed, positioning himself on Matt's other side. "I can teach you some yoga," he smiled slyly, "positions to help you train your body to absorb those better."  
  
"Um, no thanks, Rob," Matt said tightly, extricating himself from their clutches and shooting over to Jay's side.  
  
"Don't you touch my Jasey!" Chris exclaimed.  
  
"I think I've had a long enough steam, how about you, Matt?" Jay hastily stood.  
  
"I'm definitely done," the older Hardy said and jumped up as well.  
  
The two backed slowly to the door and quickly ran through it before the others could say anything.  
  
*********************************************  
  
A minute later the steam room was filled with laughter.  
  
"I thought he would jump out of his skin when you touched his shoulder," Rob said to Shane between fits of hysteria.  
  
"Me?" Shane retorted as he wiped his eyes. "Your 'yoga lessons' really sent him running!"  
  
"Hey, I think I did a decent job, too, if I do say so myself," Chris snorted.  
  
"You definitely did, man," Rob grinned. "I don't think Snookums will be able to look at you the same way again."  
  
"As long as he stops moping, that's all that matters."  
  
All three men nodded in agreement.  
  
"Hey, Shane?" Chris asked softly.  
  
Shane lifted his head in question though he had a feeling he knew what was coming. He'd actually been expecting it much sooner than now. He and Jeff had discussed the possibility and Shane felt the inner circle of friends, at least these two, could be trusted.  
  
"Why are we following those two?" the Canadian asked. "I mean, not that it isn't fun. Hell, I think I'm finally seeing the old Jason Reso return. And I'm very happy to have a hand in that. I was just wondering why."  
  
"Me too," Rob added quietly.  
  
Shane sighed and began his story, trying not to make Matt out to look like a desperate obsessive man. He left out most of Jeff's involvement, seeing Chris' eyes flash slightly at the mere mention of his name. He only said that Jeff was working on Matt to get his head back on straight and that the group's main purpose was to distract him so that he didn't have time to put his plan into action. He left out Shawn and Lance's identities, citing privacy issues. When he was finished, Chris and Rob exchanged worried looks.  
  
"What's wrong?" Shane asked.  
  
"Well, Rob has developed a real crush on Matt," Chris began.  
  
"It's not that big a deal," Rob protested.  
  
"It is," Chris argued. "If you do get him, you could end up pining for someone who's emotionally unavailable."  
  
"I can take care of myself," Rob pointed out.  
  
"I thought so, too," Chris said sadly. "Just think twice before you fall for him." He then turned to look at Shane. "You, too."  
  
Shane's eyes widened as he took in the pleading look on Chris' handsome face. How could he explain that he was okay? He was the one who suggested that Jeff and he hide their relationship for a while. Chris was still so angry with Jeff. Shane didn't know what the Canadian would do if he found out that Shane was the man who stole Jeff's heart and caused him to hurt Chris' jaded ex-lover. Shane looked to Rob for support, but the other man only shrugged.  
  
"Don't worry about me so much, Chris," Shane smiled. "I ain't after Matt. It's just an act on my part."  
  
"You're sure?" the blond man asked cautiously.  
  
"Positive."  
  
*********************************************  
  
Matt and Jay grabbed their clothes from their lockers and beat a path up to their hotel room to shower. It would be easier to avoid any unnecessary prying eyes. Matt was thrilled not to have those three in his presence. He could tell by looking at his roommate that he felt the same way.  
  
"You take the first shower," Jay offered with a smirk.  
  
Matt nodded his thanks and escaped into the bathroom with his bag. He stripped, turned the shower on and waited for it to heat up. As soon as it did, he slipped under the water and sighed happily. Almost as good as the ruined steam room experience.  
  
As he lathered up, his thoughts turned to the man in the other room. He couldn't seem to get Jay out of his mind since he first held him the other night. He was glad the Canadian hadn't noticed the raging hard on he'd had when he got out of that bed. It blew his own mind to discover it himself. In fact, he noticed that he hadn't even thought about Shawn or his plan since then. Peculiar. He remembered waking early to find Jay pensive and then trying to get out of bed. Now that really bothered him. He knew Jay was still healing from his broken heart, but he wanted the man to be comfortable with him. Just why he wanted that he wasn't able to say then. He just did. So he grabbed the other man back to his body and curled himself around the fidgeting blond. It worked, as Jay slipped back into a peaceful sleep for another few hours. When they got up later, Jay thanked him for helping him and they set about their day. Well, after Matt took care of the raging hard on in the shower.  
  
The following night, Jay seemed reluctant to sleep alone again so, without a word, Matt slid back into bed with him and held him through the night. And so began the new ritual they had. They didn't talk about it, but they slept together every night since. And, even though Jay didn't know it yet, Matt intended to keep it that way. Somehow, his big plan suddenly dissolved from his mind and he discovered a new goal to pursue. Now, he was just going to have to figure out how.  
  
A bang on the door startled him out of his pensive state.  
  
"You going to use up all of the hot water on me?" Jay demanded from the other side.  
  
"That would be a change, wouldn't it?" Matt called back with a smirk. He finally finished rinsing his hair and shut off the water. "Usually it's the other way around." He began to swiftly dry off.  
  
"A little retribution, huh?"  
  
"No," Matt laughed as he tugged on a pair of shorts and came out of the bathroom. "It's all yours."  
  
Jay looked at him disbelievingly before passing him and entering the bathroom. Oh yeah, Matt had to be very careful. Jay already had cause not to trust him, courtesy of his actions. But Matt faced this new challenge with determination. He would find a way.  
  
*********************************************  
  
NOTE: Ha! Now Matt's in the same position as Adam is! Na na Na na na Na! I'm such a bitch to my Matt muse, aren't I? Please review! 


	23. FINALLY! Someone gets some action

Lance and Shawn were beginning a leisurely lunch at Lance's favorite restaurant when traveling (The Cracker Barrel), when he looked up and saw Matt walk in and warily look around the room. He hoped they weren't the reason for that look, as he and Shawn had kept their promise to Jeff and let up on stalking Matt. The older Hardy brother's eyes finally came to rest on their table and Lance, not knowing what else to do, smiled and waved. Matt smiled and waved back as he walked over. Well, this was certainly a surprise. He glanced over to Shawn and shrugged. His lover just smiled as Matt approached.  
  
"Do you mind if I talk to you?" Matt asked quietly.  
  
Both Lance and Shawn shook their heads and gestured for Matt to sit, which he did. Next to Lance. This surprised both men as they thought he was going to start something with Shawn to make Lance jealous.  
  
"Um, what can we do for you?" Lance asked softly.  
  
"Well, first of all, I need to apologize to you," Matt said looking directly at Lance. "To both of you," he added looking at Shawn then back at Lance. "But especially to you Lance."  
  
Lance wanted to believe him. Matt looked so sincere. But he wasn't sure if this was just part of Matt's scheme to get to them. He didn't think it was, as Jeff and Jay had both promised to warn them ahead of time of any impending activity on Matt's plan. But something in Matt's voice bade Lance to hear him out before making any judgments. He looked to Shawn in question and the Heart Break Kid lifted one shoulder ever so slightly as if to say, 'let's see what happens.'  
  
"What for?" Lance asked turning back to Matt.  
  
"For what I came to Raw to do," Matt replied. He then went on to detail his plan, blushing profusely when he skimmed briefly over the part about leaving Shannon in the dust. Lance could see that he now regretted every part of the plan from its beginning to through forcing Jay's compliance. In fact, if he wasn't mistaken, there was a spark in his eye when he mentioned the Christian portrayer. There was definitely more to this story, Lance could see.  
  
But in order to help Matt, he had to tamp down his protective feelings for Shannon. Oh, there was no doubt but that he wanted to exact a certain amount of revenge for what Matt had done. But he wanted to help Matt over his obsession first, and he could see that Matt's guilt would lead him to mend those other fences as well. When Matt finally finished, he looked down at the table dejectedly. It was clear that he didn't expect forgiveness for what he'd done from the couple.  
  
"Well, Matt, I'm not going to say I'm not disappointed about what happened," Shawn began slowly. "Because I am."  
  
"Me, too," Lance added. "No matter what was going on, I thought we were at least friends and could talk about things that were bothering us."  
  
Matt didn't lift his gaze as he sighed and readied himself to speak again. "I don't expect you to let me off easy," he said. "I ain't letting myself off, why should you?"  
  
Shawn, meanwhile had quietly signaled the waitress to bring over another menu. He smiled at Lance as he laid it on the table in front of Matt.  
  
"We know you aren't," Lance said to Matt. "But we are forgiving you."  
  
"You are?" Matt looked up in shock, noting the menu. "Why?"  
  
"Because you're obviously in pain over what you did and tried to do," Shawn said. "You'll make it right on your own eventually. This was the first step. Plus, you need something."  
  
"How did you know that?" Matt asked, still shocked.  
  
"We can read you better than you think," Lance answered. "Something happened to make you see that what you were doing was wrong. And I want to know what that something is."  
  
"Me, too," Shawn smiled. "Now pick some food so we can get to the good stuff."  
  
***************************************  
  
"Hey, Jeff!" Shane grinned wildly as he opened his hotel room door to Jeff. "I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow!"  
  
"I know," Jeff said as he threw his bag down on the floor, jumped into his lover's embrace and kicked the door shut. "But I couldn't wait to see you. With all the shit with Matt going on we barely see each other anymore."  
  
"I know, baby," Shane sighed, reveling in holding his lover again. "I've missed you so much!"  
  
"Show me!"  
  
Shane, needing no further encouragement, pushed Jeff gently on the bed and covered him with his own body. He gently pushed Jeff's chin down opening the younger man's mouth and sliding his tongue inside to explore his lover's sweetness. Nirvana, Shane thought as he lost himself all over again. He always felt this way when they made love. Jeff had an innocence about him that couldn't be defined. No matter what he'd been through or how old he became, the young Hardy would always have that quality about him. And Shane would always be there to safeguard it. Jeff would never get away from him again. But judging by the way he was currently melting in Shane's arms, the brunette knew he wouldn't have to do much convincing to keep his lover.  
  
Jeff reached around Shane's neck and pulled him closer to keep him there. Shane could feel his pants tighten more with every move Jeff made. That didn't bother him, though. He wasn't planning to go anywhere but to heaven with Jeff anyway. He could take the teasing if he had to. Jeff slowly began to tug Shane's t-shirt over his head to get closer to him and Shane did the same to Jeff's wife-beater. Chest to chest, Jeff explored Shane's body with his nimble fingers, causing the Hurricane to shudder.  
  
"I can't hold out this time, baby," Jeff breathed into his mouth. "We can go slow later, but I need you in me now."  
  
"Right now?" Shane's eyes widened. "I have to prepare you first!"  
  
"I took care of that."  
  
"What?!"  
  
Jeff smirked at his lover in reply as he unfastened and removed Shane's pants and boxers.  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Airplane lavatory," Jeff shot back, working on his own clothes now.  
  
Shane was suddenly assaulted with a mental image of Jeff contorting himself into a position to do that in a space so small. "Impossible to do," he said shooting his lover a skeptical look.  
  
Jeff merely raised an amused eyebrow and guided Shane's finger to his waiting hole. Shane put a tentative finger inside and it slid in easily. Jeff had prepared himself, as he'd said.  
  
"Never doubt me," the young Hardy answered the question in Shane's eyes. "Now love me, baby."  
  
Shane slid immediately inside Jeff, pressing up against his prostate and making him close his eyes and moan in ecstasy.  
  
"I will always love you, Jeff," Shane growled. "I will never love anyone BUT you."  
  
Jeff eyes flew back open as Shane picked up speed.  
  
"Those are some serious words, Shane."  
  
"This is a serious relationship, Jeff," Shane sot back with a raised brow. "I thought you knew that."  
  
"I do," Jeff replied, panting heavily. "But I didn't want you to feel pressured."  
  
"I don't," Shane panted back. "But I do want you to feel it."  
  
"Me?" Jeff was stunned. "Why?"  
  
"Because you need to know where we're going with this."  
  
No more words were exchanged as Shane picked up the tempo and slammed furiously into Jeff's willing body. He had started stroking Jeff's cock and it was now pulsating with its need to spill. Jeff bucked and sighed and cried Shane's name. Shane growled and pushed until finally he couldn't take it anymore either. Jeff's cock suddenly tensed then spewed forth its white lava. The contractions caused Shane to shoot his own seed into Jeff's hot body. They shook for a long time after, finally slowing and stopping.  
  
"So, what do you mean?" Jeff finally asked picking up their conversation again.  
  
"I can't stay hidden like this, Jeff," Shane said looking back into his lover's eyes again. "I need the world to know you love me and only me."  
  
"I didn't know you felt that way," Jeff said blushing.  
  
Shane slowly slid out of Jeff but remained on top of him. He leaned down and kissed him long and sensually.  
  
"I do feel that way," he said to Jeff's still bewildered expression. "And I want to make it permanent." He tensed for a second, preparing for Jeff to say they were going too fast, That they weren't ready. But it never came. A slow smile played on the younger man's face instead.  
  
"Are you asking what I think you're asking?"  
  
"I'm not asking, I'm telling," Shane said, feeling more confident now and grinning back. "You need to marry me, love. I won't take no for an answer."  
  
"I wasn't going to try to give it to you, anyway," Jeff said. "I love you so much, baby! Of COURSE I'll marry you!"  
  
Shane leaned in and captured Jeff's lips again in another passionate kiss. Finally, Jeff was his!  
  
***************************************  
  
NOTE: I needed to do that scene! SOMEBODY needed to have sex already! This story is rated R, for goodness sakes! What did you think? (Especially you, Cat Lea Takersdarkone. You're the one who's most unsure of the pairing.) Let me know! 


	24. Matt's guilt

"So you see," Matt said around a mouthful of his sandwich, "I can't exactly tell Jay what I've been feeling because he has no reason to trust me after what I did to Shannon and tried to do to you two."  
  
"A complete mess," Lance nodded.  
  
Shawn quietly pondered what Matt had revealed to the two of them so far. He really hadn't expected to hear this when he'd asked Matt to stay for lunch. He was glad he had, though. The older Hardy brother wouldn't be able to get himself out this jam alone and Jeff would be no help whatsoever if he knew. Sure, he'd think it's great that Matt was crushing on someone else. But when Jeff heard who that someone was he'd hit the roof. The younger Hardy was nothing if not protective of Jay. In fact, he'd been careful to keep a very concentrated tab on Jay's activities to be sure that the Canadian wasn't being harassed by the likes of Steiner and Booker T even though he hadn't worked in WWE in almost a full year. It wouldn't matter that Matt was his brother either, as Jeff was still more than mildly pissed at him for what went down with Shannon.  
  
And Shawn knew that whatever it was it was so much worse than the younger Hardy had led them to believe. He'd called some of his contacts over on Smackdown to find out what had happened but they either didn't know anything more or were keeping it to themselves. Shawn figured it was probably a lack of knowledge, as Spanky and Paul London were his former students and would feel obligated to come clean with whatever they'd known. And now he didn't even have their eyes over there either. Spanky, fed up with being told he had nothing from creative and would have to continue jobbing on Velocity, gave his notice. Paul's own future was still up in the air. He felt for the kids and had made them both promise to keep in touch.  
  
But the problem at hand would be a tricky one. And Shawn wasn't about to risk Jay's newly re-found confidence on a whim. He had to be sure Matt could be trusted again before he agreed to help.  
  
"Matt, please don't take offense," Shawn began quietly, "but how can we trust that you won't hurt Jay like you did to Shannon? He's in a much more vulnerable position emotionally. He's not even over all the shit Adam did to him. You could put the final blow to him if anything goes wrong."  
  
The other man looked sadly across the table at him and Shawn felt like an ass saying it, but he knew it had to be settled before he and Lance could condone the potential match. Jeff would have both their asses if they helped Matt and the plan backfired. Matt's deep brown eyes told of a world of pain and loneliness that Shawn knew would keep Matt from ever intentionally hurting anyone again. Like Jeff said, Matt was mortified by his own actions now that he'd come to his senses.  
  
"I can't predict the future," Matt began slowly. "No one can. I can't guarantee that my relationship with Jay will ultimately work out. Just like you couldn't guarantee it when you and Lance hooked up." Both men raised their eyebrows at Matt. "Now, I know it's not the same and that you guys got together under very different circumstances. Shawn, have you ever argued with Lance?"  
  
"Uh, sure I have."  
  
"Bad arguments?" Matt prodded.  
  
Shawn flushed and frowned. He didn't know where Matt was going with this but he nodded.  
  
"He made me cry a few times in the beginning," Lance added softly. "I guess every relationship has its bad spots."  
  
"And how did seeing what you did to Lance affect you?" Matt asked not taking his eyes off Shawn's face.  
  
"Felt like an asshole," Shawn sighed. "I didn't want to hurt his feelings and I knew what I was saying went too far."  
  
"So you changed your behavior to make him feel comfortable with you."  
  
Shawn nodded.  
  
"I'm trying to do that only on a much larger scale," Matt said looking down. "I know Jay's been hurt badly. Hell, I was there for most of it. He came knocking on Jeff's door every time he had a fight with Adam, and who do you think Jeff was rooming with? I heard Jay cry himself to sleep next to Jeff for comfort. I heard the things Adam said to him when he told my brother about them." Matt looked up trying to compose himself. "Besides Jeff, I'm the only one that knows exactly how deep his pain runs. And I want to put it behind him. I want to be the one who eases it. But I know I can't do it without someone's help."  
  
"And Jeff?" Shawn asked.  
  
"Would probably go back to Vince and offer to come back just to keep me away from Jay," Matt finished. "Jay and Shannon are the two people he cares most about in the world. I've emotionally crippled one. He ain't about to trust me with the other."  
  
"We have to tell you, we're a little worried ourselves," Lance said.  
  
"I know and you have every right not to trust me."  
  
"So why?" Shawn asked.  
  
"I came to you to tell you everything because I know what I did is wrong," Matt explained. "If I have any chance of making it right, I need to come clean about it with everyone involved."  
  
"Everyone?" Lance asked.  
  
"Everyone," Matt said with finality. "And most especially Shannon. I don't know if he can ever forgive me and I'm ready for him not to, but I owe him the apology at least."  
  
"I don't mean to judge you," Lance said. "But how could you use him like that? I know you were lonely and he was there, but how could you use his feelings against him like that then dump him?"  
  
"I honestly wish I could answer that," Matt sighed again. "I've been thinking a lot about it but I can't understand it either. It seems so wrong to just say I wasn't myself, but suddenly I wasn't. I was doing things that had me screaming at myself on the inside but I couldn't seem to stop it. I even tried to call Jeff many times to tell him what I was doing but something always stopped me. I knew he suspected. Shannon would always fight with him on the phone, and I assumed he was telling him to leave me. So I just told Shannon he should stop speaking to him so much and he listened to me. That is an even bigger regret than the relationship itself."  
  
"Why's that?" Lance asked with hard eyes. Shawn could see his lover was fighting his own instincts to exact revenge on Shannon's behalf.  
  
"Without Jeff, Shannon was lost," Matt sniffled. It was clear he truly regretted hurting the young blond. "And when his daddy died, he had no one to go to but me. But I was already beyond the ability to help him. And I'm afraid I may have made him feel unimportant and alone by that point. Just a short while later, I jumped here and lost all contact with him."  
  
"And didn't look back," Lance hissed. Shawn put a foot against Lance's leg to steady him. Lance suddenly looked up at him and a whirlwind of anger danced in his eyes, surprising Shawn as he rarely saw that on his normally calm lover's face.  
  
"I'm looking back now, Lance," Matt cried softly, tears tracking their path down his cheek. "And I hate myself for what happened. I want to make it better for Shannon. I really do. I've already called in every favor I ever earned from the top brass in creative over on Smackdown. They said they're going to retool Shannon's image and are set to give him the push he deserves. Adam's training him in areas I couldn't, so he's getting the moves down. And I spoke to Benoit and Terry before coming over here. They may hate me but they'll work with me to make sure Shannon's career takes off. I know he'll probably always hate me, but I will do whatever I can to make things better, Lance. Please believe me."  
  
Shawn held his breath. He believed Matt was telling the truth. While he hadn't had the chance to get to know the older Hardy very well before the mess started, he did know him well enough to see the signs of deceit. And now that he did he was surprised at how easy it would have been to foil Matt's plan whether Jeff had warned them or not. But Lance was the key decision maker here and Shawn would support whatever his lover decided. Lance studied Matt's anguished features for a long time.  
  
"I believe you, Matt," Lance finally said. "But how do I know you'll put Jay first this time? I was there at the end of his time with Adam. You were on Raw then."  
  
"You know, I hold him every night when we go to sleep," Matt replied. "It's been going on for over a week now. I watch his eyes as I get into bed with him. They start out nervous before I get there. Like he's afraid the nightmares will finally catch him and he won't be able to get back. Then I slip in behind him and turn him to tuck him against me. His eyes relax and he breathes a sigh of relief. He instantly melts against me and falls asleep. It's like he knows I won't let any nightmares get to him as long as I'm holding him."  
  
"He lets you near him?" Lance's eyes widened in shock. "He's never let me or Drew, or anyone else for that matter."  
  
"But Jeff," Matt finished for him. "I know. I think the first time he asked me was a fluke. My brother wasn't there and Adam had called him. I was the only substitute for Jeff. But when he looked like he couldn't cope the second night and I just slipped into his bed, he went very easily into my arms. Like he wanted me to be there, not Jeff. Maybe I imagined it, but I couldn't help but feel pleased that I was making someone's life better for a change. After that, he just let me hold him. Last night, he even mumbled my name." Matt's cheeks flushed and he looked down with a small smile.  
  
Lance studied Matt some more and again Shawn waited.  
  
"Okay," the Canadian finally said. "I'll help you."  
  
***************************************  
  
NOTE: So? What do you think? I wasn't originally putting Matt with Jay, but the story demanded it the more I was writing it. I think it works, but I want to know what you think! 


	25. Bargaining with fate

Jay rounded the corner trying to get past the crowd of people mobbing into the mall before they figured out who he was. He pulled his cap down low over his sunglasses and slouched as he walked. It wasn't easy, but he was able to get into the mall and over to the bookstore before anyone stopped him. Once inside his luck ran out, though. A smaller man with a long blond ponytail tugged him into a corner section containing rows and rows of recipe books. As Jay readied himself to deliver a blistering tirade the man removed his own glasses.  
  
"Shannon?" he cried perplexed.  
  
"Shhh!" the small blond admonished. "You want the whole mall in here?"  
  
"Uh, not really," Jay agreed finding a couple of chairs near the bookshelves and sitting down in one of them.  
  
Shannon watched him then, comprehending what Jay was doing, sat down in the chair next to him. They warily looked each other over for a few minutes, trying to assess the situation. Jay was very curious as to why Shannon sought him out, especially when the young blond was supposed to be two states away from where they were now for the Smackdown taping. In fact, Jay realized, he must have been following him all day until Jay went someplace fairly discreet enough for them to talk.  
  
Shannon was going incognito as well, choosing a much less flashy outfit than usual. His blue jeans were well worn and dark, and his plain yellow t- shirt was a stark contrast to his usual choices. He also wore a thin leather jacket over the ensemble, despite the fact that it was 80 degrees outside in sunny Texas. This, Jay assumed, was to conceal the younger wrestler's great colorful dragon tattoo, a fairly recent addition. Jay stewed as he sat there waiting for Shannon to speak. He should have liked this boy. They probably would have been good friends if things hadn't gone on the way they had. Finally, he couldn't take the silent staring contest any longer.  
  
"Why are you here?"  
  
"You know why," Shannon shot back.  
  
"Adam."  
  
"Partly," the blond shrugged.  
  
"What else?"  
  
"We'll start there and see how well we do, okay?"  
  
Jay merely raised an eyebrow and waited for the small blond to continue. Inside he felt his blood begin to boil. He knew he shouldn't be this angry but Jeff always said you can't control your feelings, and who was Jay to argue with someone so in tune with emotion?  
  
"I know you can't stand me right now," Shannon nodded understandingly. "I can't exactly blame you."  
  
"I don't hate you," Jay replied in a measured tone. He wouldn't give Shannon the satisfaction of seeing how right he was.  
  
"Like hell you don't! You're mad that Adam's showing me the emotion he refused you."  
  
Jay gripped the arms of the wooden chair and narrowed his eyes. Wise little bastard, isn't he?  
  
"I'm not thrilled with it," Jay responded. "But that's not exactly your fault."  
  
"Yeah, but it makes you mad."  
  
"Not exactly."  
  
"Oh, yes, exactly," Shannon countered. "You can't control you're feelings."  
  
"Don't you dare quote him to me!" Jay exploded from his chair. "He taught me that already!"  
  
"And that's the other reason I'm here," Shannon sat calmly back in his seat.  
  
Realizing his outburst would cause attention if he kept it up, Jay quickly sat back down and glared at Shannon as if he could burn a hole in him. If only.  
  
"Yes, I know what's really got you pissed, Mr. Reso," Shannon sighed. "You can't hide it from me."  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
"You're definitely not happy about Adam hanging around me," the small blond conceded, "but that's not what really has you ready to throw me through a wall."  
  
"Why else?"  
  
"Jeff."  
  
The one word Jay had been trying to avoid had suddenly driven a hole into the pit of his stomach. He fought back the tear that was trying to force its way out of him.  
  
"You already have Jeff, Shannon," he replied looking down. "It doesn't matter how I feel about it."  
  
"Jeff is a force that cannot be contained, Jay," Shannon sighed. "You have him as much as I do."  
  
The Canadian looked up sharply ready to argue the point, but Shannon's wise look stopped him and he sat back to hear what the smaller man had to say.  
  
"You really think you're not just as close to him as I am?" Shannon finally asked.  
  
Jay shrugged.  
  
"Well, you are," Shannon went on. "In fact, in some ways, you're closer."  
  
"How do you figure THAT?" Jay seethed.  
  
"He chose to stay with you."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"When Matt came over to Smackdown that time, they offered Jeff a spot, too," Shannon shrugged. "They said they could get some more mileage out of the Hardy Boyz tag team on Smackdown because there were smaller guys, more believable competition for a borderline cruiserweight tag team. In fact, they were kicking around the idea of resurrecting the old WCW cruiserweight tag team titles."  
  
"Jeff refused?" Jay's head began swimming.  
  
"Jeff told me his decision on the phone before Matt got there," the small blond grimaced. "I begged him to reconsider. I've always wanted to wrestle with him again. We had some awesome shows in OMEGA."  
  
"He refused?" Jay asked again.  
  
"He told me you needed him more," Shannon sighed again. "He said that you looked vulnerable when you got there and he'd resolved a long time ago to save you. He wasn't leaving you for his career, he said. Especially since said career was losing its meaning for him. You were one of his best friends."  
  
"Aside from you."  
  
"Along with me," Shannon corrected. "He's always been real clear about that with me. I thought he'd explained that to you."  
  
Jay shrugged sadly and looked down. Shannon picked his chin back up and leaned in close.  
  
"I wasn't thrilled when he said it, but I'm okay with it," the small blond assured him. "And, even though I know you won't be as close with anyone else as you are with Jeff, I'd like to be friends with you, too."  
  
"Don't you think that would be a little awkward considering you're in love with my ex?" Jay shot back, though not unkindly.  
  
"Only for outsiders," Shannon grinned. "Besides, it ain't like you don't have something going on with my ex."  
  
Jay gasped and sat back sharply hitting his back against the hard wood and grunting. Shannon's giggle sounded low and amused.  
  
"I don't have anything going on with Matt," Jay replied with a frown.  
  
"Oh, not at all."  
  
"I'm just trying to keep him from destroying a mutual friend's relationship!" Jay argued, crossing his arms.  
  
"Uh huh," Shannon leaned his elbow on the arm of the chair and held his chin with his palm.  
  
"I am!"  
  
"And just when is this big plan supposed to begin unfolding," Shannon looked fascinated.  
  
"He hasn't told me yet!" Jay was really beginning to lose his patience.  
  
"I see," Shannon nodded leaning back in the chair and watching Jay with an amused look.  
  
"What?!" Jay growled.  
  
"It's been my experience in the past to note that Matt, when planning something, implements those schemes as soon as possible"  
  
"So?" Jay huffed. "Maybe he hasn't had the chance yet because Shane and Rob have been chasing his ass all over the place!"  
  
Shannon burst out laughing.  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
"Nothing," Shannon wiped his eyes. "Nothing at all. Just the thought of Matt becoming the hunted."  
  
Jay thought about it for a minute and the irony struck him. He began to chuckle a little.  
  
"Oh, come on," the blond teased him. "It's much funnier than that."  
  
"It might be," Jay sighed, "if Jericho weren't causing me a similar migraine."  
  
"Chris is stalking you?"  
  
"Like a bloodhound," Jay sighed. "Why do you think I'm hiding in here?"  
  
"I thought you liked to read."  
  
"I do, but I have plenty of books to tide me over," Jay said. "Matt said he had plans today and Chris didn't appear to want to leave me alone at the hotel so I gave him the slip."  
  
"Matt's helping you?"  
  
"It's a mutual arrangement."  
  
"Oh, I see," Shannon looked skeptical and Jay waited patiently. "Just that Matt, the way he is now, usually doesn't help anyone unless there's something in it for him."  
  
"There is," Jay said in exasperation. "I'm keeping him safe from Rob and Shane."  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"What now?!"  
  
"Nothing," Shannon laughed. "I'm sure you're doing a good job."  
  
"Why are you here again?"  
  
"Sorry," Shannon put up a hand. "I do want to discuss Adam, too."  
  
Jay quieted down to an icy silence.  
  
"Look, you have every right not to like him," Shannon began."  
  
"You've got THAT right."  
  
"But you are over him romantically."  
  
"How would you know that?" Jay demanded.  
  
"You refused to help Matt."  
  
"I just thought it was wrong."  
  
"Well, that's good to hear," Shannon replied. "But Adam was your best friend as well as your lover, and I know you must have made some inner peace with yourself to work to stop a plan that would hurt him."  
  
"I'm not a bastard."  
  
"I agree."  
  
"You must hate Matt, too." Jay had the satisfaction of seeing a twinge of pain flash in Shannon's eyes when he'd said that. Then he felt remorse. He understood just how hurt Shannon must have been to find out Matt would have gone back to destroy him. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't worry about it," Shannon sighed again. "I've made peace with it inside."  
  
"You want me to forgive Adam, don't you?"  
  
"Truthfully, I don't know if you can," Shannon replied. "But I do want you to allow him to apologize at least."  
  
"And what will you for me," Jay joked. He already knew he wouldn't refuse Shannon's request.  
  
"I'll let Matt apologize," Shannon offered.  
  
Jay looked at him in shock. He wasn't sure if he would have asked it of the small blond but he was suddenly aware that that's what he would have asked for one day. Yet Shannon knew it even before Jay did. Just like Jeff would have. Weird.  
  
"Jeff's trained me well," Shannon smirked.  
  
"I see," Jay smiled genuinely for the first time that day. "About Jeff."  
  
"You better not tell him yet," Shannon advised.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"He'll have Matt's head if he knows you're even slightly interested in him," the small blond said.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Can't you see?"  
  
The Canadian shook his head.  
  
"Jeff will destroy the next man who hurts you, Jay," Shannon informed him. "It won't matter one bit if it's his own brother."  
  
*********************************  
  
NOTE: *Cue Mission Impossible theme music* Jeff is going to freak out on all their candy asses! (Ooops! Wrong muse!) Well? I'm DYING to know how you like this one! 


	26. New beginnings

Matt glanced from Shawn to Lance warily, not entirely sure how to react to the duo's idea. He couldn't have heard that last bit right.  
  
"Let me get this straight," he began. "You're saying the only way to get close to Jay is to lie to him?"  
  
"Well, that's putting a harsh slant on it," Shawn replied. "You won't be lying exactly. I mean, you do want to save him from Jericho, right?"  
  
"Even though I'm not convinced Chris really is stalking him," Lance added.  
  
"So, you want me to use that to trick Jay?"  
  
"You're not going to trick him," Shawn said. "You told us that he's very afraid of Jericho right now and that he wants to avoid him."  
  
"Yeah," Matt scratched his head.  
  
"And you're trying to avoid Shane and Rob," Lance pointed out.  
  
"Uh huh," Matt agreed.  
  
"So, why not use those unfortunate situations to your advantage?" Shawn asked.  
  
"Because Jay will kill me when he finds out?" Matt suggested.  
  
"First of all, you're not lying," Shawn sighed. "You're just finding an upshot to an otherwise uncomfortable situation. And second, Jay will be more likely to let you touch him in public, when he's awake, if he thinks it will help the two of you. By the time the others stop stalking you two, Jay should be agreeable to continuing the relationship."  
  
"I don't know," Matt frowned. "That could take him a long time to agree to."  
  
"Well, if I know Shane and Chris, it could take a long time for them to lose interest," Lance snorted. "And Van Dam's attention span isn't so short either."  
  
Matt shuddered with the thought. Even if he hadn't fallen for Jay, he knew he would have to resort to something so drastic to get away from the martial artist. Shane he could deal with because he was his best friend. If Matt told him 'no' Shane would leave him alone. But Rob's leers suggested someone a little less willing to handle rejection. Nope. Lance and Shawn were right. This was probably the only way to get rid of him. He just hoped that he could convince Jay of it.  
  
********************************  
  
Jeff hummed to himself while Shane showered. He looked down at his hand and grinned. There glinting back at him was a gold reminder of his new commitment. He couldn't believe how happy he was right now. Shane wore a matching reminder of his own. They'd gone right out after making love, well okay they cleaned up first, but right after that, and bought the rings for each other at a nearby jeweler's. Shane said that they would have them engraved later, when they actually got married. He'd also explained all about the trip they would take to Canada, as soon as possible. Apparently Shane wasn't a fan of long engagements. Jeff's grin widened. Neither was he. The bathroom door opened and Shane sauntered out with a towel slung low around his waist.  
  
"Do you think you could tear yourself away from rescuing Lance and Shawn long enough to take a quick trip up north, baby?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. He knew how much Jeff loved that, the younger Hardy thought. Who could refuse him?  
  
"I can do that," Jeff chuckled pulling his lover back down on the bed with him. "What about your stalking, though? Won't this put a crimp in your plans?"  
  
"Screw that," Shane shrugged leaning over him and planting kisses all over his neck and chest. "Matt ain't afraid of me anyway. It's Rob that has him on the run. And I want to make you mine as soon as I can."  
  
"What's the rush? I ain't pregnant!" Jeff laughed. "And you know I ain't going anywhere."  
  
"I know, baby," Shane replied. "I trust you. I just want to be legally bound to you. The faster, the better. You know I can't take waiting for what I really, really want."  
  
"Oh, I know!"  
  
"Hurry up and get dressed," Shane said rolling back out of bed. "I researched the flights online and we can make the very next one if we're fast enough!"  
  
"Matty's probably going to be really mad at me for eloping," Jeff smiled hurrying to get ready as requested.  
  
"Don't give a rat's ass!" Shane tossed over his shoulder as he quickly stuffed his clothes into his suitcase.  
  
Jeff laughed again. His husband-to-be was anxious, and he wouldn't want it any other way.  
  
********************************  
  
Jay checked all around him as he tiptoed back to his room. No Jericho. Phew! He just had to get inside before anyone saw him. Once inside, he would wait for Matt and they could check out together. Their planes left for home soon and Jay just knew Jericho would be a pain in the ass all the way back to Tampa. He inserted the card key and slipped inside safely. Phew, again!  
  
"You're back," Matt's voice came from behind making Jay jump a few inches in the air.  
  
"Don't do that!" Jay admonished turning to him.  
  
"Why are you sneaking?" Matt asked.  
  
"The Ayatollah of Irritation has been prowling around all day," Jay explained. I needed some peace. Especially since I'll be suffering him on the plane ride home."  
  
"Same with me and Shane." Matt nodded understandingly then looked thoughtful. "Maybe there's a way we can help each other."  
  
"I thought we were helping each other," Jay huffed plunking down on the bed.  
  
"Maybe there's a better way," Matt clarified. "If those two thought I was dating someone, they might eventually give up."  
  
"But where does that leave me with MY problem?!" the Canadian was incensed.  
  
"Well, if I was dating YOU," Matt sighed in exasperation, "that would solve BOTH our problems."  
  
Jay looked up at him curiously. He was wondering what he was going to do without Matt holding him at night when he went home. This might help alleviate that concern. And the other man did seem to be concerned with Jay's nightmares. Hmm. He could see the possibilities.  
  
"Are you sure you won't mind if people think we're dating?" Jay asked.  
  
"Well, that's the point of the plan," Matt said sitting down next to Jay.  
  
"But what about Shawn?" Jay asked trying to hide the jealousy he was feeling lately.  
  
"What about him?"  
  
"He'll think you're taken."  
  
"Since I've abandoned that plan, who cares?" Matt replied.  
  
Jay fixed the older Hardy brother with a pointed stare. The whole reason he'd jumped to Raw was to break Shawn and Lance up. Granted, he hadn't shown much interest in it lately, but Jay wasn't naïve enough to believe that Matt was over Shawn. Not by a long shot.  
  
"You gave it up?"  
  
Matt nodded.  
  
"Why?"  
  
Matt shrugged. "I like Lance," he said. "And no matter how hard I tried to hold onto my hatred, I couldn't do it."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Something wrong?" Matt asked.  
  
"No," Jay mumbled. He was hoping for too much. He looked down to hide his disappointment and missed the sudden heat in Matt's gaze. "So, uh, what do we tell people?"  
  
"We don't say anything," Matt said softly.  
  
"But how do we make them believe we're dating?" Jay asked looking back up. He saw Matt wearing an unreadable expression and couldn't place what it meant.  
  
"You come home with me and we let everyone else work out what it means," Matt answered.  
  
"Home with you?" The idea appealed to Jay. He wanted to see Matt's new house and that would mean he'd be near Jeff, too. Shannon's warning suddenly resurfaced. "What about Jeff?"  
  
"Jeff's in Philly on band business," Matt said apologetically. "And I don't think he'd approve of this plan, so maybe we could just not tell him yet. Okay?"  
  
Not tell Jeff? Jay knew he was going to hear about this from his friend when he found out. But he also knew it was the best coarse of action. "Okay," he nodded. "You know him best."  
  
"Thanks," Matt smiled. "Oh, and Jay?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I have a king size bed," Matt said, blushing a little. "You can stay with me at night."  
  
Jay nodded gratefully. He was glad Matt said something as he was worried where he would sleep when he got there. Matt smiled back at him. Yes, this would work out for both of them.  
  
********************************  
  
The plane wasn't crowded at all and the flight up was pretty pleasant. Jeff and Shane grabbed their luggage and hurried over to the nearest hotel to check in before making their way to the government offices. Registration didn't take long at all and before Shane knew it, he and Jeff were standing before a Canadian justice official.  
  
"I do," Shane answered with certainty when asked if he would take Jeff as his lawfully wedded spouse.  
  
He listened with satisfaction and joy as Jeff did the same. When they were pronounced wed and told to kiss he pulled his husband close to him and whispered "Finally!" before sealing their vows with a passionate kiss and dragging him back to the hotel to consummate the union, which they did. Twice. Each time, Shane slowly and carefully brought Jeff to new heights and reveled in his husband's cries of desire.  
  
Now that it was several hours later and Jeff lay contentedly and unconsciously curled into him, Shane never felt so happy. He was going to make the most of his honeymoon, he decided, kissing Jeff's forehead fondly as he watched him sleep.  
  
********************************  
  
NOTE: Okay, that's one couple married off and another off to a good start. Now to pick up on Adam and Shannon! And look! I've reached over 100 reviews! *Throws confetti* Woo hoo!!!!!! So! What'd ya think? 


	27. Reparations

The night of the Royal Rumble was chaotic, but then Adam always knew it would be. Though Shannon wasn't scheduled to appear tonight, he and Adam had decided to come to the show to cheer on their Smackdown colleagues and hook up with some rarely seen Raw friends. Adam was especially nervous since he hadn't heard from Jay again and wasn't sure what his ex-lover's reaction would be to seeing him. But he and Jay were going to have to get used to periodic pay per view encounters, so when Shannon suggested they go he agreed. Speaking of the small blond, where had he gone off to? He promised himself he'd protect Shannon from Matt and now Adam looked around for him worriedly.  
  
"Looking for something?" a cool voice asked from behind. Adam turned startled eyes over to his ex-lover and best friend.  
  
"Um, Jay," he stammered. "I, uh, I wasn't going to bother you tonight. I swear."  
  
Jay nodded mutely and leaned against the wall. Adam took in his former partner's new look. He'd seen it on television but hadn't been this close to Jay in, well, many months. He wasn't sure why he hadn't stalked off yet, but he was hopeful that Jay would listen to him this time. He decided to give his apology another try and smiled cautiously.  
  
"Um, I am really sorry for the way I treated you, man," he began then looked down in guilt. "I know you have no reason to believe me and I have absolutely no right to ask for your forgiveness."  
  
"I'm not sure I'll ever be able to give that to you anyway," Jay said softly.  
  
Adam nodded, still looking down. He felt like such an ass standing before the man he'd once loved but so brutally treated emotionally. How he could have been so callous still mystified him. Jay had been nothing but loving to him from the beginning. Adam only wished he could have eased the other man's pain. He knew Jay had spent almost his entire time on Raw licking his wounds.  
  
"Make sure you don't mistreat Shannon the same way," Jay went on.  
  
Adam's eyes snapped back up to Jay's and he could feel his face redden. But the other man didn't show the intensity of jealousy as Adam had felt from him on the phone. Still, that had to have been difficult for his former lover to say. But as Adam looked deeper he saw something in Jay's eyes that spoke of moving on. Another man perhaps? Adam knew he had no right to the small twinge of jealousy that he now felt, but a part of him would always love Jay.  
  
"I," he began. "I wouldn't."  
  
"I know you wouldn't," Jay smiled humorlessly. "That's part of the problem."  
  
"Have you," Adam couldn't figure out how to ask this. "Have you found someone?"  
  
"Don't tell me you're upset about the possibility," Jay scoffed. "We both knew when I left Smackdown that there was never any going back for us."  
  
Adam nodded.  
  
"And your heart belongs to another blond now."  
  
"You don't seem as upset by that as you did a couple of weeks ago," Adam mumbled.  
  
"Shannon and I have spoken," Jay shrugged. "I like the kid. A lot."  
  
Adam nodded.  
  
"Which is why I'm warning you," Jay added. "Hurt the kid, especially like you hurt me, and Jeff won't be the one you have to worry about this time."  
  
His eyes widened in alarm at the threat. Jay had never been so imposing before and Adam was a little wary of him now.  
  
"I know where your skeletons are buried, so to speak," Jay replied to the silent question. "And I won't hesitate to drag them out. Shannon's a good friend. Respect him and you'll be fine."  
  
With that Jay pushed himself away from the wall and nodded once before walking away, leaving a stunned Adam in his wake.  
  
*************************************  
  
Shannon searched the hallways for the locker room he needed. His insides were churning with dread, yet he knew he had to do this. If he and Adam had any chance, he needed closure from Matt. And the older Hardy needed it, too. He could see that Jay cared for him very deeply and that the only way Matt would be able to live up to the man Jay deserved would be to redeem himself. He couldn't do that if Shannon didn't start him on the road by forgiving him. And that would be the hardest part. How did he forgive what Matt had done to him. Of course, if Matt hadn't left him, he and Adam wouldn't have hooked up in the first place, so the small blond guessed he did owe Matt for at least paving the way.  
  
Shannon found the locker room and slipped inside quietly. Matt sat on a bench facing the wall with his bent, perhaps in prayer, Shannon couldn't be sure. He slowly approached his former friend and lover, not sure how his presence would be greeted.  
  
"Hey, Matt," he said sadly. "I just came to wish you luck on your match tonight."  
  
Matt's head whipped up at the sound of his voice and Shannon took a step or two back when he shot out of his seat.  
  
"Shannon!" Matt squeaked. "I didn't expect you to come looking for me." The older Hardy's face reddened with shame and he looked back down as his hand went up to smooth his hair. Matt always did that when he was nervous. Shannon took it as a good sign.  
  
"I just came to wish you luck," Shannon repeated. "I'll go now." He turned to the door knowing Matt wouldn't let him just walk out.  
  
"No, don't leave," Matt said on cue. Shannon smiled to himself but made sure it didn't show as he turned around to face Matt again. "I mean, I need to talk to you, Shannon."  
  
"Okay," the small blond sat down on another bench and waited expectantly for whatever Matt had to say.  
  
"Look, there ain't no excuses for what I did to you," Matt sighed. "I intentionally started something with you so that I could break it off." He looked down, completely ashamed of himself.  
  
Shannon watched him carefully and his heart really broke for Matt. He knew the older Hardy was having trouble coming to terms with what he had done and had almost done again to one of his friends. There was something left of the old Matt to save. This actually made Shannon very glad, as he would hate to have to give up on him completely. Matt was a close friend before a lover and the small blond hoped to return him to that state.  
  
"I know," Shannon finally spoke.  
  
Matt's head shot up again. "You know?"  
  
Shannon nodded.  
  
"How much?"  
  
"Hopefully all of it," Shannon shrugged. "I know you were going to come back so that you could break me and Adam up for Jay."  
  
Matt's face reddened even more. "How did you know?"  
  
"Jeff found out," Shannon sighed. "And don't go getting mad at him. He was trying to contain the damage for you so that when you came to your senses, only those affected knew."  
  
"Who else?"  
  
"As far as I know, only me and Adam," Shannon lied. He knew what it would do to Matt if he knew the couple he'd been trying to break up knew about his plan.  
  
"Well, that makes six," Matt sighed in relief.  
  
"Six?!"  
  
You, Adam," Matt ticked off his fingers. "Jay, Jeff and Lance and Shawn."  
  
"Lance and Shawn?!?"  
  
"Yeah," Matt nodded. "I confessed to them.  
  
"You CONFESSED?"  
  
"You look shocked."  
  
"I am," Shannon cried. "I've been trying to stick to Jeff's wishes of not telling anyone and there you go informing your victims!"  
  
"At least I came clean," Matt smiled. "I needed to ask for forgiveness."  
  
"Is that what you're asking of me?" Shannon asked quietly. Matt nodded. "Why?"  
  
"I know I got no right," Matt began.  
  
"No, why are you asking?" Shannon interrupted Matt's plea. "It's been my experience that Matt Hardy doesn't usually need anyone's forgiveness."  
  
"Maybe the Smackdown Matt didn't, but this one does."  
  
"Something's changed, Matt," Shannon replied. "What aren't you telling me?"  
  
Matt looked confused so Shannon decided to spell it out for him.  
  
"You're in love with him, aren't you?"  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"You're in love with Jay," the small blond smiled. "I knew he had feelings for you and I hoped you had some for him, but this is more than I imagined I'd find."  
  
"I don't," Matt's face colored for a different reason now and Shannon was enjoying the hell out of this. "What are you talking about? Jay has feelings for me?"  
  
"I saw it written all over his face."  
  
"When did you see him?"  
  
"Last week, before you left for home," Shannon said. "Rumor has it, he went home with you. Is that true?"  
  
"This is beyond awkward," Matt retorted.  
  
"He implied the same thing when I questioned him last week about his relationship with you."  
  
"You QUESTIONED him?" Matt palled. "Look, Shan, I know you have a right to hate me, but please don't take it out on Jay. He's been through so much."  
  
"I couldn't agree with you more," the small blond nodded. "And I KNOW you won't put him through anything else, right?"  
  
"No!" Matt protested. "I mean, yes, you're right, NO I won't. Please don't hate him."  
  
"I don't," Shannon replied. "And as long as you make sure he never hurts again, you'll be all right."  
  
"What does that mean?" Matt asked with dread written on his handsome features.  
  
"It means that I'll help Jeff tear you apart if you hurt Jay," Shannon shrugged. "He's now a friend of mine and I take care of my friends."  
  
Matt nodded sadly.  
  
"Matt, you're still a friend, too," Shannon sighed. "But you have a ways to go before I can trust you again."  
  
Matt looked relieved to hear Shannon say that.  
  
*************************************  
  
Shannon found Adam searching the locker rooms later on.  
  
"Hey, what'd you lose?" he asked as the Canadian looked up.  
  
"I lost YOU," Adam said frantically. "Where have you been?"  
  
The small blond laughed at the spectacle Adam made of himself. He had been about to look in the women's locker room and Shannon didn't doubt for a minute that Shaniqua and Jazz would team up to kick the tall blond out.  
  
"I had some closure to see to," he replied and his roommate instantly looked alarmed.  
  
"Did he say anything bad to you?" Adam demanded as he grabbed Shannon's shoulders and looked him over for damage. This warmed Shannon to no end and he reveled in it.  
  
"No, he didn't," he grinned. "In fact, Mr. Mattitude apologized."  
  
"He did?" Adam looked shocked.  
  
"Yeah, we'll talk more about it later in the room," Shannon touched Adam's cheek and tugged on his hand. "Now, let's go watch Chris kick everybody's ass in the name of Smackdown!"  
  
Adam smiled as Shannon dragged him away.  
  
*************************************  
  
NOTE: I had to wait for the Royal Rumble results for this chapter. You like? (Not to xtremediva: Shannon and Jeff are after me and you're leaving me hanging? * Pout * I thought you liked me!) 


	28. Gentlemen, start your engines!

"Terry, lots of guys are doing the long distance thing since the split," Rey tried again.  
  
He and Billy were attempting to get Smackdown's resident Man Beast out of his funk since Chris was switched to Raw. It wasn't working too well, though. Terry had been moping since Monday, when Chris left with the other show's roster, promising his lover he would see him as soon as possible.  
  
"Yeah, you know he loves you," Billy chimed in. "Besides, we all agree he was way overdue for that push!"  
  
"I know," Terry sighed. "I just miss him."  
  
Rey exchanged meaningful looks with Billy and they both silently sat down with their friend. The current cruiserweight champion wanted to think anyway. Billy had been around him much more lately since he and Torrie split and it was confusing the hell out of the little Latino. He'd been trying to extinguish his feelings for his friend for some years now, considering Billy was straight. In fact, he was almost ready to stop flirting with John Cena and start a relationship, but Billy stuck to him like glue. And, truth be told, he really didn't want to stop hanging out with him. The question was, why was Billy so attentive now?  
  
"You guys don't have to hang around the depressed guy, you know," Terry finally said.  
  
"We want to," Billy replied.  
  
"Hey, Rey," Cena called from the doorway. "You want to catch a movie with me?"  
  
Rey's stomach lurched as he felt Billy's eyes bore into him from across the table. It was evident that he didn't want him to go with Cena, but John looked so hopeful. Rey felt caught between two magnetic forces. What should he do?  
  
"Why don't we all go?" Terry asked.  
  
"You feel up to it?" Rey asked, grateful for the Man Beast's idea.  
  
"Yeah, I think it would be good to catch a flick."  
  
"Okay," Cena said, masking his disappointment for Terry's sake. "Let's take my rental. It's a Bronco."  
  
They all got up to follow John out and Rey didn't miss the smirk Billy threw the doctor of thuganomics.  
  
************************************  
  
Shannon and Adam sat on their respective beds in their room and stared at each other. It had been like this since Sunday night's pay per view. Adam had demanded that Shannon go over his conversation with Matt word for word, but Shannon would only paraphrase. He didn't want to reveal Jay's secret until the Canadian was ready. But Adam was afraid Matt was stringing the small blond along again and wanted every detail.  
  
"Why can't you just tell me?" Adam pouted again. "You used to tell me everything."  
  
"I still tell you everything," Shannon shot back. "Just not things that pertain to others."  
  
"Matt's still got a hold on you."  
  
"He does not."  
  
"He told you not to tell me."  
  
"He didn't!" Shannon exclaimed. "Some of what we discussed was about a third party whose friendship means a lot to me. It's not Matt."  
  
"Jeff, then?"  
  
"Stop asking me to name names," Shannon rolled his eyes. "Look, I told you everything he said to me that pertains to me. I'm done with him."  
  
"I wish I could believe his hold was done with you."  
  
Shannon suddenly came up with a mischievous idea. He looked directly into Adam's sexy eyes and said, in his huskiest voice, "Then see for yourself."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Make sure the hold is gone, Adam."  
  
The tall Canadian fixed Shannon with a confused gaze and Shannon sighed in exasperation. Sometimes, he really did act his hair color.  
  
"Replace whatever hold you think he still has on me with one of your own."  
  
Adam's eyes suddenly smoldered as the idea Shannon brought up took root. He eyed the small blond predatorily and Shannon was suddenly a little unsure of this situation. But before he could say anything else, Adam was on him, pushing back on the bed and kissing him more deeply than he'd ever been kissed before. The small blond was stunned as his world started spinning. That one kiss he'd had with Adam couldn't have prepared him for the full onslaught he was currently receiving. But he wouldn't pull away. Oh no. He wasn't frightened of the taller man anymore. Instead he gave Adam as much as he received, and was rewarded with a low growl that emanated from deep within the Canadian's throat. God, this man was sexy, Shannon thought.  
  
Adam tasted spicy and decidedly male. Matt hadn't even intoxicated Shannon so much. He ran his hands slowly up Adam's sides and reveled in the shudders the other made. It was a potent combination, the feel and taste of the man above him. Not to mention the musky, sexy scent. Shannon knew he'd never get enough of Adam. And now he knew that Matt had been nothing more than a crush that became a casual relationship. He wasn't, and had never really been, in love with the older Hardy. Just hurt at being abandoned. But Adam took away all of that pain and replaced with something new and mind blowing. Shannon felt his love returned with a depth he never dreamed possible.  
  
Adam broke the kiss and gazed into Shannon's eyes. The small blond stared back as he gulped in air trying to regain his breath.  
  
"I take it you didn't mind that," Adam rasped, his voice hoarse with barely leashed passion.  
  
"Actually, I've been waiting for it," Shannon drawled back, lightly tracing Adam's jaw line with his fingers.  
  
"YOU'VE been waiting?" Adam teased, then grinned wickedly. "Well, then let me ease your torment."  
  
He leaned in again and took hold of Shannon's mouth again, this time slowly exploring with his tongue. Shannon moaned and opened his mouth further, which apparently gave Adam all the invitation he needed to deepen the kiss to impossible levels. Slowly pulling away, the larger man began to explore Shannon's ears and neck, leaving a trail of kisses wherever he was. Shannon sighed happily and tangled his fingers in Adam's thick golden mane, holding him close.  
  
"You know," the older man said as he rained kisses all over Shannon's now sensitive chest, "I would stop if you want me to, but you're going to have to ask me now."  
  
"Oh, I don't THINK so," Shannon giggled as Adam touched upon a ticklish area. "I told you I've been waiting for you, and I'm not kidding. Ever since you tried to get away from me, I've been chasing you. You just haven't noticed."  
  
Adam stopped his ministrations, causing a frustrated groan from the small man. He grinned up at Shannon, which the younger man found infernally adorable, and cocked an eyebrow.  
  
"I noticed, baby," he finally said. "And I wasn't trying to get away from you, I was trying to protect you."  
  
"Don't want to be protected FROM you," Shannon pouted. "Want to be protected BY you."  
  
"Are you sure?" Adam looked worried.  
  
"For the last time, Adam," Shannon said as he pulled the other man's shirt from the waistband of his jeans. "I trust that you won't hurt me. I know you're trying to atone for your mistakes with Jay. And I know that I'm not just a casual fling for you. Now, can you please make love to me?"  
  
************************************  
  
Adam couldn't believe how much passion he'd felt from Shannon in their kiss. It was as if the younger man was determined to meld into him. And now he was writhing beneath him, pleading for Adam to take him. He knew he had felt passion from Jay before, but nothing prepared him for this. Grinning down at his soon-to-be lover he leaned in for another series of intimate pecks before rising back up on his elbows.  
  
"No, not casual at all," he said between pecks. "I will make love to you. But you have to understand something first."  
  
"What?" Shannon whined impatiently, pulling Adam closer.  
  
"I love you."  
  
Shannon opened his eyes and looked curiously up at him with an expression that made Adam want to laugh out loud. But he wouldn't. Shannon needed to hear this. He needed to know that Adam loved him for himself and not just for his luscious body.  
  
"You love me?"  
  
"That's right," Adam assured him. "I love you."  
  
"You don't have to say. . ."  
  
Adam cut him off with a long, deep, searing kiss that heated both of their already hot bodies. Shannon moaned and gave into the kiss.  
  
"I said it because it's true, baby," he said to the smaller man as he pulled away. "Not because I have to."  
  
Shannon nodded mutely beneath him and tried to wiggle closer. Adam held the smaller man's hips with his two large hands and looked sternly down.  
  
"And I will make love to you before this night is over." He vowed. "There's just one more thing."  
  
Shannon looked up inquiringly, arching an annoyed brow at being kept waiting. Adam's smile spread slowly onto his handsome face.  
  
"In order for you to truly understand how much I love you," he said as he drew out every syllable for effect, "I can't top in our first time together."  
  
Shannon looked perplexed so Adam flipped them over quickly, pulling Shannon firmly on top of him.  
  
"You have to take me first."  
  
************************************  
  
NOTE: Ah, at long last! Adam and Shannon! What do you think of it so far? 


	29. Shannon's way!

Shannon blinked down at Adam in shock. He was supposed to top first? But he'd never topped before. What if he did it wrong? What if Adam didn't want to top at all? Could Shannon keep Adam happy in such a relationship? His emotions must have flickered across his face because Adam's expression turned tender and he kissed Shannon's neck.  
  
"I do usually top," he assured the small blond. "But I want you to have complete control over our first time together. This is the only way I can think of to show you that I truly love you and want you for you."  
  
"So, you won't be disappointed in me if I don't do this right?" Shannon asked nervously.  
  
"How do you do it wrong?" Adam laughed.  
  
"I don't know," the smaller man ducked his head, embarrassed. "I've never topped before."  
  
Adam was quiet for a long moment and Shannon shyly returned his gaze back to his face. He saw the tall Canadian's features drawn into a deep frown and was afraid his admission had put Adam off. Warily, he waited.  
  
"No one's ever offered you the chance to see how it feels to be in control?" Adam asked tightly.  
  
Shannon now frowned as well as he wasn't sure what had suddenly pissed Adam off, though he knew now it wasn't his confession. He just slowly shook his head, confused.  
  
"When we have time tomorrow, you and I are going to go over each relationship you've had and I'm going to show you how all your past lovers were wrong," Adam said. "You were treated so badly, baby. But that's never happening again."  
  
Shannon could feel his heart jump a beat as Adam made that vow. It meant more to him than the lesson he was apparently trying to teach the smaller man now. But he knew instinctively that Adam wouldn't want Shannon to stop. It was very important to him that Shannon understand exactly what it felt like to be in control and in order for him to do that he would have to take Adam. And if this is what the tall blond wanted, who was he to argue?  
  
"So, how?" Shannon asked feeling stupid.  
  
"Do to me what you like done to you," Adam said with sparkling eyes.  
  
Shannon thought for a minute then leaned down and gently pressed his lips over Adam's, delighting in the moans he elicited. Growing bolder he slid his tongue into Adam's mouth and tentatively explored. Adam opened his mouth wider for him and Shannon was lost. A fever seemed to overtake him and he began to aggressively plunder the sweet mouth. Adam urged him on with his sighs and his touch, his hands exploring Shannon's body above him.  
  
"We're wearing way too many clothes," Shannon panted as he pulled away and rid himself of his and Adam's shirts.  
  
Adam chuckled and complied without argument. Shannon then eyed their pants in disdain. Deciding they, too, had to go, he stripped Adam first, making sure he got the boxers, too, then himself. He lay back on top of Adam and grinned widely down at him.  
  
"MUCH better," he growled as he returned to plunder Adam's mouth.  
  
He then slowly ran the tip of his tongue around one of Adam's ears. The tall Canadian yelped and tangled his fingers in Shannon's hair, urging him on further. Shannon, meanwhile, had never felt more empowered. Every moan he got from Adam gave him a sense of control and fed his need. It was a heady feeling that he'd never experienced. No wonder the men he'd been with all loved the feeling. It was damn selfish of them not to share, though. He continued down Adam's chest and suckled on the nipples lightly, trading back and forth between the two. Adam writhed and groaned when Shannon reached his bellybutton. The small blond darted his tongue inside and Adam nearly jumped off the bed.  
  
"A little sensitive there, huh, baby," Shannon giggled. He loved the reactions he was getting from Adam and tried to think of more ways to tease him. It was a new and welcome discovery of his, and he would forever be grateful to Adam for opening him up to it.  
  
"If you continue doing what I think you're going to do, I may not last long enough for the finale," Adam said through gritted teeth.  
  
Shannon glanced up at his new lover and frowned again. "But I was just getting started."  
  
"Oh, you'll have plenty of time to tease me tonight," Adam promised, pulling Shannon back up on top of him. "But for now, let's just say I can't wait for you to make love to me."  
  
The hoarsely murmured words were enough to make the small blond's already firm shaft solid as a piece of stone. He groaned as he reached blindly over to the table next to the bed for a tube of lube and sighed in exasperation when he remembered he didn't take any out. Adam chuckled again at Shannon's predicament and reached over the edge of the bed with one hand for his pants. He came up with a small tube of KY and a condom.  
  
"Oh, you were a boy scout?" Shannon laughed.  
  
"Nah," the Canadian grinned. "But I always believed in their motto."  
  
Shannon smiled back as he coated two of his fingers and slipped one into Adam's waiting hole. Shit, it was tight! Adam groaned but spread his legs wider to make things easier for Shannon. He worked slowly so as not to hurt Adam too much. After a few minutes, Shannon carefully added the other finger and bumped up against something soft inside of Adam. The taller man moaned loudly and constricted around Shannon's finger.  
  
"Discovered what it feels like to touch the prostate, huh?" Adam laughed at Shannon's alarmed expression. "I'm ready for YOU now, baby."  
  
Again, Shannon's cock jumped at the mere thought and he covered Adam with his body. He locked eyes with his new lover and slowly pushed himself inside. Adam held still and let Shannon control how fast and deeply he penetrated. Shannon watched carefully to make sure he wasn't going too fast and tearing Adam in any way. Some of his past lovers had done that to him and he remembered how it burned for days afterwards. He would never do that to Adam. Slowly he sank in until he was buried to the hilt and he sighed in pleasure. Adam was so tight and hot! The Canadian looked up at him with a languid gaze, indicating he was enjoying the sensation as well.  
  
"Been a long time since anyone's topped you?" the smaller man asked.  
  
"Forever."  
  
"So, it ain't out of the realm of possibilities to do this again sometime?"  
  
"I would never deny you this," Adam laughed. "And I would never deny ME this either."  
  
Shannon laughed with him then set a slow and sensual gait, drinking in all of the sounds and expressions Adam made. This truly was heavenly, he thought. Adam soon pressed into Shannon's strokes and the smaller man quickened the pace. Adam nipped and lightly bit at Shannon's ears to speed it up even more and Shannon obliged him stroking Adam's cock in time with his thrusts and slamming into him with hard and fast strokes that threatened to make him spill himself. Soon Adam's walls tightened around the smaller man's shaft and pull on it.  
  
Adam's excitement seemed to be growing as he pushed harder and harder against Shannon with every ensuing thrust. Suddenly there was a hot splash against Shannon's stomach and he grunted knowing what was about to happen to him. He couldn't hold out any longer and exploded into Adam with a more intense orgasm than he'd ever known. He screamed his lover's name and shouted his release into the air until Adam pulled his mouth back down and swallowed the rest of it. Pulling back he panted and kissed Adam's cheeks and neck.  
  
"Oh my GOD!" Shannon murmured over and over again like a mantra as he snuggled into Adam gratefully. He was happily sated but still felt the urge to nibble, so he caught Adam's ear lobe between his teeth and bit down gently.  
  
"I concur," the taller man sighed pulling Shannon tightly to his side and spooning him from behind.  
  
"I made a mess," Shannon laughed as he settled into his new lover's embrace. He knew it wouldn't take him very long to get used to this attention.  
  
"WE made a mess."  
  
"I'll get us some towels," Shannon offered trying to get up.  
  
"No, you'll stay right here where you belong," Adam tightened his grip. "I want my cuddling time. Besides, we can shower together later and we have another bed to sleep in when we're done."  
  
"We're not done yet?"  
  
"No," Adam's throaty laughter filled his ear. "I promised you I'm make love to you before the night was over."  
  
Shannon shuddered in anticipation.  
  
"I'll just give you a little bit of time to rest," Adam said with a sexy hitch in his voice.  
  
Oh, Shannon wasn't sure he could wait!  
  
**********************************  
  
NOTE: Have I made up for my faux pas in starting a sex scene on a Friday? Sorry, everyone! I should know not to do that, as the weekends are hell for me usually. (At least when it comes to finding time to write.) MANY apologies, Cat, xtreme, karisma, and everyone else who may have been left hanging there. Did you like this? 


	30. Matt's move

Jay pushed the door closed behind him and grunted loudly. Another night of trying to avoid Chris' overtures and he was going to scream. Or hit Chris. Yeah, maybe more drastic measures were called for. Matt chuckled from the other side of the room and Jay blinked in surprise. He hadn't expected to find his roommate up here.  
  
"You, too?"  
  
Matt nodded and pulled off his tee. He was in for the night apparently, which gave Jay a sense of relief. Matt had obviously become much more important to him than he 'd previously realized.  
  
"Rob grabbed my ass on the way out of the locker room, so I decided to hightail it back here," Matt explained.  
  
Jay nodded dumbly trying not to make it so obvious that he was transfixed by Matt's bare chest.  
  
"Chris still after you?"  
  
"Huh?" Jay looked up in surprise. "Oh, yeah. It seems he and the other two don't believe our story."  
  
"Hmm," Matt murmured thoughtfully. "How can we convince them?"  
  
As he said this, Matt was walking slowly to the bed. He and Jay had agreed to get single bed hotel rooms from now on because they only used one bed anymore anyway, and because it would be another detail in their story for the three stalkers. But Jay was privately glad to have Matt this close to him. It made him more comfortable to know for sure that he and Matt would be sleeping together, and not guessing up to the last minute. He wondered when Matt would catch on to Jay's feelings and what he would do about it. Jay still couldn't quite make himself believe his feelings would be returned. How could they while Shawn was still around?  
  
"I, I don't know," Jay stammered following Matt with his eyes.  
  
Matt looked back at him with an unreadable expression, but it was intense. Jay could feel his heart pick up speed as he locked eyes with Matt and couldn't look away. And he'd tried, too. He knew that Matt would easily read his feelings if he stared into Jay's eyes for too long so he'd tried desperately to look away at something, anything else. But Matt's dark gaze held his firmly and Jay began to tremble.  
  
"Don't fear me," Matt pleaded softly, his Southern accent thick and undisguised like it usually was. "The last thing I ever want to do is make you fear me."  
  
Jay blinked again in surprise. What was going here? Matt was being gentle and soft. He was moving so slowly, too as he sat on the bed. It was as if he was doing whatever he could to keep Jay comfortable, so that the Canadian wouldn't run from the room. Could Shannon be right? Could Matt have feelings for him? Jay held his breath hoping.  
  
"I, I don't," he stammered again. "I don't fear you."  
  
"Why are you shaking?"  
  
Jay shrugged but he couldn't stop the trembling. He was so afraid this was another dream and that he'd wake up beside Matt again, who would be fast asleep and unaware.  
  
"Come to me," Matt whispered, holding out a hand.  
  
Jay studied it carefully. It looked real. But how could he be sure? If this was a dream, Jay knew that Matt would dissolve into thin air as soon as the blond touched his hand. And Jay didn't want the dream to end if that's what this was.  
  
"I promise I won't hurt you," Matt said keeping his hand forward. "I know, considering the way I was when I first came back here, you have no reason on this earth to believe me, but it's the honest truth, Jay. I will not hurt you. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again. I swear to you, if you'll take this chance, this one really big risk, I'll make sure you feel nothing but love from now on."  
  
Jay looked from the hand up to Matt's face. And there he saw it. Matt's eyes finally became clear and Jay could see he wasn't kidding. He meant every last word. This both thrilled and scared the blond man. These feelings he'd developed for the older Hardy were so much more intense than ones he'd ever experienced before, Adam included. He knew that if Matt chose to, he could completely destroy him forever. And his past actions showed that he was capable of such cruelty. Shannon had barely managed to survive the fallout. Ironic that Adam, Jay's destroyer, became the small blond's savior. But Matt's eyes held only naked, raw emotion, indicating that Jay wasn't the only one taking a risk now. The dark man kept his arm out to Jay and waited patiently.  
  
I could turn away now, Jay thought. I could make Matt pay for what he did to Shannon and get a small measure of revenge for myself for I went though over the years if I just walk out the door. He studied Matt's eyes as he thought things over. It was easy to see that Matt was just as vulnerable right now as Jay. But a stabbing pain in his heart broke his thoughts like a dam. He couldn't do that to this man. Once upon a time he could have, should have really, done that to Adam. But not this man who was so much the love of his life right now. Jay suddenly knew he would never walk away from Matt again and he moved forward to take Matt's hand.  
  
*********************************  
  
Matt's released the breath he was holding and tugged Jay down onto the bed with him, burying his face in the blond's neck.  
  
"You weren't sure what I'd say, were you?" Jay asked amused.  
  
"No."  
  
"You really risked a lot."  
  
"I risked everything," Matt said pulling back and leaning in. "I had to, though. You needed to know you had the power."  
  
Jay raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to reply but Matt didn't let him. He pressed his lips firmly to Jay's and put a hand behind the other's man's head to keep him there. Matt had been dreaming of this kiss for a long time and he wasn't about to rush it. Jay seemed startled at first but relaxed into him and even began to kiss him back. He opened his mouth and Matt took full advantage by sliding his tongue inside and tasting him. God, Jay tasted like heaven. The other man moaned and pressed into Matt urgently.  
  
"I don't want to rush you," Matt said softly as he pulled back slightly and began to kiss the side of Jay's mouth. "We are only going as fast as you want to."  
  
Jay stared at him in wonder and Matt began to feel self-conscious.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing," Jay shrugged. "It's just been a long time since someone let me set the pace."  
  
"Adam didn't?" Matt asked then wanted to kick himself for bringing Jay's ex up even in casual conversation. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be," Jay smiled. "And he did at first. But you know what it was like later on. Then Steiner didn't particularly care what I thought when he dragged my drunk ass into his room."  
  
"Steiner?" Matt asked deceptively sounding calm. He didn't want to startle his new soon-to-be lover, but he had to know the story behind this one. The rumor mill had mentioned it, but it was long ago when Matt was more concerned about his plan. Now he had to know what had happened to Jay before he came to Raw. "What happened with him?"  
  
Matt nuzzled Jay's ear to lull him into docilely explaining what happened with Scott, and it worked. It seemed that Jay would tell him anything in this state, and Matt filed it away for the future, vowing not to abuse the technique. He never wanted to hurt Jay and would only use the tactic if necessary. When Jay finished his story, Matt attempted to remain calm. He was definitely going to take this up with Steiner and, if he had to, with Booker T. Nobody would make Jay feel like a piece of ass again while he was around.  
  
"You're upset," Jay said and Matt looked at him.  
  
"Not at you," he clarified. "Never, ever at you. Just at those two pricks."  
  
"But it's in the past," Jay still looked perplexed. "Jeff, Chris and Drew took care of it when I couldn't." Jay looked down, embarrassed. "I haven't been very brave lately."  
  
Matt pulled Jay's chin up and looked into his eyes. "You don't need to be anything other than what you are," he said firmly. "Don't pretend to be strong when you feel hurt."  
  
"I'm a wrestler," Jay whined. "I shouldn't let shit like this get to me."  
  
"You're a human being," Matt replied. "You feel what you need to feel. I'll take care of the rest."  
  
"You don't have to, you know."  
  
"Yes, I do."  
  
"Why?" Jay asked.  
  
"Because I love you."  
  
The words were out before Matt even thought about them and now he looked at Jay uncertainly, wondering if he was rushing things like he vowed he wouldn't. The other man suddenly smiled beautifully.  
  
"Don't just tell me, Matt," he said lying back on the bed. "Show me."  
  
*********************************  
  
NOTE: Oh my GOD I hope my computer is finally fixed by the end of the weekend as promised by my brother. This sporadic writing is KILLING me! What do you think of the chapter? I had to set up Jay and Matt before they made love. Do you like? Also, to HD: WHERE ARE YOU? I've emailed you and now I'm getting worried. Get in touch, girlie! 


	31. Jay gets his man

Now it was Matt's turn to feel nervous. What if he went too fast and scared Jay away? He didn't think he could handle that after everything he went through to find his way to him and convince him to give their relationship a chance … especially after the way he'd reentered the Canadian's life and blackmailed him into that stupid, Godforsaken plan that never should have been put into action to begin with. And he just hoped Jay really did forgive him for that.

"I won't break, you know," Jay said, an amused smirk playing around his lips. "And I know you'll be careful."

_How does he read my mind like that?_ Matt thought. He slowly moved his body to cover Jay's and eased his weight down, looking into the blond's eyes for any sign of discomfort. But there wasn't any to be seen. Jay smiled up at him hopefully, even wrapping his arms around Matt's neck. He gave his typical V1 smirk and leaned down again, touching his lips gently to Jay's in a maddeningly slow way that had the other man whimper in frustration and deepen the kiss himself.

"We should go slow," he rasped out as the blond finally allowed him to breathe.

"I don't want to," Jay whined, pulling him back down for another kiss that ignited Matt's blood with a passion he was finding it difficult to contain. But he knew this would be the ultimate test of his determination, and Matt wasn't about to fail it; not when the stakes were this high.

"I refuse to allow our first time to be a flurry of rushed, clumsy movements, Jay," he said as softly as he could manage in his current condition. "We are going to make love … _**NOT **_just have sex. Do you understand me?"

Jay gazed up at him with a mutinous expression that eventually morphed into something resembling gratitude. "I just …" he stammered. "I just want to …"

"We will," Matt murmured, leaning back into him and placing little kisses all over his cheeks and neck. "We're going to make love tonight. I promise. But we have all night. And this is too important to both of us. I want to be absolutely sure we do this right, and you know exactly how important you are to me."

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Jay stared up at Matt in confusion. He thought everything would be fine once they just started. After all, whenever he and Adam had made love in the past, the other was a flurry of quick movements and deep kisses. That's all there really was to the sexual side of relationships, right? Steiner had been all but forgettable, but Adam had been Jay's only other real relationship. And though things weren't ended on the best of terms, the earlier parts weren't so bad. They couldn't have been for Jay to have stayed with him for so long. What was he missing here?

"Let me guess," Matt said gently, propping himself up on his elbows so he could look down at Jay. "You've never actually made love before … not even with …?"

He let the question hang in the air, apparently not wanting to open any old wounds, though Jay found it difficult to be upset by the mention of Adam's name anymore. His heart was too consumed with the dark haired man leaning over him now. He snorted his reply and assumed a pompous "Christian" look to put Matt at ease.

"You're not fighting the ghost of an old relationship, Matt," he finally said when he received the smile he'd been looking for. "You're the only one I think about now.

"Really?" Matt asked, raising a dark eyebrow.

"Really," he replied with finality. "And to answer your question, I guess I'm not sure." He felt his cheeks redden and he looked away, embarrassed. "He was the only long-term relationship I had, and I guess I don't have anything to compare my experience to."

He felt Matt lean in again and kiss the side of his head, and he yelped in surprise when the man nipped at his earlobe.

"Let me show you how someone who really loves you should … love you," Matt whispered in his ear before he covered his mouth again in a long, slow languid kiss that started a warm fire deep in the pit of his stomach.

_Oh, I can definitely get used to this_, he barely remembered telling himself just as his mind blanked out and he gave himself over to Matt completely. Somewhere along the way, he was aware of his new lover removing his t-shirt and undoing his pants. He whimpered and writhed against Matt desperate to get the offending pants off him as well, but the other man's hands moved to his waist holding Jay still by applying a gently pressure with his palms.

"Shhh," the Southern man said lazily. "I keep telling you we have all night."

"B-but I want … I want …"

"I know what you want," his lover replied. "God, I want it, too! But we're doing it right, especially the first time. I can't make any mistakes with you, Jay. You're too important to me."

Jay found himself panting, trying to get air into his lungs. Matt's dark eyes were intense, filled with love and passion. It was a novel experience, being on the receiving end of such a look. He'd never felt this loved before. It was like he was a precious gift that Matt wanted to cherish, and so not a lover to be kept hidden like Adam had. For the first time in a relationship, he knew damn well he was the most important thing in his lover's world. The realization hit him suddenly that this was his soul mate he was making love to for the first time. It wasn't just sex; it was the completion of a bond that would never be broken. This was what Matt was trying to convey to him.

"You're never going to leave me, are you?" Jay croaked, his eyes filling with tears. He thought it would come out as a desperate, clingy remark, but it didn't. Even to his own ears, he could hear the finality of the statement. It wasn't a request or a plea, but a fact.

"Never … ever," Matt whispered, kissing his forehead to punctuate the statement.

Tears of relief finally fell, unbidden, down the side of Jay's face and he looked up at Matt, catching and locking his gaze. "I won't leave you either."

Matt smiled gently at him and leaned in for another kiss, which lasted as long as the previous one and caused an even stronger reaction in Jay's body. He was trembling again but this time in anticipation. Matt didn't break the kiss, apparently understanding his lover's response. His tongue entered the blond's mouth and explored the recesses tenderly, learning the feel and taste of him. And Jay was learning the same about Matt, gripping onto him and running his hands all over the broadly muscled back. It didn't take long for Jay to become familiar with how Matt's body felt atop his own. He liked the feeling of being gently pressed into the mattress behind him. Matt didn't loom over him and make him feel small. He covered him in all the right places, and made him feel treasured.

Finally, the slow pace became too much and he pulled back slightly, gasping for air. "Pl-please, Matt."

"Please what, baby?" he asked.

Jay delighted in the tingle that went down his spine when he heard the endearment.

"Please make love to me," he whined.

"I am making love to you," Matt replied with a coy smile and a twinkle in his dark eyes.

"Then please make me yours …" Jay whispered, knowing what the request was going to do to his lover's mood.

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Matt's expression changed at hearing that from his new lover. He hadn't expected Jay to use such terminology, given the past he'd endured. But he could see that the blond meant it exactly as it sounded.

"You're not a possession," he said in a low, sexy voice he knew Jay thrilled at hearing.

"I know, but I am your boyfriend … aren't I?"

"I sure as hell hope so," Matt grunted, nipping sharply at Jay's ear, his movements quickening jut a bit to let his lover know what was coming. _No surprises_, he'd decided. Jay would set the pace. "It would kill me to lose you now."

"Then bond with me," Jay panted. "Make me yours … that way."

Matt was almost bowled over at the relief that swept over him. Jay did understand what this all meant and wouldn't be driven away if he let go of his intense side. Because Matt knew the truth was he couldn't seem to help himself when he was around Jay. He'd never really felt such a need to attach himself to someone before. It was a new experience, and one he was ready to give in to, as long as his lover was okay with it.

"I want that," he said, and smiled at the wide-eyed yet excited look he got from Jay. "I want that so much."

"Then what's stopping you?"

"Nothing now," Matt grinned and leaned in to capture Jay's mouth in a searing kiss meant to set fire to them both.

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NOTE: Ha! That's right! This one's back, too! How do you like them apples?


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